[Fanfic] 7 ways to say I love you (in Italian and Japanese), D18 (khr!)

[xhiro_xhiro]

Title - 7 ways to say I love you (in Italian and Japanese)
Author - xhiro_xhiro 
Rating - G
Pairing - DinoxHibari
Warnings - Um. Slash? Is that even a warning anymore? It's cool though, guys. There's no porn.
Summary&Author's notes - A little compilation of snippets of D18. This was started waaayyy back in November of 2008 actually... so the writing changes a lot

Comments

[remi_niscence18]

So simple yet so effective.
So bold yet so subtle.

They certainly have a power over the corners of my mouth.

[xhiro_xhiro]

Thanks man. It sounds like you're judging food lol.

[remi_niscence18]

XD
The same can be said for any other forms of art~

[xhiro_xhiro]

aww thanks bb <3 it's katekyo hitman reborrrnn

your icon is so cute *A*

[xhiro_xhiro]

A manga and an animu

it was quite the rage a while back.

[hollymyew]

Wuu~ Hime's writing is very lovely. It's concise but still has a nice flow.
I did however, pick up two odd sentences. Don't know if you mind being corrected, though.

[xhiro_xhiro]

Ahhh thanks holly ;w;!

and I totally don't mind. If it's comma splices though... I do that a lot orz;

[hollymyew]

Alright, well if you don't mind. Sorry I'm such an English Nazi (especially since I hardly ever proofread my own hack writing). ^^;;

Anyways.

1. "Shocked-disbelief", I don't know who coined the term, but there aught to be something better in the dictionary. There's nothing grammatically wrong with it actually, just that it isn't pretty. Shock and disbelief are different in their own right, and this combination does describe a particular emotion, but they are words close to being redundant. Maybe throw in an "and" would help. Also, it's a word pair that is typically used for describing the after-feelings of catastrophic events---unless you feel like this really is one. But for your line, a subtler synonym would be more suitable.

2. "They crept out of town meticulously". I don't really know how one can creep "meticulously" unless they're fussy about they way they creep and are paying obsessive attention to how they walk every pace of the way.
In anycase, I'm not quite sure your intentions on this one.

[xhiro_xhiro]

Ooh yeah I see it now. Thanks for the heads-up. *A*

[runninwild04]

ah i really enjoyed these. thank you for sharing them! <3

[xhiro_xhiro]

Thank you very much for taking the time to read them! ;w; I'm glad you enjoyed them!

[akashiro]

You reminded me how much I love drabbles~ These are so sweet *333*