(no subject)
41 weeks since my last update..wow.
i always swear i'm going to pick lj back up..
danielle reminded me
so i thought i'd throw down again. lj style!
blogs on myspace are nice because they're blogs but lame because people read them XD
i love the idea of being able to trace my thoughts through the years..remember how i felt..who i adored..what the hell i was thinking haha
so ONCE AGAIN i'll try to start updating again. even though no one reads it..that's comforting in a way though.
myspace has so many limits because..so many effing people can get pissed off by a single thought.
livejournal doesn't really have anyone that's in my life now..and that's nice.
so here goes a better..more descriptive update.
as much as i hate people who update with fake "i'm so great"s
things arn't too shabby. i got a puppy =) i'll be taking pictures sooon hope he's not camera shy lol lets see..you know world of warcraft has a bad rep and i'm sick of people assuming it consumes my life. It's a hobby not a game. Hobbies are what you do in your spare time and something you have fun with. My hobby happens to also make me lots of wonderful friends. Although, i'm a little friend shy to be honest. I guess that's another huge change in my life. Dumping my best friend of eight years. But, it had to be done..now i'm not saying she's a bad person or anything i'm not saying she's a good one either haha i'm simply saying at this point i don't actually care. You can't expect to stay friends with someone that long, sure sometimes it happens but we've just grown into such totally different people. Anywho, like i said i'm a little friend shy here lately..i'll make a new friend..totally love them..but not pull the trigger, i don't want to get too close. i don't want to idk just i hate friends that are simply your friend to use you, or if you have a problem they're never there for you. For instance..i'm facing divorce sleeping on my mother's couch barely having any contact with the man who makes my life worth living. And my "BFF" called like once and texted a few times...but at the same time..those are when you find who really cares about you. My parents were saints. I'll never forget how amazing they were..how supportive..and how much they truly cared about john. I mean they're my parents..of course they care about me, of course they want to make sure i'm alright and fix any boo boos that may happen. but they also wanted to do the same for john..as much hell and pain and torment as he had put me through that month and my dad i swear he looked like he was crying---for john! he was worried..he loves him like a son..and that means the world to me..and my mom was supportive strong and exactly what i needed every step of the way..aunt debbie..amazing she knew when to give advice and when to pat my shoulder she knew when to laugh and when to keep me from crying, i thought we'd really disconnected after i moved to wisconsin i mean she had more than her hand of raising me lmao BUT nearly a decade after i stopped going to her house every weekend..she can still read my face like a book. AAAAND most important friend find of the whole ordeal...mark. John's best friend and i knew we were pretty close and i luffed him but..i never knew how there for me he'd be. He called i *think* everyday until i was home. He called me on my bullshit and he picked me up when i was about to fall..all while his life was a living hell. He still cared about my problems even though his seemed even larger. I mean sure we'd talk about his problems too..but he never made any of it "about him" on purpose. not once..that is one damn good man and i'll probably stand by that for my entire life..hm mk that was long and descriptive..lets see..more..idk what i make of obama..now i'm not saying he's like..evil and i'm not saying he's not haha the way i see it, only time will tell that stuff but taking ALL of that outside and speaking only on his presidency..that bitch made A LOT of smooth talks and talks of "change" and "hope" so i hope he can live up to all these campaign promises, although most never do lol. ..i feel bad for the fanatics, vivid imaginations those guys have..i mean it's kinda like the way any hierarchy works any weak link can bring the whole thing down more so the higher you get, but even when you get to the top..i don't believe one man can change a nation as radically as people are assuming, now maybe if people start acting a little more cival and people change then he can have some room to work. And i'm SO sick of hearing all of this race crap. i mean honestly does anyone actually go by race anymore? would someone seriously take a white whack job over a black well put together and intelligent man? or vice versa? srsly people. i really feel other than extremists the only reason racism still is around, is because people won't let it go. They're obsessed with someone being racist or being racist themselves to the point that we're woo-hooing over every little drop of non-white blood. Now i do give him kudo's for being the first however..i don't think it's something to spaz over. What average person would really vote for someone less capable simply out of race? This is where the problems lie as far as i'm concerned. But, i'm honestly worried for him, the extremist although out numbered by rational people..are still a pretty populated group. And i just hope that if he doesn't finish his term it's a reason other than assassination..speak of..why do people just write off conspiracy theorists ? i mean i'm not saying they're right hahahaha but i'm simply saying that a lot of the times they're well researched and intelligent. i might they're probably right about a lot more than we give them credit for. I try not to really buy into it too much or get too in depth BUT i'm not going to let my mind be made up by opposing anything they have to say. And i feel like it'll be a little bit harder to bash the new president. I mean there were tv shows and all kinds of crap about bush however..not only will people constantly be pulling the race card..most of the media is liberal. it's safer that way..if you're liberal chances are people arn't going to hate you for your beliefs at least not other media people i feel it's all stemming from the fact that liberals most of the time support homosexuality and since it's undeniable that the media is pretty highly populated with gays. But see here's where i get confused. Now anyone who knows me..knows i love my gays..that doesn't mean i'm pro gay marriage. That doesn't mean i will base my political beliefs on those of my friends simply because they might be angry if i'm voting a certain way. But i also have a higher caliber of friends. I don't think i have one friend anymore that would be angered by my views, i don't think i have one friend who if facing different points wouldn't explain theirs to me, and that's how i want it. I've never had a deaf ear to an opinion. But i've never been weak willed into accepting one either. See, in MY opinion..the political world is such a fine line it's almost invisible. Now on one hand you have to have government. Most anarchists are either 14 or outcasts who probably do it for the rise. There are very very few true believers in anarchy. (Verses the ones that claim it of course) So for the majority it's a question of how much government control should a nation have? i mean..too much and it's nazi's all over again..too little and pretty much the same thing happens because in human nature if laws are not set to regulate then people feel it's their "duty" to do so. Which would vary from riots in the streets over M rated games being sold to 10 year olds all the way to murders of anyone trying to help with gay marriage or hell any number of things. I'm very wary of too much governmental control ...i do believe in the nwo and anti christ and rapture and everything that goes along with it, so of course when someone shouts gun control i'm worried. The best way to overrun a nation is to take away their weapons..obviously. anyway..i'm rambling about something i'm not even interested in at the moment haha bottom line. Obama fanatics are wack..he hasn't even taken his first presidential shit yet, wait at least a few months before shouting change mmk?
i always swear i'm going to pick lj back up..
danielle reminded me
so i thought i'd throw down again. lj style!
blogs on myspace are nice because they're blogs but lame because people read them XD
i love the idea of being able to trace my thoughts through the years..remember how i felt..who i adored..what the hell i was thinking haha
so ONCE AGAIN i'll try to start updating again. even though no one reads it..that's comforting in a way though.
myspace has so many limits because..so many effing people can get pissed off by a single thought.
livejournal doesn't really have anyone that's in my life now..and that's nice.
so here goes a better..more descriptive update.
as much as i hate people who update with fake "i'm so great"s
things arn't too shabby. i got a puppy =) i'll be taking pictures sooon hope he's not camera shy lol lets see..you know world of warcraft has a bad rep and i'm sick of people assuming it consumes my life. It's a hobby not a game. Hobbies are what you do in your spare time and something you have fun with. My hobby happens to also make me lots of wonderful friends. Although, i'm a little friend shy to be honest. I guess that's another huge change in my life. Dumping my best friend of eight years. But, it had to be done..now i'm not saying she's a bad person or anything i'm not saying she's a good one either haha i'm simply saying at this point i don't actually care. You can't expect to stay friends with someone that long, sure sometimes it happens but we've just grown into such totally different people. Anywho, like i said i'm a little friend shy here lately..i'll make a new friend..totally love them..but not pull the trigger, i don't want to get too close. i don't want to idk just i hate friends that are simply your friend to use you, or if you have a problem they're never there for you. For instance..i'm facing divorce sleeping on my mother's couch barely having any contact with the man who makes my life worth living. And my "BFF" called like once and texted a few times...but at the same time..those are when you find who really cares about you. My parents were saints. I'll never forget how amazing they were..how supportive..and how much they truly cared about john. I mean they're my parents..of course they care about me, of course they want to make sure i'm alright and fix any boo boos that may happen. but they also wanted to do the same for john..as much hell and pain and torment as he had put me through that month and my dad i swear he looked like he was crying---for john! he was worried..he loves him like a son..and that means the world to me..and my mom was supportive strong and exactly what i needed every step of the way..aunt debbie..amazing she knew when to give advice and when to pat my shoulder she knew when to laugh and when to keep me from crying, i thought we'd really disconnected after i moved to wisconsin i mean she had more than her hand of raising me lmao BUT nearly a decade after i stopped going to her house every weekend..she can still read my face like a book. AAAAND most important friend find of the whole ordeal...mark. John's best friend and i knew we were pretty close and i luffed him but..i never knew how there for me he'd be. He called i *think* everyday until i was home. He called me on my bullshit and he picked me up when i was about to fall..all while his life was a living hell. He still cared about my problems even though his seemed even larger. I mean sure we'd talk about his problems too..but he never made any of it "about him" on purpose. not once..that is one damn good man and i'll probably stand by that for my entire life..hm mk that was long and descriptive..lets see..more..idk what i make of obama..now i'm not saying he's like..evil and i'm not saying he's not haha the way i see it, only time will tell that stuff but taking ALL of that outside and speaking only on his presidency..that bitch made A LOT of smooth talks and talks of "change" and "hope" so i hope he can live up to all these campaign promises, although most never do lol. ..i feel bad for the fanatics, vivid imaginations those guys have..i mean it's kinda like the way any hierarchy works any weak link can bring the whole thing down more so the higher you get, but even when you get to the top..i don't believe one man can change a nation as radically as people are assuming, now maybe if people start acting a little more cival and people change then he can have some room to work. And i'm SO sick of hearing all of this race crap. i mean honestly does anyone actually go by race anymore? would someone seriously take a white whack job over a black well put together and intelligent man? or vice versa? srsly people. i really feel other than extremists the only reason racism still is around, is because people won't let it go. They're obsessed with someone being racist or being racist themselves to the point that we're woo-hooing over every little drop of non-white blood. Now i do give him kudo's for being the first however..i don't think it's something to spaz over. What average person would really vote for someone less capable simply out of race? This is where the problems lie as far as i'm concerned. But, i'm honestly worried for him, the extremist although out numbered by rational people..are still a pretty populated group. And i just hope that if he doesn't finish his term it's a reason other than assassination..speak of..why do people just write off conspiracy theorists ? i mean i'm not saying they're right hahahaha but i'm simply saying that a lot of the times they're well researched and intelligent. i might they're probably right about a lot more than we give them credit for. I try not to really buy into it too much or get too in depth BUT i'm not going to let my mind be made up by opposing anything they have to say. And i feel like it'll be a little bit harder to bash the new president. I mean there were tv shows and all kinds of crap about bush however..not only will people constantly be pulling the race card..most of the media is liberal. it's safer that way..if you're liberal chances are people arn't going to hate you for your beliefs at least not other media people i feel it's all stemming from the fact that liberals most of the time support homosexuality and since it's undeniable that the media is pretty highly populated with gays. But see here's where i get confused. Now anyone who knows me..knows i love my gays..that doesn't mean i'm pro gay marriage. That doesn't mean i will base my political beliefs on those of my friends simply because they might be angry if i'm voting a certain way. But i also have a higher caliber of friends. I don't think i have one friend anymore that would be angered by my views, i don't think i have one friend who if facing different points wouldn't explain theirs to me, and that's how i want it. I've never had a deaf ear to an opinion. But i've never been weak willed into accepting one either. See, in MY opinion..the political world is such a fine line it's almost invisible. Now on one hand you have to have government. Most anarchists are either 14 or outcasts who probably do it for the rise. There are very very few true believers in anarchy. (Verses the ones that claim it of course) So for the majority it's a question of how much government control should a nation have? i mean..too much and it's nazi's all over again..too little and pretty much the same thing happens because in human nature if laws are not set to regulate then people feel it's their "duty" to do so. Which would vary from riots in the streets over M rated games being sold to 10 year olds all the way to murders of anyone trying to help with gay marriage or hell any number of things. I'm very wary of too much governmental control ...i do believe in the nwo and anti christ and rapture and everything that goes along with it, so of course when someone shouts gun control i'm worried. The best way to overrun a nation is to take away their weapons..obviously. anyway..i'm rambling about something i'm not even interested in at the moment haha bottom line. Obama fanatics are wack..he hasn't even taken his first presidential shit yet, wait at least a few months before shouting change mmk?