straight edge and sex

[xfifthcolumnx]

the discussion about leather and being vegan kind of touched on this subject. i didn't want to get into it there (to avoid confusing issues), but i feel like its worth thinking about. probably because i think my take on it is different than your average sxe kid. well, i guess my take is that sex shouldn't be a part of straight edge at all. why

Comments

[askheychris]

ill admit, creep your LJ from time to time. i agree with a solid 80% of what you discuss on here, which is far more than most people in this community...the 20% coming mostly from how you deal with your ex-gfs, but hey, we all have different warfare tactics.

i saw the heading for this post and thought to myself, "aw shit, here we go. hes going to say some shit that im going to feel the need to debate with." then possibly get my ass handed to me because in my book, you've always known your shit. but in obviously in a more articulate manner, you echo my sentiments exactly. there is absolutely no way being involved with this community for any extended period of time that we all havent been accused of "not being straight edge" for our sexual involvements.
i think what you posted is what ive been trying to articulate for years.

would you mind if i re-posted this?

-deadxstop

[xfifthcolumnx]

hey dude, thanks for the comment.
repost if you like!

hope all is well.

i'm interested on your take on how i deal with my ex-gfs haha.

xvx

[runrevolt]

You're not fuckin straight edge! Don't try and re-define the label to make yourself feel better

[runrevolt]

In summary..get yer groove on, consensually. fuck the haters.

[xfifthcolumnx]

i can say that i think the "no promiscuous sex" part is actually good for a great number of people that are straight edge, especially younger people. it makes a lot of sense whether it lines up rationally or not. i think for younger people the generic straight edge message about sex is pretty positive, i know it definitely was for me.

i also think straight ideology doesn't take into account some things, like adult life for instance, or the nuances of human sexuality, it was created by a fairly small group of individuals in their late teens, and to hear Ian speak of it, wasn't even as strict as what most people interpret it today.

i feel like you may have to explain the third paragraph better, i'm not sure i'm getting your point.

[runrevolt]

Yea, i got kinda distracted and vague on that comment.

anyways, i agree that it is a helpful message to the teens as well. i don't know if i'd go as far as saying it is a "sex positive" message, but that might be my catholic guilt skewing my perspective.

[ryansmithxvx]

i have a similar but different understanding. there was an interview done with ian and lyle where they said that the point of 'don't fuck' was to include things that control your thinking to the point of making you unproductive, irrational, out of control, etc. they said that following one's sexual urges around and allowing that to control one's mind was the point, and for that reason should be avoided. i don't think we should say that sxe means no sex or only committed sex with just your ultra-serious partner, but i do think that it means not using social relationships--whether sexual or not--as your form of liberation, enjoyment, empowerment, etc. in the same way that you must be your own master mentally--thus avoiding all intoxicants through drugs/alcohol--so you should be your own master sexually and physically--not having a dependency. so, i guess i'm saying 'yes' and 'no' to parts of your argument. i guess i see it through the same lens in which i see how sxe should naturally lead people to vegetarianism/veganism--not polluting

[xfifthcolumnx]

while that may be true (the interview) from my understanding Ian (and much of the early straight edge scene) also looked at drinking and smoking that way.

i mean in the re-recorded version ian clearly says "this is no set of rules".

my issue is that the principles of abstinence should be applied coherently and consistently or they shouldn't apply to sex at all.

and given that sex doesn't really fit with the other aspects of straight edge i think it should just be left out.

[ryansmithxvx]

yeah, i realize the 'i'm not telling you what to do' aspect

[xfifthcolumnx]

i agree with what you are saying, except with te idea that it should be included in the definition of what is and is not "straight edge".

no one in the straight edge community is making value judgments about other things with a similar effect on people's lives. like no one is going to say someone sold out or isn't straight edge if they are obsessed with watching porn, or obsessed with playing WoW twelve hours a day.

obviously those would be destructive and affect your mental state and well-being, but so do lots of things that aren't covered in what is straight edge.

being anti-obsession is just common sense to me. unless we want to include all possibilities like that into our definition, then i think the emphasis should be taken off of sexuality. i mean conceivably someone who stayed home all day and jerked off for twelve ours would be considered more straight edge than someone who just met someone he/she really liked and had "casual" sex, even though one fits the description and the other doesn't.

[anonymous]

You don't know me but I was reading this and I thought it was a pretty good discussion on the topic. I, myself, am not sxe - however many of my friends are. I think for the most part - many sxe kids follow the sex thing with their own perspective on the issue (like many will only have sex with those they care about - whether or not they are in a relationship with that person - they won't simply sleep with strangers or whoever wants it

[xefeon]

Okay. Random comment