New Fic: 507 Gapfiller: Kaleidoscope

[xhaleslowly]

Wow. Talk about bittersweet. 507 was one of the strongest episodes of the season. But...

*sigh*

Well. I guess we knew it was coming :(

So... I have something a little different this week. Three POVs, all second person (thanks burnitbackwards for the encouragement!). And much love to ragingpixie for the read-through. *kisses*

No spoilers beyond 507.

Comments

[smartwomn1]

it was an open drawer, nothing more
Geeze, I hate that thought.
And in this text you're right.
Which makes me hate it all the more.

I thought every sentence in this episode was perfect. (Except I hated the closing song -- not the song, but the cover. Completely wrong tone/beat for me. Using the song, itself, was brillient.)

As I always, say, you're the bomb, babe.

LeAnn

[xhaleslowly]

Hey LeAnn... yeah, that line about the empty drawer... I couldn't help myself. I just picked up on Justin's line from the previous week ("... you said the offer still stands and to put my stuff in the drawer...") - he put so much more meaning into that empty drawer than Brian did. I think he really did think it was more than "just a drawer". But Brian couldn't (wouldn't) see it as any more than that.

Thanks so much for the feedback - and yeah, it was a fantastic episode, you're right :)

the next day...

[smartwomn1]

Ethan,

NICE icon on your reply, above.

I've been thinking about this piece all day (as I drive around Central California) and I have this to say...

Even tho' you've written some amazing stuff in this piece (maybe like this episode) you have managed to turn more than one phrase that will become a touchstone in QAF B-J lore.

Since I misquoted it above, let me say that my favorite line in this piece -- and maybe of your entire library (!!) -- is

it was areally only an empty drawer, nothing more, nothing less. (I like it better without the 'nothing less' bit, it's even more haunting.)

I also LOVE without measure:

showered and shaved in all the right places...this is soooo cute

opened up that drawer, opened up your home, and even opened up your heart...super nice with the partner sentence from Justin's head

a million 'I love yous' and he wants only one...this totally KILLS me.

Which reminds me (after you killed me, above), I have something for you. e-mail me, will 'ya? brianandjustinfan@yahoo.com

Re: the next day...

[xhaleslowly]

Hey LeAnn

Icon is by paddies of course. It's a *nice* one, isn't it :) I'm hoping she'll make some new icons with that new promo pic of Randy that's floating around :P

Anyway, I wanted to thank you again for coming back with your favourite lines... it truly is so great to hear what works for people. And often it's different lines that different people pick up on. I find it interesting as a writer and it helps me grow and strengthen my writing. So thank you for that :)

And I'll be sending you an email in a couple minutes, as requested!

Waaaa! Beautiful & just heart breaking.

[viola69]

Wonderfully written- the changing povs really work well. :'-)

Re: Waaaa! Beautiful & just heart breaking.

[xhaleslowly]

the changing povs really work well

Thank you for this!! I was nervous about throwing in the third POV, but I'm so glad to hear it worked for you :)

[ugipinky]

I seldom shed a tear but you did it to me with this one ... you brilliantly able to capture the insight of each character. heart breaking and very beautifully written ...

and I'm still choking >,< ...

[xhaleslowly]

So sorry for the tears... but thank you so much for this. It's just so great to receive :)

[vedaprophet]

oh i really needed this. it's exactly what i think is missing from this episode, as good as the episode was. i have been struggling with justin this season, i know he has to feel this way and we just couldn't see it! :(( but, we *need* to see it, a little. we need to believe that it's hard for justin too, you know?

And he did find you, kissed every inch of your skin, tongued your ass, then covered your body with his and slid his hard cock inside you, filled you, fucked you, loved you in the only way he knows how.

God, so fucking brilliant, but SO SAD, OMG! :(( :(( :((

and just, the whole thing really. but especially, ESPECIALLY the justin parts!! Thank you SO MUCH for this, you rock!! ♥ xoxoxo

[xhaleslowly]

it's exactly what i think is missing from this episode, as good as the episode was.

That's just so great to get, thank you :) I loved the episode too, despite what happened in it, and I didn't want to ruin it or go overboard by trying to overanalyze the whole damn thing. But as much as they did give us in it, I wanted to see a little more. It seemed so obvious that Justin wasn't saying or doing the things he really was feeling - he did seem a little shut off and I imagined so much more going on beneath the surface. There's no way he'd "fall out of love" with Brian so quickly - I think he left him because he *does* love him so much. And I think he'd rather salvage what they do have rather than risk losing everything :(

Anyway, thank you so much for this :)

[kimberbaby]

But as much as they did give us in it, I wanted to see a little more. It seemed so obvious that Justin wasn't saying or doing the things he really was feeling - he did seem a little shut off and I imagined so much more going on beneath the surface. There's no way he'd "fall out of love" with Brian so quickly - I think he left him because he *does* love him so much. And I think he'd rather salvage what they do have rather than risk losing everything :(

Thank you for putting it into words. This is it exactly!!! I will force myself to watch the episode as a whole this weekend. So far, I have just browsed through it. The anticipation of the pain, especially after reading your fic, makes me take a step back. What would we do without you, Ethan? You give us clarity and hope. ox

[xhaleslowly]

You give us clarity and hope.

Thanks for that sweetie :) I'm an eternal optimist, what can I say?? lol!

Do be sure to watch the episode in it's entirety though. It's the best one this season so far, despite what happens in it. Great acting, great dialogue - it's pretty powerful.

[skyypyng]

OMG Ethan, I thought I was in pain after watching this ep, but this pretty much put me over the edge with the sensitivity you described happening behind the scenes.

Turns out it really was only an empty drawer, nothing more, nothing less. I felt such hope and happiness at the end of 502, but turns out this is the reality and starting to cry now.

You want to ask 'why won't you'? But the answer is clear, so you don't bother bringing it up. This line hurt so much I can’t even tell you. *cries so many big tears, maybe enough to overflow Niagara Falls*

You realize he'd rather be alone and who he is, than be with you and pretend to be someone he isn't. This is definitely Justin’s big bite of reality sandwich. Tears are making sandwich soggy.

…you just want to set him and yourself free. Justin’s maturity beyond his years still has me weeping uncontrollably.

A million I love you's. And all Justin wants is one. Unbelievably, you made me feel compassion for Mikey through his compassion.

And the sad truth of it is... no matter

[xhaleslowly]

God, sky... thank you so much for pulling out all those lines. It's so tremendous for me as a writer to see what worked and your reaction to them. And I'm so sorry for the tears and pain in this... but there just wasn't any other way :( I didn't know how else to tell this story... the only thing I could do was try and offer some insight into what I felt was maybe going on behind the scenes... to show that there is so much love there, and that it truly is the basis of why they're leaving each other.

I know it's completely hokey, but the thing that kept going through my head was that old quote... "If you love something, set it free...". That's the way I feel about both of them right now.

Thank you... as always.

[skyypyng]

Pain and grieving are a natural process of loss. CowLip did not provide that, so I was left with anger.

"If you love something, set it free...". That's the way I feel about both of them right now. I think Brian has always felt that way about Justin. This is the first reciprocal since Justin became a man, where Justin feels the same.

Your story provided the missing catharsis. I really had tears pouring down my cheeks when I read it. And now, I actually feel better. You are very talented.

[xhaleslowly]

I think Brian has always felt that way about Justin. This is the first reciprocal since Justin became a man, where Justin feels the same.

Yeah, good point. I never actually thought of it that way till you just mentioned it. Brian has always been ready to let Justin make his own decisions about "where he wants to be". But now Justin is cutting the cord for both of them because he thinks he's doing what's best. And ultimately, he may be right. But we'll have to watch the rest of the seaso to find out :)

Thanks as always for your generous words!