I will always love you my Billy Bear

[xgothicgoddessx]

On Sunday morning the greatest person who i loved past away. I love you Bill!!! I will always love you, and its so hard to write this out in words. I knew from the moment i knew something was wrong when you where tossing and turning in my bed that you wanted me to be awake to help you. And i did. I was by your side and i knew you were so scared

Comments

[eatmyinsomnia]

hi lauren. this is kelly rawson from highschool. i hope you don't mind me leaving a message in your livejournal. but i have to tell you that i heard about what happened and have been thinking about you all week. you are in my thoughts, and i want you to know that if you need to talk to someone, i will talk. i lost my father in january. although they are two different things, we both lost someone who we loved very much, and it is very hard. i will be glad to talk to you if you need anyone to talk to.
<3
kelly

[xgothicgoddessx]

Thankyou for your concerns but i will say what i have told everyone. "The one thing i want, i cannot have." and that is my reality and that is what i have to face, and it is the hardest now. Thankyou for your concerns they mean allot to me.
-Lauren

[eatmyinsomnia]

anytime. i know its hard. its very hard. and sadly enough, it gets harder for a little bit, then the pain isn't as much. its been 8 months since my dad was taken from me - and still, i cry myself to sleep many nights, but not every night like it was in the beginning. its helps when you have people around you. try to have friends around you at all times. i don't want to sound like a zoloft ad, but maybe seeing a therapist will help. i wish i had gone to see one sooner, because i have only seen her once, and i think maybe it would help if i saw her more often. anyhow, enough about my problems. i hope you are coping - as hard as it is. i have aol instant messanger, if you ever want to talk. i just have friends on my buddy list only - so if you have it, give me your screen name and we can talk more. talk to you soon. just remember, reguardless of the fact that we never really got the chance to talk in high school - i do care. and thats honesty. talk to you soon.

[xgothicgoddessx]

I am trying to get out and yes it helps but i have a major whole inside me now which i cannot fill, bc that was what bill did for me, he is my world and its so hard, as for theorpy, i am considering it. Thanx again.
-Lauren

*hugs*

[dizzygothgrl]

Wow Lauren. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. And I know that we are not close anymore, but I would like to be if you are willing to do that. You have my number, call me, I drive now so I can come up and chill if you want. I wrote a little something in my LJ for Bill. But I posted one of his favorite songs to sing, and my favorite song to listen to that he always sang around me. I love you girl, don't ever forget that. I am probably going to call you tomorrow after school. Add me to your friend list and I will add you back.
~Jessyca