Comments | xfreshbreadx: Dangers of an unoccupied mind

xfreshbreadx

Dangers of an unoccupied mind

Jun 14, 2005 15:59

Here is a demonstration of my line of thinking ( Read more... )

Comments 6

anonymous June 15 2005, 02:19:26 UTC

More to come (i have to run out to the gym before it closes), but did you get my e-mail??

This quite a serendipitous, albeit unfortunate, turn of events for both of us. I have seriously been questioning myself lately too. I will post my thoughts later tonight.

I wish I was in NY right now, cuz there are earthquakes in CA and I'm left without support.

Only Sith Deal in Absolutes anonymous June 15 2005, 05:41:23 UTC

Alright - let me preface this with the warning that this will probably be long-winded and scattered. With that said ( ... )

Only Sith Deal in Absolutes (con't) anonymous June 15 2005, 05:42:19 UTC

It seems like a more relaxed approach, and I think it would be helpful for both of us, let me know what you think though. I just think we've been too in-depth, to dreamy, and too focused on how things should be. I think I've been arrogant, thinking I knew how a relationship should be. But like I was saying, we have this idealistic idea of how a relationship should be and we're probably trying to construct it too often and with the wrong people - for me, I think it's because I'm being arrogant and ignorant, and being deaf to what people are trying to tell me.

Re: Only Sith Deal in Absolutes (con't) anonymous June 15 2005, 14:17:30 UTC

K I just wanted to say that I don't think you are being arrogant or ignorant at all. You "knowing" what a relationship should be is 100% fine. You should know what you want and you shouldn't settle for anything less or let anyone dictate what your relationship will be like. If you want a girl who is A or B or C then you should seek her out and not stop until you find her. When "it" is right the girl will see relationships exactly the same way you do. Of course all relationships require compromise and change but you shouldn't have to change your fundamental wants and needs. When the right person comes along I guarantee things will be easy and will flow naturally. Akward conversations about where the relationship is heading or what sort of relationship you have will not even be necessary. You will both be on the same page, anything else is just forced and probaby doomed. Keep your head up K because great love is hard to find and when you do find it it probably won't be on a blind date or at a club. You can't rush greatness.

anonymous June 15 2005, 14:08:36 UTC

To elaborate on what K was saying, I think you have a few options here ( ... )

anonymous June 15 2005, 17:08:05 UTC

I would say go with 1, 2 or 3, only because those are the three that I think have "no expectations." The problem with 4, and this is a newfound problem for me, is that that's what I've been telling myself all these years and I just don't think it's right - my heart can be selfish, irrational, impractical, and worst of all, misguided. I find that generally there are two voices, typically called the heart and the mind, and the heart is this idealistic, romantic voice trying to convince you that if you let it bellow forth then all will be ok and everyone will understand, the mind is telling you that 1) what you are upset over is really not a big deal 2) you don't really need to do anything, you can just be patient and 3) stop talking, start listening.

Usually my heart is telling me to do #3 because it's hurt and my mind is saying "you should know better - either do #1 or #2" depending on how you feel. I think some form of #1, deattachment, is best - again, just my opinion.