The Universe and I are not in Equilibrium
Argh.
I'm just very stressed lately. I constantly feel like an idiot. Folklore and Astronomy are going (mostly) well, but my physics classes make me die inside. I was all looking forward to them as well, since (at least in Particle Physics) I'm finally taking classes on (what I thought would be) my field after college. Who knows, now. I continually feel like the dumbest person in the class, and while I'm paying attention and frantically writing things down, I feel like I'm not actually learning. Which is true. All the explanations on the board don't seem to actually transfer into my head. The book doesn't help much either. Sigh.
I also feel like I'm always busy. Always worked up, always frustrated, always have something to do, even when I don't. This makes it very hard to relax. Even when I take time out to not do anything, I get upset at myself for... not doing anything. This weekend should be some fun (with Mage and Time Spiral Pre-release), but everything is so packed in that I don't know if I'm going to actually have a good time, or if I'm just going to worry about all those other things that need doing.
I'm just having a bad time right now. I find it hard to think good about myself because I feel I fail in just about everything - intelligence, personality, body. And I don't know what to do about any of it.
Ugh, so much homework to do. Hopefully I won't continue to procrastinate and actually get something done tonight.
I'm just very stressed lately. I constantly feel like an idiot. Folklore and Astronomy are going (mostly) well, but my physics classes make me die inside. I was all looking forward to them as well, since (at least in Particle Physics) I'm finally taking classes on (what I thought would be) my field after college. Who knows, now. I continually feel like the dumbest person in the class, and while I'm paying attention and frantically writing things down, I feel like I'm not actually learning. Which is true. All the explanations on the board don't seem to actually transfer into my head. The book doesn't help much either. Sigh.
I also feel like I'm always busy. Always worked up, always frustrated, always have something to do, even when I don't. This makes it very hard to relax. Even when I take time out to not do anything, I get upset at myself for... not doing anything. This weekend should be some fun (with Mage and Time Spiral Pre-release), but everything is so packed in that I don't know if I'm going to actually have a good time, or if I'm just going to worry about all those other things that need doing.
I'm just having a bad time right now. I find it hard to think good about myself because I feel I fail in just about everything - intelligence, personality, body. And I don't know what to do about any of it.
Ugh, so much homework to do. Hopefully I won't continue to procrastinate and actually get something done tonight.