Gift for szgrey: The Next Level

[xf_santa_mod]

Title: The Next Level
Author: estella_c
Rating: Gen
Warnings: none
Gift for: szgrey

Summary: The Lonegunmen have one final mission.

Comments

[wendelah1]

I love this. It's stuck in the middle here with so many other goodies that it's getting ignored but damn, it's a wonderful story, estella_c, a perfect coda for the Lonegunmen. It crackles with wit. There is not a word wasted here.

You've nailed Frohike's voice, but all of the Gunmen come through loud and clear. Scully is perfect. Did I mention Frohike?

“Well, Mulder,” Scully responded with a bit of bite, “I must catch up on my reading now that we are trying to avoid the people we once worked for.” She was wrapping the cooperative animal in one of my flannel shirts that had avoided laundering for months. She instinctively knew we were not vet, vitamins, carrier types.

And this ending.

“Don't go yet,” I almost said. Mulder was talking, but Scully was gazing in our direction, smiling and cuddling. Oh, Scully

[estella_c]

You are so sweet. Of course, that's your job ;-)

[estella_c]

In the interest of painful honesty, I must pay for rereading my compliments by pointing out that in that almost-last paragraph Frohike referred to himself in the third person. Someone should have caught that. Me, you'll say. But I figure if you lure in a beta you get to accuse: it's all her fault!!

However, Wendy is such a class act that I wish that she lived next door and we could argue story structure and social philosophy in person. Plus the cooking thing.

Oh: look for Wendy's Scully birthday celebration in February. It has some fancy title.

[wendelah1]

Someone should have caught that. Me, you'll say. But I figure if you lure in a beta you get to accuse: it's all her fault!!

You mean this bit:

But they did, they did go. And as the lock clicked a wash of alien light licked the walls, pale as flame on a sunny day. It wreathed the lair. It did not remind him of Beetlejuice.

“The next--” Byers began, and stopped talking. No one said anything. There was nothing more to say.

I assumed the shift to third person (omniscient) POV was done for effect, to show that Elvis had left the building, so to speak. I think it works better this way but I can always go in and edit it.

[maybe_amanda]

What a lovely and fitting end for The Gunmen. (Byers wanted to name Jasper Jean-Paul!)

And this made me cackle with glee:

“You miss sex?” I snarked.
Silence.
“Well, I miss the possibility.”

Bwahahaha! Great story!

[estella_c]

Thank you, MA. Your opinion is valued. (Sorry, Wen, personal friends get back-handed.)

[idella]

This. This was completely unexpected. I really like it. Funny as all get out, and touching, too. So many good lines and one-liners. I chortled. I was moved. Great story.

[estella_c]

I am moved as well. Very new at this. Thanks.

[elis_xf]

This is just perfect. It is just so honest and it seems to have just gushed out in perfect harmony. I absolutely adore it. If my cat didn't already have a name I'd call him Jasper! (or Jean-Paul, now that I think about it.) :P

This is definitely my favourite part:
“Don't go yet,” I almost said. Mulder was talking, but Scully was gazing in our direction, smiling and cuddling. Oh, Scully.

Oh, indeed!

[estella_c]

Thank you, my dear. I'll give yours a read as soon as all these family members stop stripping my wallpaper.

[szgrey]

Thank you so much, estella_c! This is a delightful story- funny and touching and beautiful in the details. And surprising- as idella said, completely unexpected- wonderfully so. Something like this never would have occurred to me, despite the clearly established TXF canon tradition of Christmastime ghost stories, and I've always found the most exciting gifts to be those I didn't even know I wanted. I love it. :)

I have to ask, did you see that I was skeptical about first-person narration and take it as a challenge? If so, you succeeded marvelously- Frohike has such a distinctive voice and you nailed it. I'm convinced, and thoroughly charmed. I love his view of Mulder (He kept fish as a defense against getting a cat, which would take actual nurturing, or at least an occasional ear-fondle- of course) and the wistful way he looks at Scully, and his perspective on his partners in crime journalism. All three of the Gunmen's characters come through clearly, their semi-combative repartee rings true, and the end... the end is perfection

[estella_c]

Wow, what a beautifully written appreciation. I am humbled. I've always felt that fiction was not my forte, but it really did come rather easily. And I indulged myself by putting in "some of my favorite things:" cats, Jasper Fforde, Beetlejuice. I was forced into a semester of Existentialism aeons ago, so the Sartre was kind of showing off. They apparently thought it was okay to skip Plato.

I found it easy to write in Frohikes's voice, but I doubt a novel would be such a cinch.

This is proof that a writer often doesn't know what s/he's done until a good critic points it out. Sincere thanks.