break it down like 3, 2, 4
i haven't really posted any sort of proper real life entry in, uh, ever. rofl. not sure if anyone really cares to read my senseless rambling but whatever, there's nothing else for me to do this late cause i don't feel like watching a drama and the meme is slow. so here i go?
SO let's talk about real life for a bit, mm? we'll start with school, i guess. college has overall been a pretty positive experience so far. i mean, there are negatives, of course, but i'll get to those in a moment. it's really awesome being at IU. bloomington is an awesome place to live, way better than lafayette honestly in so many ways. i love the stuff that's around here to do, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like much. at the very least, there's always people watching. lmao.
korean is so much fun still. i really love that class and it's really motivating me more and more towards my ultimate goal. and talking to people who have been to korea or have the same interests in it as me ... it's just really interesting. totally different than being in a high school where nobody gets it.
i'm kind of um, failing finite though. lol i got like a 30% on my last exam, sigh. i'm kicking my ass into gear on that from now on and we'll see what happens. i just need to at least pass the damn class, but i'm pretty sure i'm capable of that. and if not, well. hello finite again next year. :|
this whole friends thing is interesting too. idk it's like i don't know as many people here as i did in high school, so i don't have as many friends. but i don't mind it, really. kpop-ing and failing around is too much fun, imo. i'd rather meet more people who share my interests, and that's definitely happening as time goes on. just today i was invited to sit with some guys in my history of east asia class tomorrow (one of whom i have a bit of a crush on ♥). so there's definitely some progress happening there.
my friends from before college .... :| idek where to start there. or what to say. i miss a lot of them. i do, so much, but there are frustrations with others and i really just don't even know what to do about any of it. i'm actually currently discussing this situation with one of my best friends, but for the love of siwon i don't understand some people. i care too much, clearly. so much that i get physically sick when i even think about this shit and i don't know what to do to stop it, to make it go away. i guess people grow apart or whatever but idek. i decided to try a little experiment. that for once, it won't be me. i won't let myself do the initiating, i'll leave it alone and see if there's a little reciprocation. there's not, and all i can say is ... sigh. now it's to the point where i just feel sick when i think about it, but whatever. i'll have to deal with it sooner or later, i just need to figure out how i'm gonna go about it. or maybe i won't be the one to deal with it. but somehow, i doubt that. cause god forbid it's the other way around for once. SIGH.
OKAY, EMO RANT OVER.
so i'm excited/terrified for tomorrow cause of the whole maybe sitting next to that boy thing. cries i have to dress well and make sure that i don't look like crapppp. and it should be exciting because, from what i've heard, his english is not very good. WISH ME LUCK?
also, i wrote some SHINee fic and posted it. lol. people don't seem to be hating it so this is a good thing? i forgot how good it felt to write, and the excitement of a new fandom makes it even better. i want to write more soon. :D
ALSO, KPOP FANDOM WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY I DON'T EVEN. i spent so much of my day being confused at jyp, omg.
err, well, this entry is really long. so i guess i'll go and spam myself with happy to try and take this sick feeling away. :|||
have my new favorite .gif ever, flist. ilu all. ♥
SO let's talk about real life for a bit, mm? we'll start with school, i guess. college has overall been a pretty positive experience so far. i mean, there are negatives, of course, but i'll get to those in a moment. it's really awesome being at IU. bloomington is an awesome place to live, way better than lafayette honestly in so many ways. i love the stuff that's around here to do, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like much. at the very least, there's always people watching. lmao.
korean is so much fun still. i really love that class and it's really motivating me more and more towards my ultimate goal. and talking to people who have been to korea or have the same interests in it as me ... it's just really interesting. totally different than being in a high school where nobody gets it.
i'm kind of um, failing finite though. lol i got like a 30% on my last exam, sigh. i'm kicking my ass into gear on that from now on and we'll see what happens. i just need to at least pass the damn class, but i'm pretty sure i'm capable of that. and if not, well. hello finite again next year. :|
this whole friends thing is interesting too. idk it's like i don't know as many people here as i did in high school, so i don't have as many friends. but i don't mind it, really. kpop-ing and failing around is too much fun, imo. i'd rather meet more people who share my interests, and that's definitely happening as time goes on. just today i was invited to sit with some guys in my history of east asia class tomorrow (one of whom i have a bit of a crush on ♥). so there's definitely some progress happening there.
my friends from before college .... :| idek where to start there. or what to say. i miss a lot of them. i do, so much, but there are frustrations with others and i really just don't even know what to do about any of it. i'm actually currently discussing this situation with one of my best friends, but for the love of siwon i don't understand some people. i care too much, clearly. so much that i get physically sick when i even think about this shit and i don't know what to do to stop it, to make it go away. i guess people grow apart or whatever but idek. i decided to try a little experiment. that for once, it won't be me. i won't let myself do the initiating, i'll leave it alone and see if there's a little reciprocation. there's not, and all i can say is ... sigh. now it's to the point where i just feel sick when i think about it, but whatever. i'll have to deal with it sooner or later, i just need to figure out how i'm gonna go about it. or maybe i won't be the one to deal with it. but somehow, i doubt that. cause god forbid it's the other way around for once. SIGH.
OKAY, EMO RANT OVER.
so i'm excited/terrified for tomorrow cause of the whole maybe sitting next to that boy thing. cries i have to dress well and make sure that i don't look like crapppp. and it should be exciting because, from what i've heard, his english is not very good. WISH ME LUCK?
also, i wrote some SHINee fic and posted it. lol. people don't seem to be hating it so this is a good thing? i forgot how good it felt to write, and the excitement of a new fandom makes it even better. i want to write more soon. :D
ALSO, KPOP FANDOM WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY I DON'T EVEN. i spent so much of my day being confused at jyp, omg.
err, well, this entry is really long. so i guess i'll go and spam myself with happy to try and take this sick feeling away. :|||
have my new favorite .gif ever, flist. ilu all. ♥
