The End of Heartache

Mar 22, 2005 15:44

The End of Heartache
Band: Murderdolls
Shipper: Joey/Acey
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, possible romance
Warnings: Self harm, references to drugs.
Chapter: Two: Pretty Burning


I'm lying to myself
And this dagger's my excuse
I'm a pawn
I Should have paid up
And I left an hour late
I was laid up..

Joey slipped himself into his bathroom, heaving a sigh and leaning against the doorframe, the door shutting behind him. Acey Slade…is in my house…right now, he repeated to himself. He stripped off his shirt, dropping the plain black fabric to the floor.

I must abuse myself
I'm against all that I've made up
Set in stone the sun will come
And I hate light
You know I hate light
To me it looks so pretty burning

He tucked his hair behind his ears, out of his face. He pulled his Bermuda shorts off, letting them drop to the floor, along with his plaid boxers. Soon, he was standing nude in his bathroom, with Acey on the other side of the door. On that thought, his stomach erupted into a fit of butterflies.

Burn the sun
Burn the light
Take take take take take take it away

He stepped into the shower, turning it on incredibly hot, letting the steaming water shock his body. “Aah,” he muttered as the water shocked his skin. Joey sighed as he stared into space, his eyes unfocused. He felt his heart break in his chest. Acey was here. He was back. For God only knew how long. Maybe Joey’d just fuck him senseless and let him go. He thought brought tears to his eyes.

Take my hand
Take my life
Take take take take take take it away..

Soon, he was overcome with tears, leaning against the wall, consumed by silent sobs as he felt the pieces of his heart shatter into even smaller pieces. Soon, they wouldn’t have fit through a needle hole. He slid to the floor, pulling his legs to him, claiming them close to his stomach. Soon, he was consumed with sobs, anger, hate and regret breaking uncontrollably over him, waves of emotions licking at his conscious, overwhelming him.

I must have caught something
In the heat of all these dances
I'm a worm with no more chances
And I've lost all doubt
In a chemical romance

After a few moments of his intense sobbing, Joey stood up, continuing with his shower, going as quickly as was possible. His eyes fell, however, upon the one thing he hadn’t wanted them to fall on. HE felt a rush of heat go through his as his fingers reached out to touch a sharp edge of a blade.

I can't stop itching
over thoughts of tarnished hope
kinda funny
lonely feeling
I'm not in love
You know it's not love
To me it looks so pretty burning

His hand grasped around the little piece and he felt the sting of it slicing his flesh open. He shivered and opened his hand, watching the blood seep through his skin through a slit in his palm. The water droned on behind him, but his senses seemed to have honed in on the pain the slight piece of metal had inflicted on the sensitive skin of his palm.

Burn the sun
Burn the light
Take take take take take take it away
Take my hand
Take my life
Take take take take take take it away!

He swallowed hard and watched the redness stain his skin as it fell to the bottom of the tub. His eyes glazed over as he stared at the sharp object in his hands. He drew a shuddering breath and was tempted to drop the blade, but before he could, he took it between his fingertips and carved a thin straight line above his crotch. It began to bleed, and he blinked, looking to the blood caressing his skin, and his stomach contorted.

Brothers and sisters
I'm right here with you
Cause everyone's got one
A story to kill me
I'm so apathetic in my resentment
Living, loving, knowing not

“Oh, good Lord, fuck me,” Joey muttered as he watched the red blood careen down his legs as he stood under the water. His eyes fluttered and he leaned against the wall to stabilize himself. He slid down the wall and shut his eyes. The world had suddenly become very quick moving.

He looked at his hands and dropped the razor blade on the floor of the tub and shuddered, tears stinging at his eyes as he watched the clear water run crimson.

He swallowed with much effort and braced himself against the wall, pulling himself up from the bathtub.

He got himself up and grabbed a blue towel from the towel rack beside the shower. He placed it gingerly over the profusely bleeding incision.

After many minutes of placing pressure on the wound, it clotted. Joey was weak, but he could blame that on being drunk if Acey asked.

“Oh, God,” Joey thought as he remembered Acey on the other side of the door. His stomach clenched horribly. “What have I done?”

He drew in a shaky breath and pulled his Bermuda shorts on gingerly, deliberately keeping the top button undone. His hands were shaking so badly he almost couldn’t even do the other buttons.

He didn’t even bother putting a shirt on as he opened the door to his bathroom, to Acey laying spread-eagled on the bed.

Joey shivered and sat gingerly beside him.

“Why did you come back?” Joey asked, a quaver entering his voice.
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