i am not one to say i am "one of those" i am petty and vindictive. i am not proud of this -- i am human and humans are stupid creatures. possibly more so than any other BECAUSE of free will and thought. i keep going because i have to. there is no reason there is now rhyme. i must. i am not trying to offer nuggets of wisdom, just a fellow compatriate in this life that most often makes no sense. you are welcome to call if you want. i can listen well even if i can't help. 3238993394. gwinethpenelope
thanks for the compatriatism. I do have a friend that could listen, but really this was for my journal, as a reminder in case I ever get to a place where I'm not bothered by things so much, and for whatever readers out there that refuse to express the same things in their journal for fear of sounding weak/ill/whatever.
I see that you're an LA person. I'd have to say it was my time in LA that caused me to lose most of my naive idealism. I'm only somewhat thankful for that.
It all sucks as much as you want to make it. Wehn I returned back to Atlanta with vague ideas of merging IT withju conservation, I just wanted to slow down time as much as possible. I wanted last week to feel like last month, and I counted the days until I died. Bought a house, learned waht real anxiety was about, and only broke out of it whn I realized that a days action can return good s that last for years. Anxiety's still there, becasue I have a month of days actions to put into my life, but I know that if I move, my life will improve. No is compelling, the abnegation of responsibilty and obligation, but ion order to get the advantages of yes I have to say yes against all logc and reason. Pessimism's easy, and Passive Agressive (my flavor of this life) is even easier, Optimism and assertion are harder, but get me better. I'm coming at this from the realization that I've been a shithead to the one I love, and I need to do better for our sakes
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I do have a friend that could listen, but really this was for my journal, as a reminder in case I ever get to a place where I'm not bothered by things so much, and for whatever readers out there that refuse to express the same things in their journal for fear of sounding weak/ill/whatever.
I see that you're an LA person. I'd have to say it was my time in LA that caused me to lose most of my naive idealism. I'm only somewhat thankful for that.
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I am an la person now. as in baton rouge. i miss los angeles so much though.
even funnier 'cause somehow this was posted to you not wasteddream.
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