(no subject)
I just needed to collect my thoughts and offload a little...
Uhm ... Well, the past few weeks have been very... harsh. They only seem to be getting worse, but that may be from the glimmers of hope when things are okay for an evening--you know... right before they all go straight to hell...
Dad's been drinking. A Lot. And I mean one tequila two tequila three tequila floor drinking. He's never home and when he is by some miracle he's holed up in a corner in his room and won't talk to anyone. He's told mom he doesn't want to be married anymore. He's been going on dates with other women... lots of women. Says he's never been unfaithful (if you know what i mean). I don't know. Told me he's damn near fallen in love with one of them and he told that lady that... shes avoiding him now... hes been drinking even more ever since...
Mom, well, mom's crazier than ever. She keeps dragging me into the middle of this. Keeps trying to use me to talk to dad and get info on his life. I'm not telling her that shit. She blames dad for her not leaving the house. Says hes keeping her here ... says he wont let her go anywhere. I want to tell her hes her HUSBAND... not her FATHER. But this has gone on too long and she's beyond any hope of independence. Especially with this illness of hers. Just the other day she'd been complaining she wasn't feeling right. She worried herself into such a fit that she ran off and called an ambulance without telling me. They took her to the hospital. She later told me she thought she was having a heart attack...... She had the stomach flu... the same one i had the other week when i came home puking my guts out. That bill is going to suck. She hasn't left the apartment otherwise... since Thanksgiving.
I can't keep getting dragged into the middle of everything. It's killing me. There is no possible way I can do right by either of them. Honestly I don't even believe that it's any of my business anyway. I mean yea they're my parents and yea I love them but... this should be between the two of them. What is it that they say about never bringing children into the middle of a divorce? I'm not a child any longer, but I think the theory still applies... I'm just so worn down n worn out. Half the time I stay late at work talking to people just because I don't want to go home and have mom sob all over me. And the only time my brothers show any ounce of pity or care? ... when mom does something radical and stupid like go to the hospital on a whim. I wish I had that kind of opportunity to be so selfish.
I need to move out -sigh-
Uhm ... Well, the past few weeks have been very... harsh. They only seem to be getting worse, but that may be from the glimmers of hope when things are okay for an evening--you know... right before they all go straight to hell...
Dad's been drinking. A Lot. And I mean one tequila two tequila three tequila floor drinking. He's never home and when he is by some miracle he's holed up in a corner in his room and won't talk to anyone. He's told mom he doesn't want to be married anymore. He's been going on dates with other women... lots of women. Says he's never been unfaithful (if you know what i mean). I don't know. Told me he's damn near fallen in love with one of them and he told that lady that... shes avoiding him now... hes been drinking even more ever since...
Mom, well, mom's crazier than ever. She keeps dragging me into the middle of this. Keeps trying to use me to talk to dad and get info on his life. I'm not telling her that shit. She blames dad for her not leaving the house. Says hes keeping her here ... says he wont let her go anywhere. I want to tell her hes her HUSBAND... not her FATHER. But this has gone on too long and she's beyond any hope of independence. Especially with this illness of hers. Just the other day she'd been complaining she wasn't feeling right. She worried herself into such a fit that she ran off and called an ambulance without telling me. They took her to the hospital. She later told me she thought she was having a heart attack...... She had the stomach flu... the same one i had the other week when i came home puking my guts out. That bill is going to suck. She hasn't left the apartment otherwise... since Thanksgiving.
I can't keep getting dragged into the middle of everything. It's killing me. There is no possible way I can do right by either of them. Honestly I don't even believe that it's any of my business anyway. I mean yea they're my parents and yea I love them but... this should be between the two of them. What is it that they say about never bringing children into the middle of a divorce? I'm not a child any longer, but I think the theory still applies... I'm just so worn down n worn out. Half the time I stay late at work talking to people just because I don't want to go home and have mom sob all over me. And the only time my brothers show any ounce of pity or care? ... when mom does something radical and stupid like go to the hospital on a whim. I wish I had that kind of opportunity to be so selfish.
I need to move out -sigh-