Days rolled on...
Hey guys!
First of all, Merry Christmas! I hope you all had wonderful days and that it went way better than mine did. xD
So I got something wonderful for Christmas and actually got to open it a few days early and it is wonderful. Here is a picture of me with my amazing new bass:
His name is Sherlock. [:
Here's a picture of him and his amp:
He's a Peavet bass, and the amp is a Fender. It's set on ONE right now, and it's WAY louder than the amp I had before. Sherlock has such a nice deep sound, I love it so much. I was playing it earlier today and seriously forgot all my troubles, I was so happy. I want to play it right now to calm myself down and just learn a couple more songs, but it's too late now, with how loud the amp is. xD
I might have sort of a gig, too.[: Not like, with a full band or anything. Just me on bass, for a friend's sweet 16 in early April. So I gotta get to work learning more songs! Hahaha. I have to get them down so good that I can do them with my fucking eyes closed, I'm not going to make a fool of myself or let myself down. I'm so nervous, but at the same time I am so excited and so fucking ready for an audience. I may record some of it so you guys can finally see the progress I've made. [:
In the past week I've gotten so much lotion I don't even know what to do with it anymore. xD But I also received my Simple Plan shirt that I ordered! It says "I got a heart on for you." I love it and I wore it to dinner today. We went out to a Chinese place and then over to my sort-of sister's place. Her dog Dawkins tried to fucking hump me x'DD But yeah. Tomorrow I think I'm going to a music shop to get supplies for Sherlock. I'm excited. [:
But...today has really been a hard day for me. I normally go with my foster mother to deliver her newspaper routes, but she left me here to sleep this morning. I woke up around 4am like "AREN'T I SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEPLACE..." and stuff, and then I realized and was like "OH SHIT DX" So I called her and she told me that she'd just decided to let me sleep since it was a really early paper and stuff, and I guess I'd looked so tired yesterday. She told me to go back to bed and she would be home within the next two hours.
So I decided to stay up for a little bit and try to get a little bit of writing in for my friends Vera and Mollie. It's going to be a lovely story and I can't wait to finish it and show it to them. ;D Of course I'll post it on here too, maybe you guys will like it.I love how it's turning out so far. I'm excited. [: But anyways. So I stayed up for like 30 minutes and didn't really get far on it because I couldn't focus. And then as I was going to sleep...I just couldn't stop thinking about my mom. I ended up just crying. And talking to her. I told her I was sorry I didn't react fast enough, that I couldn't save her, that we had been fighting the day she died, that I was such an asshole to her so often. I told her I still can't believe she's gone. It's just like I'm so detached from everything. I have so many material things now but it doesn't replace her at all or even begin to. Even Sherlock. I mean...he makes me feel so alive again, but even he can't make the combination of numbness and pain go away for long. He does help a hell of a lot though. Sherlock, David, and my best friend Holly are the only three things that can make me really feel better at all most of the time; mostly Holly though. I love them more than anything else on the whole planet. If I lost Holly or Sherlock right now, I'm pretty sure that would be the end of my sanity and a good part of my self control. If I lost my best friend or the thing that's going to give me my future...I KNOW I would break.
So...thank you for being my best friend and putting up with me for so long, Holly. I know I'm a real fucking pain in the ass sometimes, and I truly apologize for every bit of it, and I hope you'll forgive me. But thank you, so much, for every single thing. Every single time you've been here for me, every single time you've listened to me vent even though you were having your own difficulties. Thank you for being there for me last month when I came home late and a wreck after my mom died. Just...thank you for everything, and maybe someday I'll think of something that can repay every moment of happiness you've given me and every time you've helped me. You will always be my best friend no matter what, and I promise I'll always be here for you. I love you so damn much, with every last bit of my heart<3
I hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas. It's time for me to go try to write and go to bed though. Hopefully I'll have chapter one up sometime this week.
Goodnight!
Xxx
Christie
First of all, Merry Christmas! I hope you all had wonderful days and that it went way better than mine did. xD
So I got something wonderful for Christmas and actually got to open it a few days early and it is wonderful. Here is a picture of me with my amazing new bass:
His name is Sherlock. [:
Here's a picture of him and his amp:
He's a Peavet bass, and the amp is a Fender. It's set on ONE right now, and it's WAY louder than the amp I had before. Sherlock has such a nice deep sound, I love it so much. I was playing it earlier today and seriously forgot all my troubles, I was so happy. I want to play it right now to calm myself down and just learn a couple more songs, but it's too late now, with how loud the amp is. xD
I might have sort of a gig, too.[: Not like, with a full band or anything. Just me on bass, for a friend's sweet 16 in early April. So I gotta get to work learning more songs! Hahaha. I have to get them down so good that I can do them with my fucking eyes closed, I'm not going to make a fool of myself or let myself down. I'm so nervous, but at the same time I am so excited and so fucking ready for an audience. I may record some of it so you guys can finally see the progress I've made. [:
In the past week I've gotten so much lotion I don't even know what to do with it anymore. xD But I also received my Simple Plan shirt that I ordered! It says "I got a heart on for you." I love it and I wore it to dinner today. We went out to a Chinese place and then over to my sort-of sister's place. Her dog Dawkins tried to fucking hump me x'DD But yeah. Tomorrow I think I'm going to a music shop to get supplies for Sherlock. I'm excited. [:
But...today has really been a hard day for me. I normally go with my foster mother to deliver her newspaper routes, but she left me here to sleep this morning. I woke up around 4am like "AREN'T I SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEPLACE..." and stuff, and then I realized and was like "OH SHIT DX" So I called her and she told me that she'd just decided to let me sleep since it was a really early paper and stuff, and I guess I'd looked so tired yesterday. She told me to go back to bed and she would be home within the next two hours.
So I decided to stay up for a little bit and try to get a little bit of writing in for my friends Vera and Mollie. It's going to be a lovely story and I can't wait to finish it and show it to them. ;D Of course I'll post it on here too, maybe you guys will like it.I love how it's turning out so far. I'm excited. [: But anyways. So I stayed up for like 30 minutes and didn't really get far on it because I couldn't focus. And then as I was going to sleep...I just couldn't stop thinking about my mom. I ended up just crying. And talking to her. I told her I was sorry I didn't react fast enough, that I couldn't save her, that we had been fighting the day she died, that I was such an asshole to her so often. I told her I still can't believe she's gone. It's just like I'm so detached from everything. I have so many material things now but it doesn't replace her at all or even begin to. Even Sherlock. I mean...he makes me feel so alive again, but even he can't make the combination of numbness and pain go away for long. He does help a hell of a lot though. Sherlock, David, and my best friend Holly are the only three things that can make me really feel better at all most of the time; mostly Holly though. I love them more than anything else on the whole planet. If I lost Holly or Sherlock right now, I'm pretty sure that would be the end of my sanity and a good part of my self control. If I lost my best friend or the thing that's going to give me my future...I KNOW I would break.
So...thank you for being my best friend and putting up with me for so long, Holly. I know I'm a real fucking pain in the ass sometimes, and I truly apologize for every bit of it, and I hope you'll forgive me. But thank you, so much, for every single thing. Every single time you've been here for me, every single time you've listened to me vent even though you were having your own difficulties. Thank you for being there for me last month when I came home late and a wreck after my mom died. Just...thank you for everything, and maybe someday I'll think of something that can repay every moment of happiness you've given me and every time you've helped me. You will always be my best friend no matter what, and I promise I'll always be here for you. I love you so damn much, with every last bit of my heart<3
I hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas. It's time for me to go try to write and go to bed though. Hopefully I'll have chapter one up sometime this week.
Goodnight!
Xxx
Christie