Well, I don't do the 'I'm so fat' thing, but that's because I'm skinny by any standard you choose to use. On the whole I'm not fussed about my appearance and it rarely enters my mind or my conversation, but I do have occasional days of feeling like the ugly duckling, particularly now that I work somewhere that is (honestly) 75% tall, long haired well groomed women with perfect eyebrows. (The remaining 25% is divided roughly equally between men, and short haired women
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So...you're saying I should only use lines like "I like 'em with a little meat on their bones, heh heh heh..." if I punctuate it with an ass slap?
FTR, I've never been a huge fan of spending lots of time dealing with make up and buying clothes and the like, although I can certainly appreciate the appeal of making yourself look good.
Things may be different across the pond, too, as someone being skinny here is certainly not at all a criterion of exclusion for them also saying how fat they are. In fact, in some cases they might say it more often than someone with a more average body type.
But your point is well-taken: even if they couch things in terms of body type, it'll be a lot easier for me to just be honest about my attraction without continuing in that direction.
Speaking for my people...bakerlooFebruary 28 2008, 14:31:42 UTC
Everyone, regardless of gender, has some sort of body issue(s). You're right to point out that women tend to have them in a different way and they can be crippling. I do not think it is possible to find a person without body issues, but I think it is possible to find a person who is more comfortable with her body than other people. I think I have plenty of body issues, but when Aaron and I first started dating, I felt pretty good about how I looked. The secret no one told me: when someone else thinks you're pretty, you feel pretty. WHO KNEW
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that's better.spicysurpriseFebruary 28 2008, 18:24:02 UTC
I agree with a lot of this comment. Everyone has their own nice little cocktail of body issues. And it's easy to have well intentioned compliments can turn into something they just aren't meant to mean- and often by no fault of the complimentor!. So tricky is an excellent word here.
But the kind of compliments that work best for me, and that I remember the most, are not general ones like "You have a hot body" or "I like girls with curves" but more specific like "I love your (insert part of body) because (specific reason why). For example, "I love the curve of your waist because it's so smooth and nice to touch". It's concrete, it's clear that you've given some thought to the matter, and it can't easily be mistaken to mean something else.
also just for the record but I'm sure you have this covered- a balance of "your butt is awesome" type comments with "Your so incredibly smart" type (non-body) comments is always good.
I think it's perfectly realistic to find someone without (MAJOR) body image issues, but as sweetrush kind of illustrated with her reply, girls who are comfortable with their physical selves are usually ALSO comfortable doing things like wearing casual clothing, skipping the makeup and hairspray, etc., when they are in casual situations (like going to class or running errands or something). So, therefore, they blend in and are easy to miss if you're on the prowl for a "good-looking girl
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I love the fact that the words "the short answer" are nested firmly in the middle of that long-ass response. ;p
For the record, you are crazy. I have not noticed any of those things about your torso/shoulders/ass, but if you want to keep obsessing about them, go right ahead.
I'm not sure if I should be offended or not that you think I pick up women at the gym. But San Diego is kind of a weird place as far as that stuff is concerned (makeup/dressing up and the like) because it's the most superficial part of the country I've ever lived in.
Just to play Devil's Advocate, I have been involved with women who didn't dress up or put on make up because they disliked themselves so much that they didn't take any interest in their appearance. So it can go both ways, I think.
"Just to play Devil's Advocate, I have been involved with women who didn't dress up or put on make up because they disliked themselves so much that they didn't take any interest in their appearance. So it can go both ways, I think.
I was trying to say something like that up there in that randomness, but I guess it didn't come across very well. (Specifically when I mentioned that "lots of girls go around without makeup or dressed particularly nicely because they don't care enough about themselves to even TRY to "look nice.")
Also, I wouldn't say I obsess over the body parts I mentioned. I just make it a point to cover my shoulders and to wear long shirts most of the time so I don't have to worry about people seeing that stuff. LOL
Me not noticing them implies that they are there to be noticed. I would argue that they aren't. But this is the tricky game that body issues always engender: if someone says x, they're just being polite, it can't actually be true.
And yeah, I misread that statement as "they don't care about trying to look nice" or something like that, and thought it was a continuation of the previous thought.
You might also try yelling "EWW! GROSS! I CAN TOTALLY SEE YOUR RIBS! EAT SOMETHING, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" every time you encouter a skinny girl in your significant other's presence.
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FTR, I've never been a huge fan of spending lots of time dealing with make up and buying clothes and the like, although I can certainly appreciate the appeal of making yourself look good.
Things may be different across the pond, too, as someone being skinny here is certainly not at all a criterion of exclusion for them also saying how fat they are. In fact, in some cases they might say it more often than someone with a more average body type.
But your point is well-taken: even if they couch things in terms of body type, it'll be a lot easier for me to just be honest about my attraction without continuing in that direction.
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I think I might almost pay money to see you do that to someone. LOL
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For example, "I love the curve of your waste because it's so smooth and nice to touch".
I realize this is a typo and spellcheck won't catch these types of typos, but I laughed for a good five minutes. ^_^"
Also, I realize I have a penis (who knew?), so I think this is the only other way I can respond to this thread. :p
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But the kind of compliments that work best for me, and that I remember the most, are not general ones like "You have a hot body" or "I like girls with curves" but more specific like "I love your (insert part of body) because (specific reason why). For example, "I love the curve of your waist because it's so smooth and nice to touch". It's concrete, it's clear that you've given some thought to the matter, and it can't easily be mistaken to mean something else.
also just for the record but I'm sure you have this covered- a balance of "your butt is awesome" type comments with "Your so incredibly smart" type (non-body) comments is always good.
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I think it's perfectly realistic to find someone without (MAJOR) body image issues, but as sweetrush kind of illustrated with her reply, girls who are comfortable with their physical selves are usually ALSO comfortable doing things like wearing casual clothing, skipping the makeup and hairspray, etc., when they are in casual situations (like going to class or running errands or something). So, therefore, they blend in and are easy to miss if you're on the prowl for a "good-looking girl ( ... )
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For the record, you are crazy. I have not noticed any of those things about your torso/shoulders/ass, but if you want to keep obsessing about them, go right ahead.
I'm not sure if I should be offended or not that you think I pick up women at the gym. But San Diego is kind of a weird place as far as that stuff is concerned (makeup/dressing up and the like) because it's the most superficial part of the country I've ever lived in.
Just to play Devil's Advocate, I have been involved with women who didn't dress up or put on make up because they disliked themselves so much that they didn't take any interest in their appearance. So it can go both ways, I think.
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I was trying to say something like that up there in that randomness, but I guess it didn't come across very well. (Specifically when I mentioned that "lots of girls go around without makeup or dressed particularly nicely because they don't care enough about themselves to even TRY to "look nice.")
Also, I wouldn't say I obsess over the body parts I mentioned. I just make it a point to cover my shoulders and to wear long shirts most of the time so I don't have to worry about people seeing that stuff. LOL
Also, thank you for not noticing them. hahaha!
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And yeah, I misread that statement as "they don't care about trying to look nice" or something like that, and thought it was a continuation of the previous thought.
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