(no subject)
i wish that there weren't SO many places to live in the world. so then people didn't leave, and weren't so
steph lefttttt me y'all!! :( :( :( i'm like so about 2 go throw upp. i can't explain anything. i absolutely LOVE this girl, and i have no clue what i'm going to be without her because every day she was my positive influence just in life. her views were so different from everyone elses... and funny how i never really open myself up, but if i could, it'd be 2 her. n i totally sound like such a les right now but this sucks SO bad. Just to know people can leave so fast, just like that.. i'ts so so so true that you don't know what you have until you lose it. me n her had the most strangest friendship. I mean we used to fight over the most ridiclous stuff but at the same time we like were cool with each other. and we arnt like one of those friends that have known eachother for like 7 years, its barely been like 2. and she just feels like a big part of me, even though i guestion it all the time. I have left so many things behind before, a lot of things. But for some reason this just seems like one i won't be able to ever let go or forget. It makes me really upset to think that in today she is gone, it could be the last time i ever see her. I try to make everything soo positive, like she is going to have a lot going for her over in jordan, when i really don't know anything for sure. I make it look like as if i am happier than her, that she is going to take on a new adventure and be in a new place. When i bet i'm just as hurt, or even more.. then she is. I may not come off as i am that hurt, but like i just explained i'm dyyying. Just little things she did for me, even if she .. i don't know like wrote me a note? It was different and i feel that she saw me as a different person than anyof my other friends had. she really believed in me, and if i told her something she would really understand it. She could really really help out. I know she is going to make a big difference in the world someday, with just the person she is.. whether its with soccer, or whatever it may be. I believe she is truly going to amaze the world and seriously nothing... the world... doesn't even deserve someone like her. As many times as i may have hated stephanie, or even wanted to never talk to her again. I really just wished that she would stay my friend .........forever......... and i don't care if she goes all the way over there, gets all settled... everything and never even thinks of me ever again. i know i wont forget her. and i know.. your supposed to get on and move with your life and not let anything that you have to leave behind have an impact .......but how am i supposed to..?
So i woke up this morning and met Kaley's mom at Perkins then my mom dropped me off over Steph's to spend the morning with her. I went to the airport with her family and helped out as much as i could. The airport was just horrible, we all were crying SO hard.. it was just, yucky. I was having trouble breathing from holding it in .. the whole car ride home i cried with Kaley and even her mom. =( I couldn't stop!!!!!!!!!!!! We all got in an elevator and peole were in the middle of all 8 of us balling, and i just.. i can't tell u how bad this is. She called me today when she got in Georgia! It was around 7.. she's going to call me when she gets to Jordan. I just hope everything is okay and she is okay<3