God, it is good to be thin again.

At the end of the day he just doesn't love me.

Not like I do him anyway.

It's a combination of just wanting to be alone. Of knowing that's not happening. That I'll be somewhere scary and that maybe I'm making a mistake Fairness has nothing to do with it. I'm obviously incapable of making even the simplest of decisions in my life. I can't do anything right. I couldn't apply to internships the right way. I can't ( Read more... )

I am so fucking scared of:
-being in a big city all by myself.
-starting this internship.
-moving in with Kate's parents
-moving out of my apartment.
-not seeing Mark for four months.

Honestly, I don't even believe I'll be ok anymore.

Is there really no power in love at all? Is it actually possible to just decide to fall out of love with somebody? How do you do that? Just make the gaping emptiness of lose close up through pure force of will? This is crippling me and I know it's hurting him too... and yet, it's still stagnate and lonely and so, so terrible.

Great... my mother just informed that I have to "take sides" with her in my parents on going feud if I want her to keep funding me.

Real fucking mature.

I'm getting bored of being happy... ::sigh::

I haven't been sad in such a long time I don't even know what to do about it anymore. I can't even trace it back to any one reason either. It just is the way it is. I guess before I could blame it on loneliness or something, but now I'm just so upset I push away anything that could be a comfort ( Read more... )

I've said this before, but on a long enough time line everything you ever wanted comes true. And you know, I finally have everything I ever desired. These stupid, elementry expectations have been accomplished ( Read more... )

I've got everything I could want out of life and it's still pretty lame.