Incomplete and All Alone : Short story
Title: Incomplete and All Alone
Author: Dissy
Summary: Why, Joel? Benji needs to know.
Disclaimer: Not real, unfortunately
Dedication: To those who still hang around here after all these years. And of course who can be bothered to read this =)
Over the years you and I have lent our ‘vocal talents’ to various artists. From Mest to Simple Plan, X-Ecutioners to N.E.R.D. But there is one recent stint that just has me baffled.
Blood on the Dance Floor
Why Joel? Why Blood on the Dance Floor? I have been pondering this for months. Why a song so heartfelt, with the title ‘Incomplete and All Alone”? It’s not the fact it’s Blood on the Dance Floor. It’s the lyrics.
Joel; happily married with two children and all the perks. Your life is perfect. Logically, anyone would assume that it should have been me providing the vocals.
I already know what your argument would be. They are ‘simply lyrics with no deep meaning’ for you personally. That you were just flattered to have the opportunity to work with such a group. Yeah well, I see right through it. I have lost count of the times I have listened to that track. Your voice, so full of emotion, I felt your pain. I FEEL your pain. It’s not as simple as singing the lyrics put in front of you. I know that the lyrics hold meaning for you.
So instead of letting questions eat away at me I am going to find out the truth.
Looking to my right I see you curled up against the arm of the couch, your arms wrapped tightly around a pillow and eyes staring at the television screen in front of you. Deciding I’d rather your attention on me I pick the remote off the coffee table and switch it off.
“HEY! I was watching that!” You shout as you automatically shoot upright and glare at me.
I shrug and look into your eyes. Eyes I haven’t been able to read for years. Though, I know you can still read mine and I see you suddenly relax and position your body so you are facing me, one arm draped over the back of the couch.
“What’s on your mind, Benjamin”, your eyes still locked with mine.
“I’m curious” I say, lifting my hand and scratching lightly at the back of my neck. You raise an eyebrow at me so I continue.
“Blood on the Dance Floor” I say in almost a whisper. “Why? And saying it was a great opportunity is not an acceptable answer. I know there’s more to it, Joel. I know…” I pause and take a moment to scan your face before continuing.
“I know there’s a deeper meaning…” I whisper.
Instantly you have your bottom lip between your teeth. And although it looks like your eyes are on mine, I know they are focusing on the wall behind me. You know you can’t lie to me. Not when I have caught your bluff because you even had the chance to lie.
I hear the release of breath that you were holding in. Lowering your head you start to pick at the lint of the couch and I barely hear you mumble “I had to”.
Reaching my right hand up I place it over yours, gently squeezing, so you know I am listening and as a hint for you to continue.
“That one moment in time, I felt like I could release everything I had bottled up.” You explain, raising your head and looking at me from under half-lidded eyes. As you see the confusion on my face, you snatch your hand away from mine, clasping both of your hands in your lap.
“Do you remember, March 2003? We were in Sydney on our Australian tour.” I nod slowly.
“We had three shows lined up there, and you and I were sharing a hotel room…” you trail off and a light bulb finally comes on in my brain.
Australia. Sydney. After the third show we went straight back to our hotel room and…
“Oh my god” I shake my head to rid myself of the memory. But I can’t. I wanted you so bad that night, I couldn’t explain why, and I still can’t. I can’t blame it on being drunk either because we both know we were completely sober. We gave ourselves to each other that night.
“Yeah…” you laugh nervously and shift uncomfortably, much like myself. I can feel the heat building up in my body. It’s suffocating me.
Swallowing the lump that suddenly formed in my throat, I gain the courage to move closer to you, placing my right hand on your leg that’s started to shake uncontrollably. It hit’s me like a tonne of bricks; 'And when you love something they say set it free, if it don’t come back it wasn’t meant to be’. Was that about us? Nothing was said after that night, we just moved on like it never happened. But Joel never forgot about it. Truth be told, neither did I.
“It’s one of the reasons I love going there…not just the memories of that night , but the fact it means I get to spend so much time with you.” You confess and smile shyly. My jaw drops to the floor and I stare into nothingness. Now more questions are floating in my mind. Could this be why you became a coach on The Voice and why I was a ‘mentor’…then those KFC adverts of us making fools of ourselves attempting to play cricket? I still chuckle at the thought of you holding the cricket bat like a baseball bat. And now, a damn Vodafone advert. Not to mention the Keith Urban tour where we performed as The Madden Brothers…
I snap out of my daze as the soft padding of your fingers touch just under my chin, pushing my jaw back up. When you slide your fingertips along my jaw I can’t help but turn my gaze to meet yours. Resting your hand flat against my cheek, I take a deep breath and close my eyes. It feels so natural to be touched by you this way. Leaning into your hand I lose myself in the memory of the last time you were so affectionate towards me.
“I destroy everything I touch, even things I love too much” you whisper, quoting a lyric from the song.
Slowly opening my eyes I can’t help but notice that your face is even closer than it was before. My tongue rolls out over my lips because suddenly they feel so dry, along with my throat. You cast your eyes down to my lips just as my tongue retreats.
You bite your lip, take a deep breath and let your eyes close and I feel dizzy as your warm, plush lips press firmly to mine. With the simple touch of lips on lips I feel all your pain, love and fear from over the years release into my body like electric shocks, jumpstarting my heart. My heart is beating for you.
Throwing my arms around your neck I force our bodies closer together, my eyes slipping shut. My chest pressing against yours, our hearts pounding as I tilt my head a little to the left and our lips stay locked until we finally have to part for air.
“Why” I whisper against your lips,
“Because Benjamin. Without you, I am incomplete and all alone…”
-----------------------
A/N: I had to. It got stuck in my head when I woke in the middle of the night. Be nice ;)
Author: Dissy
Summary: Why, Joel? Benji needs to know.
Disclaimer: Not real, unfortunately
Dedication: To those who still hang around here after all these years. And of course who can be bothered to read this =)
Over the years you and I have lent our ‘vocal talents’ to various artists. From Mest to Simple Plan, X-Ecutioners to N.E.R.D. But there is one recent stint that just has me baffled.
Blood on the Dance Floor
Why Joel? Why Blood on the Dance Floor? I have been pondering this for months. Why a song so heartfelt, with the title ‘Incomplete and All Alone”? It’s not the fact it’s Blood on the Dance Floor. It’s the lyrics.
Joel; happily married with two children and all the perks. Your life is perfect. Logically, anyone would assume that it should have been me providing the vocals.
I already know what your argument would be. They are ‘simply lyrics with no deep meaning’ for you personally. That you were just flattered to have the opportunity to work with such a group. Yeah well, I see right through it. I have lost count of the times I have listened to that track. Your voice, so full of emotion, I felt your pain. I FEEL your pain. It’s not as simple as singing the lyrics put in front of you. I know that the lyrics hold meaning for you.
So instead of letting questions eat away at me I am going to find out the truth.
Looking to my right I see you curled up against the arm of the couch, your arms wrapped tightly around a pillow and eyes staring at the television screen in front of you. Deciding I’d rather your attention on me I pick the remote off the coffee table and switch it off.
“HEY! I was watching that!” You shout as you automatically shoot upright and glare at me.
I shrug and look into your eyes. Eyes I haven’t been able to read for years. Though, I know you can still read mine and I see you suddenly relax and position your body so you are facing me, one arm draped over the back of the couch.
“What’s on your mind, Benjamin”, your eyes still locked with mine.
“I’m curious” I say, lifting my hand and scratching lightly at the back of my neck. You raise an eyebrow at me so I continue.
“Blood on the Dance Floor” I say in almost a whisper. “Why? And saying it was a great opportunity is not an acceptable answer. I know there’s more to it, Joel. I know…” I pause and take a moment to scan your face before continuing.
“I know there’s a deeper meaning…” I whisper.
Instantly you have your bottom lip between your teeth. And although it looks like your eyes are on mine, I know they are focusing on the wall behind me. You know you can’t lie to me. Not when I have caught your bluff because you even had the chance to lie.
I hear the release of breath that you were holding in. Lowering your head you start to pick at the lint of the couch and I barely hear you mumble “I had to”.
Reaching my right hand up I place it over yours, gently squeezing, so you know I am listening and as a hint for you to continue.
“That one moment in time, I felt like I could release everything I had bottled up.” You explain, raising your head and looking at me from under half-lidded eyes. As you see the confusion on my face, you snatch your hand away from mine, clasping both of your hands in your lap.
“Do you remember, March 2003? We were in Sydney on our Australian tour.” I nod slowly.
“We had three shows lined up there, and you and I were sharing a hotel room…” you trail off and a light bulb finally comes on in my brain.
Australia. Sydney. After the third show we went straight back to our hotel room and…
“Oh my god” I shake my head to rid myself of the memory. But I can’t. I wanted you so bad that night, I couldn’t explain why, and I still can’t. I can’t blame it on being drunk either because we both know we were completely sober. We gave ourselves to each other that night.
“Yeah…” you laugh nervously and shift uncomfortably, much like myself. I can feel the heat building up in my body. It’s suffocating me.
Swallowing the lump that suddenly formed in my throat, I gain the courage to move closer to you, placing my right hand on your leg that’s started to shake uncontrollably. It hit’s me like a tonne of bricks; 'And when you love something they say set it free, if it don’t come back it wasn’t meant to be’. Was that about us? Nothing was said after that night, we just moved on like it never happened. But Joel never forgot about it. Truth be told, neither did I.
“It’s one of the reasons I love going there…not just the memories of that night , but the fact it means I get to spend so much time with you.” You confess and smile shyly. My jaw drops to the floor and I stare into nothingness. Now more questions are floating in my mind. Could this be why you became a coach on The Voice and why I was a ‘mentor’…then those KFC adverts of us making fools of ourselves attempting to play cricket? I still chuckle at the thought of you holding the cricket bat like a baseball bat. And now, a damn Vodafone advert. Not to mention the Keith Urban tour where we performed as The Madden Brothers…
I snap out of my daze as the soft padding of your fingers touch just under my chin, pushing my jaw back up. When you slide your fingertips along my jaw I can’t help but turn my gaze to meet yours. Resting your hand flat against my cheek, I take a deep breath and close my eyes. It feels so natural to be touched by you this way. Leaning into your hand I lose myself in the memory of the last time you were so affectionate towards me.
“I destroy everything I touch, even things I love too much” you whisper, quoting a lyric from the song.
Slowly opening my eyes I can’t help but notice that your face is even closer than it was before. My tongue rolls out over my lips because suddenly they feel so dry, along with my throat. You cast your eyes down to my lips just as my tongue retreats.
You bite your lip, take a deep breath and let your eyes close and I feel dizzy as your warm, plush lips press firmly to mine. With the simple touch of lips on lips I feel all your pain, love and fear from over the years release into my body like electric shocks, jumpstarting my heart. My heart is beating for you.
Throwing my arms around your neck I force our bodies closer together, my eyes slipping shut. My chest pressing against yours, our hearts pounding as I tilt my head a little to the left and our lips stay locked until we finally have to part for air.
“Why” I whisper against your lips,
“Because Benjamin. Without you, I am incomplete and all alone…”
-----------------------
A/N: I had to. It got stuck in my head when I woke in the middle of the night. Be nice ;)