(no subject)
Slipping back into the GAP again
I'm alive when you're t o u c h i n g me,
Alive when you're shoving me down
But I'd trade it all
For just a little...
PEACE.of.MIND.
Well I'm home. Vermont is a beautiful state, its countryside right out of a winterland story book. I think I was the only one who had a decent time on the family vacation though, which is disappointing. My mom had a headache and hated the cold. My dad waited frantically at the base of the ski mountain, the lords prayer probably running through his head at lightening speed. And my brother tore a ligament in his knee getting off the ski lift. I did most of my runs alone...I didn't feel the same sanctity and liberation I do when I'm on the annual Laura/Steph roadtrip. Instead I felt kinda lonely and pressured by my parents, only because they know nothing about skiing and through my own mentally unstable reasoning felt like everything that happened on the mountain was my responsibility or my fault including my brother's injury (which was purely accidental). We couldn't sleep at the hotel either, between snoring, watching the Grudge, and not feeling good. I'm sure if youd taped us for a sleep study you would see us tossing around and switching beds at all hours of the night.
Well it took us about 6 hours to get home. I was glad when I did just because everyone seemed so miserable and I couldn't wait to be in my own bed- and especially talk to Alex since we didn't talk once while I was away..... but when I got home, for some reason nothing was heartwarming or welcoming and it took me till 1 to fall asleep. Fucking nerves.
Today I woke up around 11. Got my lazy ass up to run errands around 2:30. Gave a half ass attempt at my Chem project and got some things for lauras/julias new years party this friday. I guess its supposed to be formal. Which requires "nice clothing" or something commonly known as a "dress", which I don't own. So I'm wearing my traditional punked out plaid skirt and leggings and they'll have to suck it up. Other than that, Ive been sitting around bored and wishing to communicate with my boyfriend. Which hasn't really happened yet.
Now I'm really sick of talking. I guess I'm just 'looking forward to tomorrow'. I get to see Julia and my friends which will be a beautiful thing and most likely not a let down. Now I'm just gonna fuck off and pretend to tolerate all of this bullshit.