The End of Heartache
this is a fanfiction that I'd just like to post here because...well, just because. it's my journal. feedback/comments appreciated!
The End of Heartache
Band: Murderdolls
Shipper: Joey/Acey
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, possible romance
Warnings: Self harm, references to drugs.
Chapter: One: Dissolution
(Seek me, Call me, I'll be waiting)
Joey stared out the window, watching the fog envelop the city. His heart felt empty. It weighed heavily on his mind. Everything else seemed so far away. It was something he couldn’t touch as he watched from his window, stained with the invisible elixir that had claimed his mind. He fingered the Jack Daniels bottle beside him like a loving friend, a caring companion.
This distance
This disillusion
I cling to memories
While falling
Natasha had been so good to him. She’d been there. She’d cared. She’d let him fuck her whenever he pleased. Maybe that was because that was all she expected out of him. No matter how much the diminutive man loved sex, he preferred commitment. It was a difficult concept to grasp.
Sleep brings relief
And the hope of a new day
Waking the misery
Of being without you
She’d given up when he’d asked what their relationship was. She thought it was a “friends with benefits” sort of deal. All sex, no talk. You know, that kind of thing. He’d caught her in bed with countless other men, but each time he’d forgive her, they’d go have sex, and it would happen again the next week. The only one who had understood after she’d finally stormed out of the relationship was Acey.
Surrender I give in
A moment is another eternity
Oh, Acey. He was a compassionate one. He cared and held Joey when all he did was cry. Yes, hard to believe, but he did cry. Acey had kissed the wounds and made them better. He’d never spoken of anything more, and that, maybe, had left Joey even emptier than before.
Seek me for comfort
Call me for solace
I'll be waiting
For the end of my broken heart
Acey had shown him what it was like to love again with a simple kiss, but he took it away just as quickly when he disappeared, apparently out of shame or doubt. Neither emotion fit the bill in Joey’s mind. Acey, the one who had been his solace, was gone. Just like Natasha had gone. He wished one of them would come back to him to fight away the loneliness that threatened to consume his soul.
Completion
I'll be waiting
For the end of my broken heart
Joey’s heartstrings tugged as he thought of the other man. He was probably in Pennsylvania or New York or something. Joey was in Des Moines, watching the weather change outside with not even the slightest hint of interest. His heart was in pieces and he had no desire to pick them up, and would have rather watched them wilt before his eyes and disappear into nothing.
You know me
You know me all to well
My only desire
Is to bridge our division
Joey sighed as he started at a knock at the door. He decided to ignore. You know, pretend he wasn’t home. He wasn’t into company at the moment, anyway. The person on the other side of the door, however, seemed to know him well enough to knock again, more persistently. He sighed and resigned himself to the fate of actually caring who was at the door.
In sorrow
I speak your name
And my voice mirrors, mirrors my torment
Joey muttered one word under his breath, though it was not an orthodox one. “Acey,” was what was uttered, in a sorrowful voice, fluttering over his lips in an almost sensual way. He flicked his tongue over his lips and slowly walked to the door, pacing as though he were in time with a dirge.
Am I breathing?
My strength fails me
Your picture
A bitter memory
Joey placed his slender hand on the door, pulling it open angrily. He was angry that someone had interrupted his brooding. When it swung open, however, he was met by stunning brown eyes lit in a sad smile.
“Heya, Joey,” Acey said in almost a shy voice.
Joey realized he must have looked like shit. His hair hadn’t been brushed in three days, and he was wearing the same pants for those three days, covered in spills of Jack Daniels. He hadn’t drunk any liquor in eighteen hours but the house smelt of liquor anyway.
“Hi Ace,” Joey mumbled. “Wanna come in?”
“Uh, sure,” Acey said, tucking his new shorter hair behind his ear, stepping carefully inside. “You look like you haven’t cleaned in weeks.”
“I haven’t,” Joey said matter-of-factly, flopping on the bed.
“Oh,” Acey said.
”So, where you been?” Joey asked, patting the bed beside him for the other man to sit.
“In New York putting together another band,” Acey said. “Trashlight Vision.” Joey nodded, placing his hand over his eyes.
“I see; and you didn’t even care to call me, just once, in six months?” Joey snapped, sitting back up on the bed.
“I’m-I’m sorry, Joey; I thought you wanted time alone!” Acey said, his eyes pleading. As if begging Joey to believe him. Joey had always been a sucker for Acey’s eyes and sighed.
“I’m sorry, Acey; I’ve just been on fucking edge since you left,” Joey mumbled, tucking his haphazard hair behind his ear.
“I’m sorry, Joey,” Acey said apologetically. “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
“Let me go take a shower and I’ll think about it, okay?” Joey said, suddenly feeling the desire need to cleanse himself.
“All right,” Acey said, sprawling out on the couch. He sighed. This would have to be a very long shower.
The End of Heartache
Band: Murderdolls
Shipper: Joey/Acey
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, possible romance
Warnings: Self harm, references to drugs.
Chapter: One: Dissolution
(Seek me, Call me, I'll be waiting)
Joey stared out the window, watching the fog envelop the city. His heart felt empty. It weighed heavily on his mind. Everything else seemed so far away. It was something he couldn’t touch as he watched from his window, stained with the invisible elixir that had claimed his mind. He fingered the Jack Daniels bottle beside him like a loving friend, a caring companion.
This distance
This disillusion
I cling to memories
While falling
Natasha had been so good to him. She’d been there. She’d cared. She’d let him fuck her whenever he pleased. Maybe that was because that was all she expected out of him. No matter how much the diminutive man loved sex, he preferred commitment. It was a difficult concept to grasp.
Sleep brings relief
And the hope of a new day
Waking the misery
Of being without you
She’d given up when he’d asked what their relationship was. She thought it was a “friends with benefits” sort of deal. All sex, no talk. You know, that kind of thing. He’d caught her in bed with countless other men, but each time he’d forgive her, they’d go have sex, and it would happen again the next week. The only one who had understood after she’d finally stormed out of the relationship was Acey.
Surrender I give in
A moment is another eternity
Oh, Acey. He was a compassionate one. He cared and held Joey when all he did was cry. Yes, hard to believe, but he did cry. Acey had kissed the wounds and made them better. He’d never spoken of anything more, and that, maybe, had left Joey even emptier than before.
Seek me for comfort
Call me for solace
I'll be waiting
For the end of my broken heart
Acey had shown him what it was like to love again with a simple kiss, but he took it away just as quickly when he disappeared, apparently out of shame or doubt. Neither emotion fit the bill in Joey’s mind. Acey, the one who had been his solace, was gone. Just like Natasha had gone. He wished one of them would come back to him to fight away the loneliness that threatened to consume his soul.
Completion
I'll be waiting
For the end of my broken heart
Joey’s heartstrings tugged as he thought of the other man. He was probably in Pennsylvania or New York or something. Joey was in Des Moines, watching the weather change outside with not even the slightest hint of interest. His heart was in pieces and he had no desire to pick them up, and would have rather watched them wilt before his eyes and disappear into nothing.
You know me
You know me all to well
My only desire
Is to bridge our division
Joey sighed as he started at a knock at the door. He decided to ignore. You know, pretend he wasn’t home. He wasn’t into company at the moment, anyway. The person on the other side of the door, however, seemed to know him well enough to knock again, more persistently. He sighed and resigned himself to the fate of actually caring who was at the door.
In sorrow
I speak your name
And my voice mirrors, mirrors my torment
Joey muttered one word under his breath, though it was not an orthodox one. “Acey,” was what was uttered, in a sorrowful voice, fluttering over his lips in an almost sensual way. He flicked his tongue over his lips and slowly walked to the door, pacing as though he were in time with a dirge.
Am I breathing?
My strength fails me
Your picture
A bitter memory
Joey placed his slender hand on the door, pulling it open angrily. He was angry that someone had interrupted his brooding. When it swung open, however, he was met by stunning brown eyes lit in a sad smile.
“Heya, Joey,” Acey said in almost a shy voice.
Joey realized he must have looked like shit. His hair hadn’t been brushed in three days, and he was wearing the same pants for those three days, covered in spills of Jack Daniels. He hadn’t drunk any liquor in eighteen hours but the house smelt of liquor anyway.
“Hi Ace,” Joey mumbled. “Wanna come in?”
“Uh, sure,” Acey said, tucking his new shorter hair behind his ear, stepping carefully inside. “You look like you haven’t cleaned in weeks.”
“I haven’t,” Joey said matter-of-factly, flopping on the bed.
“Oh,” Acey said.
”So, where you been?” Joey asked, patting the bed beside him for the other man to sit.
“In New York putting together another band,” Acey said. “Trashlight Vision.” Joey nodded, placing his hand over his eyes.
“I see; and you didn’t even care to call me, just once, in six months?” Joey snapped, sitting back up on the bed.
“I’m-I’m sorry, Joey; I thought you wanted time alone!” Acey said, his eyes pleading. As if begging Joey to believe him. Joey had always been a sucker for Acey’s eyes and sighed.
“I’m sorry, Acey; I’ve just been on fucking edge since you left,” Joey mumbled, tucking his haphazard hair behind his ear.
“I’m sorry, Joey,” Acey said apologetically. “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
“Let me go take a shower and I’ll think about it, okay?” Joey said, suddenly feeling the desire need to cleanse himself.
“All right,” Acey said, sprawling out on the couch. He sighed. This would have to be a very long shower.