the story of a boy (or half of one, anyway)
this is an akuroku thing that i wrote during school today. it's made up of quotes, diary entries, and some storytelling in the end. the quotes are a mixture of originals i made up and ones taken straight from the game. the originals are mostly towards the end.
Dear Axel
To my be
I’m sorr
Axel:
You’ll probably never read this. Maybe I’ll bring it with me. I might leave it behind, but if I do, I’m sure you won’t stick around long enough to find it. You’ll be mad. You’ll be upset. You’ll probably hate me. That is, if you can hate. I’m still not sure, but I can tell you that I’m not doing this for no reason. I’m not doing this to hurt you. Can I hurt you? There are reasons. You have to believe me. I’ve told you about Sora. The dreams, the keyblade, and I need to know what it means. Why did it choose me? This life is pointless. I’m sick of running errands for somebody else. It’s time for me to do something for myself. I can’t explain why, but I want to meet him. I have to. I’m sorry.
“You can’t turn your back on the organization! You get on their bad side and they’ll destroy you!”
“No one would miss me.”
“That’s not true. I would.”
Yeah, you were upset, just like I thought. I half expected you to come at me with your chakrams. It’s a good thing you didn’t. I don’t want to fight you. You’re the last person I would want to go against. I (fades to scribbles).
“You really don’t remember, do you? It’s me. You know, Axel.”
I found this notebook in my bed. I’m not sure what it is, where it came from. The handwriting looks like mine, but I don’t remember writing it. I don’t know who Axel is. Unless it’s the guy from before. But, I don’t know him. He doesn’t know me.
“You really do remember me this time? I’m so flattered.”
I think Axel hates me.
“Let’s meet again … in the next life.”
Or … maybe it’s something else.
“You … you were never supposed to exist, Roxas.”
I’m nothing. I’m nobody. I’m not supposed to exist. I’m supposed to be part of Sora. But, if I become a part of Sora, won’t I disappear? Won’t I stop being me?
I want to be real.
“I wanted to see Roxas. He … was the only one I liked. He made me feel … like I had a heart.”
I felt a deep sadness today. I felt. I feel. It’s tearing me apart, and I don’t know why.
“… you’re a good other.”
Sora. Sky. My other half. The one with my heart, with my life, with everything that I’d like to think I deserve. I met him today. He’s the first one, the only one who’s ever beaten me. He’s strong. He’s good. It’s him, not me. He’s the one that matters. He’s the chosen one. I’m tainted. He’s pure of heart.
He deserves more than me.
“So … we can be together again.”
It looks like I don’t have a choice. Become part of Sora, or become nothing.
Maybe being a part of Sora isn’t so bad. At least it will make me real.
--
This isn’t the kind of real that I was hoping for. I wanted to feel. Wanted to laugh, cry, love … I wanted so much, but now I’m in the darkness again. I’m trapped in Sora’s mind, and all I can do is watch. Today, I watched as he talked to Kairi, really talked to her, and felt the happiest he had in years. I watches as they talked about Riku, watched them reminisce.
I watched as Sora told her that Axel is dead. And then I stopped watching.
“He said … he wanted to see Roxas one more time. I wish I could have given him that, at least.”
“So … I have to go. Sora’s waiting for me.”
“Yeah … I guess he is.”
I was sure that I would see him again. I was positive. I didn’t know that he wasn’t going to come back. I didn’t know how much it would hurt, for him to not come back. I’m stuck in the darkness again, but this time, I’m alone.
--
“It hasn’t felt the same lately … something’s not right. I wish … I wish I could talk to him.”
“Maybe everything we’re doing … maybe it’s all for nothing.”
“Don’t you get it? You’re a pawn. It’s not you. It was never you. It’s Kairi’s heart we wanted, and now we have it.”
Nothing is whole. Nothing is broken. Nothing is solid, and the darkness always comes back. Everything, done. All of it for nothing, and Sora can only watch as Kairi’s heart is consumed and disappears into the darkness.
Everything, done. All of it for nothing, and he doesn’t fight back when he feels the blade, cool and just like fire, piercing like the green eyes that never once look away.
Axel watches, the smirk on his lips nothing but a by product of the sick sense of satisfaction that comes with watching the life slip from Sora’s eyes. There’s something else, something flickering just beneath the surface, and a flick of the wrist, forcing the blade deeper brings a blinding flash of light.
Sora’s body is gone. It disappears into the flash of light, and there’s the dull click of metal against stone as the chakram falls to the ground.
Once the light clears, all that’s left is darkness. Darkness, and a boy with blond hair and blue eyes, standing and staring like he can’t believe it.
Axel straightens up, allows him his moment of silence before outstretching a single gloved hand.
Roxas smiles.
(the end?)
Dear Axel
To my be
I’m sorr
Axel:
You’ll probably never read this. Maybe I’ll bring it with me. I might leave it behind, but if I do, I’m sure you won’t stick around long enough to find it. You’ll be mad. You’ll be upset. You’ll probably hate me. That is, if you can hate. I’m still not sure, but I can tell you that I’m not doing this for no reason. I’m not doing this to hurt you. Can I hurt you? There are reasons. You have to believe me. I’ve told you about Sora. The dreams, the keyblade, and I need to know what it means. Why did it choose me? This life is pointless. I’m sick of running errands for somebody else. It’s time for me to do something for myself. I can’t explain why, but I want to meet him. I have to. I’m sorry.
“You can’t turn your back on the organization! You get on their bad side and they’ll destroy you!”
“No one would miss me.”
“That’s not true. I would.”
Yeah, you were upset, just like I thought. I half expected you to come at me with your chakrams. It’s a good thing you didn’t. I don’t want to fight you. You’re the last person I would want to go against. I (fades to scribbles).
“You really don’t remember, do you? It’s me. You know, Axel.”
I found this notebook in my bed. I’m not sure what it is, where it came from. The handwriting looks like mine, but I don’t remember writing it. I don’t know who Axel is. Unless it’s the guy from before. But, I don’t know him. He doesn’t know me.
“You really do remember me this time? I’m so flattered.”
I think Axel hates me.
“Let’s meet again … in the next life.”
Or … maybe it’s something else.
“You … you were never supposed to exist, Roxas.”
I’m nothing. I’m nobody. I’m not supposed to exist. I’m supposed to be part of Sora. But, if I become a part of Sora, won’t I disappear? Won’t I stop being me?
I want to be real.
“I wanted to see Roxas. He … was the only one I liked. He made me feel … like I had a heart.”
I felt a deep sadness today. I felt. I feel. It’s tearing me apart, and I don’t know why.
“… you’re a good other.”
Sora. Sky. My other half. The one with my heart, with my life, with everything that I’d like to think I deserve. I met him today. He’s the first one, the only one who’s ever beaten me. He’s strong. He’s good. It’s him, not me. He’s the one that matters. He’s the chosen one. I’m tainted. He’s pure of heart.
He deserves more than me.
“So … we can be together again.”
It looks like I don’t have a choice. Become part of Sora, or become nothing.
Maybe being a part of Sora isn’t so bad. At least it will make me real.
--
This isn’t the kind of real that I was hoping for. I wanted to feel. Wanted to laugh, cry, love … I wanted so much, but now I’m in the darkness again. I’m trapped in Sora’s mind, and all I can do is watch. Today, I watched as he talked to Kairi, really talked to her, and felt the happiest he had in years. I watches as they talked about Riku, watched them reminisce.
I watched as Sora told her that Axel is dead. And then I stopped watching.
“He said … he wanted to see Roxas one more time. I wish I could have given him that, at least.”
“So … I have to go. Sora’s waiting for me.”
“Yeah … I guess he is.”
I was sure that I would see him again. I was positive. I didn’t know that he wasn’t going to come back. I didn’t know how much it would hurt, for him to not come back. I’m stuck in the darkness again, but this time, I’m alone.
--
“It hasn’t felt the same lately … something’s not right. I wish … I wish I could talk to him.”
“Maybe everything we’re doing … maybe it’s all for nothing.”
“Don’t you get it? You’re a pawn. It’s not you. It was never you. It’s Kairi’s heart we wanted, and now we have it.”
Nothing is whole. Nothing is broken. Nothing is solid, and the darkness always comes back. Everything, done. All of it for nothing, and Sora can only watch as Kairi’s heart is consumed and disappears into the darkness.
Everything, done. All of it for nothing, and he doesn’t fight back when he feels the blade, cool and just like fire, piercing like the green eyes that never once look away.
Axel watches, the smirk on his lips nothing but a by product of the sick sense of satisfaction that comes with watching the life slip from Sora’s eyes. There’s something else, something flickering just beneath the surface, and a flick of the wrist, forcing the blade deeper brings a blinding flash of light.
Sora’s body is gone. It disappears into the flash of light, and there’s the dull click of metal against stone as the chakram falls to the ground.
Once the light clears, all that’s left is darkness. Darkness, and a boy with blond hair and blue eyes, standing and staring like he can’t believe it.
Axel straightens up, allows him his moment of silence before outstretching a single gloved hand.
Roxas smiles.
(the end?)