..here's to you my best friend
Sometimes I question my friendships with others. I question whether or not I'm in them for the right reasons, or even if they are. Am I just friends with them because they're there or because I genuinely like them? I don't know anymore. It always starts out that I genuinely like them, but then I get bored and annoyed with them. I always question
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i'm sorry for whatever i've done. i'm sorry for causing distance. i'm sorry that i'm not the most open person in the world. i love you to death, and i would die without you. i'm sorry i've been so.. i don't know, lately. i just have a hard time talking about things, you know that, and when i get depressed like this, i just like to be alone to think. i don't want to hurt you in any way. you are the best friend i've ever had. ever. i would never lie to you, unless i was joking. i've told you things that i couldn't tell anyone else. i've had more fun with you in the past year that i've had in my whole life. you are one of the only people i would ever consider a true friend. you have always been there for me. i'm sorry that i can't do the same. i try, but i always seem to fail. i'm one for befriending people only because they are there, but you are not one of them, nor will you ever be. you are like the sister i was never blessed with, like one of my brothers in female form.
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Don't worry about it. I guess that I'm having a hard time with things right now and I used to be able to turn to you and stuff. I don't know if it's just because it's summer and we're both doing different things, or if you're just getting bored of me. Granted we do the same thing all the time, but those are the things I treasure the most. Like you, this is the best friendship I've ever had. And knowing all the things that you've confided in me, knowing all the things you've been through makes me want to talk to you whenever you're depressed. I get really worried about you, Liz. More worried about you than myself (and you know how much I worry about my wellbeing and whatnot). And I guess that for once, I have an expectation of somebody. You and I both know that I don't expect anything from anyone..But I do expect something from you because you're dependable. I expect you to trust me as much as I trust you. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less. That's all I want from you, but that's not all that will be excepted. I know how ( ... )
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