OH MY GOSH!
remember that suicide note so many of you commented on? ok well scratch the whole billy part. I GOT A LETTER BACK FROM BILLY!!! AND IT WAS A GOOD LETTER!!! here, i'll type what it says.
Hey Lindsay!!
OMGosh! I don't even know what to say! :-) Lindsay, I could never stop thinking about you either. Whenever I think, youre in my thoughts; whenever i dream, youre in my dreams; whenever im training, im thinking of you! i nevr had a g/f...i didnt even come close, i think i tried to make you jealous once by telling you "i may have one"but i didnt. Lindsay, I know what you meant by that quote. and yes, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! i love you even more now especially b/c im kind of a loner in my platoon. yeah, theyre my family, but when were training. not in personal time. :-( The only person who writes me is my mom. I told her to give you my address..that is - if you'd ever call again. I didnt think i'd ever see a letter from you, but when i saw your return address, OMGosh! All 44 of my "battle buddies" noticed immediately. no they didnt know about you before but now they do and i assure you its nothing bad. I guarantee it. You dont know how horrible and lonely it is over here. I realized how stupid i was and how horrible i was to you. im sorry for the heartache and stress I in turn caused you. theres been countless times where i wanted to quit and come home just to talk to you, hear your voice but i also remember you have a boyfriend... i still have the urge to come home but...nevermind. anyways, thank you so much for writing me! you dont know what it means to me to see someone is thinking about me. you dont know what it's like here. a letter addressed to you is like the greatest gift in the world. wow, im freakin crying, LOL. i thought i lost you, i thought when i came home I wouldnt be able to talk to that girl that lit the spark in me that kept me going. i miss you so much. the day you called on my last day i was actually on my way out. i was trying to cancel phone lines so i wouldnt have bills to pay while i was away. Im sorry for being a dick that day. it was all my ego. i didnt want to accept that i loved someone who didnt love me back. now that i think of it, what do you mean when you said you love me? now adays that can mean many things. Lindsay, please keep writing me! everyday if you want! i'd love the letters, especially because theyre from someone i love. send me more pics too! i want your pics on my locker lol. i unfortuneately have to go but i wanna say that i love you lindsay. I always have, and always will. I wouldnt want it any other way.
Love Always, Billy.
P.s. listen to dashboard confessionals "vindicated". look at it as if i was singing it...