the devils are milky
title: the devils are milky
pairings: 2min
rating: pg-13
3381 words.
not au, but with a touch of fantasy. taemin is an ancient spirit, shinee is destiny.
I wanted to finish this one for kj201's birthday before I went on with all the other stories I'm supposed to write. so girl, this one's for you :)
there is no end to the world; taemin watches it from their skyscraper-high apartment window and feels it expand under his gaze. the chaos on the roads below emits heavy energy, bursting through all the materialistic nonsense to touch at his fingertips. it runs a shiver down his spine.
he is but a breath away from where he used to be- the memories of past lives return to him overnight, infiltrating his dreams. he has gotten used to waking up with his chest heaving under the lack of oxygen. the memories make him forget to inhale the air his human body cannot go without.
sometimes he does not know how to distinguish reality from all his thoughts. it makes him nervous and blocks his word flow, always in the wrong situations. jinki corrects him along the way, always so patient. the leader’s input is but the beginning of it all.
they are not shining shinee without reason. they are not just five random guys with talent put together in the same group. it does not work like that.
fate has this thing for making things appear random and coincidental. people, places- the familiarity of everything makes everyday life seem like a low-humming drone, repetitive and straining. he smiles and waves at the camera, but the purpose is lost on him at times. all he knows is that he wants to dance.
“you’re getting there. they're following you,” jinki remarks one day when they are out for a photo shoot. he is referring to the butterfly that sits on his hand, resting its wings after hours of flight.
taemin stares at the creature, lifts his hand up in the air and spreads his fingers against the outline of the sun. the butterfly remains still, watchful. “it’s too early,” he answers, his innocent mind blocking the knowledge his soul is trying to convey. “there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“leave the kid alone,” kibum is stubborn, just like the soul that moves him. “he’s too young,” he adds, not meaning any harm. taemin respects both of their opinions equally.
jinki falls back into his human character, singing songs about chicken and nudging his shoulder to cheer him up. the butterfly takes off.
jonghyun has trouble understanding. before, he could not quite grasp the idea, the reality of the concept, until it was shoved down his throat. he was far too human, far too caught up with the impulses that surround them. once he had figured it out it had taken him weeks to get used to, struggling against the sudden pressure.
the pressure is something that reminds taemin that there is no escaping destiny. it is always there, always working in different ways, presenting opportunities he should not miss out on.
he has always known himself to be different from others; his passion for dancing has come naturally, far more so than breathing. he never listened to himself in the very beginning, simply accepting the pleasant turnabout of events that allowed him to become part of their group. it had to grow over the years and now it has become something he cannot ignore. once he has seen, he cannot unsee.
it started with thoughts. thoughts that came out of nowhere, that made no sense- unrelated to anything happening. he thought about flying, about light and feathers. sometimes he thought about dying and fire, but never in a way that scared him. these days, the thoughts are no longer simple indications; they are full-blown stories with beginnings and ends and underlying messages. they sound like music.
he remembers to breathe slowly to calm down his nerves before a show. his eyes get drawn to some people and he tries to understand the connection between his soul and theirs. every now and then there is someone whose eyes unlock a certain memory. he appears rude making eye contact, but he knows the soul is mirrored there. it does not always work in his advantage.
“hyung thinks this was meant to happen,” taemin says one night, after minho has injured himself. they sit in front of the window and it is far past their bedtime. the schedule says they have to be ready in five hours.
minho does not always respond immediately. the older man likes to think, which makes it all the more difficult for taemin to interact with him. he is used to kibum’s quick words which are directly given to him without going through the human thought process; he is used to jinki’s random wisdom and jonghyun’s moments of channelling a voice that can not only be ‘just talent’. minho is watchful and calm and knows how to play favourites.
“we all have our problems,” minho says after a while, not ready to accept what others think about this happening. he is blocked by his own natural urge to have the ability to perform, the urge that moves through him regardless of his strained ankle. he does not accept it.
taemin wants to laugh about it, for it sounds silly and makes his spirit light. he tries not to; minho could interpret it wrongly and the last thing they need is to fall out of synch with one another. so he tries; “hyung thinks it is a lesson. you have to learn,” he echoes jinki’s words and he trusts in them. he knows all there is to life is lessons, no matter how insignificant they seem.
“what lesson can I learn from this?” minho struggles, too caught up in the situation. he bases his thoughts solely on what he feels physically. to him there is only annoyance. “I’m not sure anymore,” he confesses absentmindedly.
time passes slowly. “you make it so black and white, but nothing works like that. maybe that is your lesson,” taemin answers, eyes coming to rest on the other man’s face. he can see minho is tired. “that despite your injury, there will be benefits if only you’d recognise them.”
there is silence between them again, until minho decides to come forth with his thoughts. “it gets difficult to believe and trust blindly. I only believe in what I can achieve. everything else is just the collected mess that tries to interfere.”
it sounds so final, taemin wants to shake the other man. “I think you’re wrong, hyung. everything is fate and your part in it is how you choose to interact with it.” on that note he leaves for bed. minho needs time to figure himself out.
jinki was the first to notice and when he did, his eyes followed taemin’s every move. he is much like a father and a brother, but first and foremost a leader; he devotes a lot of his time and attention to making sure the path is clear for them to walk on. he sides with taemin and smiles.
“you visited my dreams,” he tells when they are in the van and taemin knows the others are listening in on their conversation. “I saw you dance, I know you did.”
taemin becomes bashful under the other’s gaze, but nods anyway. “it was a nice dream.”
“you’re different,” jinki concludes, simply stating what he thinks, even though it bothers the others, sometimes. “I know you’re different and it’s okay. we're here because of you.” the words sound oddly filled with emotion so early in the morning. to his side, kibum chuckles.
“what are we now, slaves to the pretty face?” but kibum does not mean it like that, taemin can feel that. jonghyun laughs, but meets his eyes with a confidence that tells him he is aware, too. no one holds anything against taemin, but minho seems distant. minho is sidetracked.
in an attempt to help the other understand, taemin pulls minho to the side of the stage. not that he fully understands himself; there are a lot of pieces, coming from all five of them, which somewhat fit in a bigger picture. yet they are young and there is a lot left to unfold. his soul pushes him towards the other, before minho ends up trapped in the boundaries his mind creates.
“like stars,” taemin places his hands on top of the other’s upturned palms. minho is leaning against the wall, watching him silently. “like stars, hyung. we're a cluster and we move together. we can only move if all of us are synchronised-“
minho’s eyes darken. “are you placing blame? are you telling me-“
before it escalates, taemin quickly interrupts him. his eyes widen at the other man’s words and he needs to choose his words carefully now. “no! hyung, that is not what I’m saying. listen-“ he curls his fingers around the other man’s, holding his hands loosely.
“it’s not easy. every universe has problems- you got knocked out of orbit and you think that that’s just that, that you’re supposed to be angry about it because it makes you feel frustrated,” he leans in a little closer, knowing that the conversation would sound too weird if it was overheard by anyone. “and the more you focus on how frustrating it is, the further you drift away.”
the older man stays silent yet again, but he does not pull away. taemin knows he should not hand out his opinion and advice to those older than him, culturally speaking. it is not his place as a human, but his instinct tells him it has to be said. minho will forgive him.
“...so I’m getting sidetracked,” he concludes, expression calm as he watches taemin. the younger singer is glad minho chooses to approach his words carefully. “by my injury.”
“only if you want to,” taemin reminds him, giving his fingers a little squeeze. “that is free will. I cannot decide for hyung what to do, but I feel it might be heading the wrong way.”
without warning, minho pulls on his hands and wraps his arms around him in a hug. taemin sighs, a smile on his face as he buries his face against the other man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to get away from you,” minho admits in a soft tone. taemin knows it takes a lot of courage for him to do so.
“you’re far from gone,” taemin encourages. “just a little out of tune, that’s all.”
he drinks a tall glass of milk every day. nothing about milk or dairy is good for the human body- people have been deluded to think that they need the substance for stronger bones and healthier bodies. they ignore the cholesterol, the toxins and the cancer that comes with it, but he is different. his spirit is not human.
kibum makes sure he drinks all of it, but never touches it himself. none of the others do and taemin only comes to understand why after several years. he chokes on the next sip, eyes tearing up as he looks at kibum.
“come on taemin-ah, don’t worry about it so much,” the other man waves off the sentiment, but taemin feels how it affects him, too.
he does not want to cry, but the tears sting his eyes nonetheless. stubbornly he wipes at his eyes with his sleeve, one hand still clutching the half-finished glass as sobs threaten to break his control. eventually he cannot take it anymore and buries his face against his arms as he lets it all out.
kibum is warm, pulling him into an embrace when the others are not around. taemin is so thankful for his care that he fears he will never be able to express his gratitude, not to any of them. he also does not understand that the four of them cannot see that they are just like him, that they will be just like him, were they to give it some thought. instead, they praise him like being an idol to their fans is not enough already; instead, he just cries, shaking his head in disbelief.
“it is as jinki said,” kibum tries to calm him down. “we’re here because of you. you're the sun, little one.”
after all the stressful emotions have left his system, taemin downs the remainder of the milk confidently. kibum vows not to tell anyone, but taemin knows jinki will come to him later.
“so that is how it is,” jonghyun addresses him one evening when he is curled up on his bed with a book. at the singer’s words, he looks up and places the book aside.
“what is how what is?” he wonders, tilting his head some, but he has a vague idea what the other is talking about. it makes him a little nervous, because it is jonghyun.
jonghyun sits down on the edge of his bed, looking all sorts of held-back smiles and mischief. “you and our purpose. what we are all about. the butterflies and everything, about you being important on a different level.” it could be jealousy, but only if jonghyun understands it the wrong way.
so taemin shakes his head, looking down at his hands instead. “no, hyung... don’t make it sound like that,” he rubs his lips together, trying to find the right words to convey the feeling. jonghyun kicks his legs about, not knowing what to say, either. “it’s got nothing to do with importance, I hope you understand-“ he looks up at their praised vocalist, seeing only talent in everything the man does.
jonghyun grins, pulling his legs up on the bed. “no, it’s alright, really. I get that we’re all needed,” he waves his hand about. “you, me, kibum, tofu and even mister black hole. we're a bunch of stuff and we circle around each other and then stuff happens. something like that,” he laughs.
clutching a pillow to his chest, taemin laughs soundly. on days like these he is reminded of why they are a group; they need one another to remain sane.
the universe knows but the intent to learn. there is only progress, even in failure. every single decision has a reaction, consequences that lead to different paths and different truths. the road they have ended up on is longer and wider than their minds can grasp right now- there is only the bleed-through of emotions and memories, knowledge that is handed to them freely. the blanks are theirs to fill up. in this reality too, they have to create a synchronised ideal.
taemin has stopped asking why it is him, why he has to be the one, but even now that he has stopped asking, he still wonders at it. in his mind he tries to patch it all together; the images of past lives that tell of his long lost triumphs and the knowledge of something bigger, something higher. he knows he is, because he feels the way he wants to move even without thinking.
in another reality, taemin sighs and spreads his wings. his feathers are young and hollow and he cannot trust in them to carry his weight would he choose to take flight. he sits amidst flowers, gently dancing in the wind as it passes over the fields.
his human counterpart is becoming aware- with every breath he takes on the earthly plain his strength grows. eventually his wings will be strong enough to carry him to different places, but all he can do now is watch how a part of him decides to interact with reality through the limits of the 3D universe. every now and then he is able to reach through; mostly in dreams, he reminds himself of another existence. of the importance, the essence.
in realms below the one he resides in, his four allies rest. they are one evolutionary step away from entering his world, but he can talk to them through memories and sounds; visions far stronger and more interactive than those he can project onto the earth. his friends rely on him too, to take them through the natural process and guide them towards the ultimate unification of their thoughts.
the only breaths he draws on the astral plane are those that give life; puffs of air become carriers for souls, seeping through all the realms until they reach the earth where they take the shape of butterflies. it is the only hint he can give aside from dream projections, barely enough to awaken the natural urges in his earthbound body.
when he is on the stage, all nervousness goes away. the moment he moves his feet to a beat, he becomes synchronised with the vibration of sound. it is much the same when jonghyun and jinki sing, or when kibum and minho rhyme their words in time with a melody. sometimes when he lifts his body off the floor, be it only a jump, for a split second it feels like flying. he clings onto that feeling with all his might.
“will you forgive me?” minho asks, his injury barely healed. he insisted on practicing the dance routine alongside of them, but taemin knows it hurts when he has to turn on his heels. minho is pushing himself.
“is there anything to forgive?” taemin wonders, staring at the other with bright eyes. he reaches out for the other man’s hands and holds them- a familiar gesture he has come to find comforting and easy when communicating with the other. minho needs something to ground him.
“I was selfish,” minho reminds him, “and I didn’t want to listen to you, or jinki,” he adds. he looks sincere, but then again taemin hardly knows a different minho. though the man goes through his faults rapidly, he is always honest. so taemin shakes his head.
“it doesn’t matter. did you learn?”
minho hesitates. “I’m not sure. how can we be older and expected to lead you, will I ever get an answer to that?”
taemin just smiles. the other man is being silly again. “when will you stop treating me as if though I’m special?” he asks in return.
sure, everyone is special, but none of them is more so than others. even when they remind him countless times and even when he is reminded in his dreams, all the time, it does not necessarily have to make a difference. eventually, they will get where they are going and the goal is all the same. it is only through their group’s effort that they will be able to reach it, his purpose is solely to keep them all together. it has nothing to do with age.
“when will you realize that you are?” minho laughs, their eyes meeting.
“when will you realize that you are?” taemin retorts, pushing at the boundaries of their relationship. he forgets that he is supposed to show respect to his older friends simply because it does not make sense anymore, not when they are all equal.
“in another life, perhaps,” minho concludes, letting go of the other’s hands.
yet minho changes; taemin sees it in the way the man adjusts his manners and his worries. he understands how to approach things now, more so than jinki already did. taemin feels the ripple in the other’s energy and how it shoots up like a reversed falling star. he is letting go of the boundaries more rapidly than anyone he has ever seen.
underneath his breath, he mumbles; “awakening.” for a couple of minutes he is fascinated by the turn of events.
kibum hits his arm playfully and starts dragging him towards the stage. “stop saying weird things. let’s go steal some hearts.”
minho’s soul arrives on a blue butterfly. it flies around his head until it comes to rest on his palm. amused, taemin plays with it for a while until the man indicates wanting to take a more physical shape. he nods, takes his distance and watches how the other appears. flowers raise their petals to welcome him.
“you just needed a nudge,” taemin concludes, laughing as his friend moves up to him and embraces him. he sighs and closes his eyes, leaning against the other. “taemin will be happy,” he says, referring to his human counterpart.
“he will have to share his milk,” minho reminds the other, but he laughs too. “it will take time…”
“everything takes time,” taemin says, pressing his lips to the other’s ear. “but time is nothing. we can give them nothing.”
milk is the drink of the gods and the video for ring ding dong inspired this story. it might seem odd and I guess it is a little different from your usual read, but I like including symbolism in my writing. the title is actually taken from Tablo’s song ‘lesson one’.
pairings: 2min
rating: pg-13
3381 words.
not au, but with a touch of fantasy. taemin is an ancient spirit, shinee is destiny.
I wanted to finish this one for kj201's birthday before I went on with all the other stories I'm supposed to write. so girl, this one's for you :)
there is no end to the world; taemin watches it from their skyscraper-high apartment window and feels it expand under his gaze. the chaos on the roads below emits heavy energy, bursting through all the materialistic nonsense to touch at his fingertips. it runs a shiver down his spine.
he is but a breath away from where he used to be- the memories of past lives return to him overnight, infiltrating his dreams. he has gotten used to waking up with his chest heaving under the lack of oxygen. the memories make him forget to inhale the air his human body cannot go without.
sometimes he does not know how to distinguish reality from all his thoughts. it makes him nervous and blocks his word flow, always in the wrong situations. jinki corrects him along the way, always so patient. the leader’s input is but the beginning of it all.
they are not shining shinee without reason. they are not just five random guys with talent put together in the same group. it does not work like that.
fate has this thing for making things appear random and coincidental. people, places- the familiarity of everything makes everyday life seem like a low-humming drone, repetitive and straining. he smiles and waves at the camera, but the purpose is lost on him at times. all he knows is that he wants to dance.
“you’re getting there. they're following you,” jinki remarks one day when they are out for a photo shoot. he is referring to the butterfly that sits on his hand, resting its wings after hours of flight.
taemin stares at the creature, lifts his hand up in the air and spreads his fingers against the outline of the sun. the butterfly remains still, watchful. “it’s too early,” he answers, his innocent mind blocking the knowledge his soul is trying to convey. “there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“leave the kid alone,” kibum is stubborn, just like the soul that moves him. “he’s too young,” he adds, not meaning any harm. taemin respects both of their opinions equally.
jinki falls back into his human character, singing songs about chicken and nudging his shoulder to cheer him up. the butterfly takes off.
jonghyun has trouble understanding. before, he could not quite grasp the idea, the reality of the concept, until it was shoved down his throat. he was far too human, far too caught up with the impulses that surround them. once he had figured it out it had taken him weeks to get used to, struggling against the sudden pressure.
the pressure is something that reminds taemin that there is no escaping destiny. it is always there, always working in different ways, presenting opportunities he should not miss out on.
he has always known himself to be different from others; his passion for dancing has come naturally, far more so than breathing. he never listened to himself in the very beginning, simply accepting the pleasant turnabout of events that allowed him to become part of their group. it had to grow over the years and now it has become something he cannot ignore. once he has seen, he cannot unsee.
it started with thoughts. thoughts that came out of nowhere, that made no sense- unrelated to anything happening. he thought about flying, about light and feathers. sometimes he thought about dying and fire, but never in a way that scared him. these days, the thoughts are no longer simple indications; they are full-blown stories with beginnings and ends and underlying messages. they sound like music.
he remembers to breathe slowly to calm down his nerves before a show. his eyes get drawn to some people and he tries to understand the connection between his soul and theirs. every now and then there is someone whose eyes unlock a certain memory. he appears rude making eye contact, but he knows the soul is mirrored there. it does not always work in his advantage.
“hyung thinks this was meant to happen,” taemin says one night, after minho has injured himself. they sit in front of the window and it is far past their bedtime. the schedule says they have to be ready in five hours.
minho does not always respond immediately. the older man likes to think, which makes it all the more difficult for taemin to interact with him. he is used to kibum’s quick words which are directly given to him without going through the human thought process; he is used to jinki’s random wisdom and jonghyun’s moments of channelling a voice that can not only be ‘just talent’. minho is watchful and calm and knows how to play favourites.
“we all have our problems,” minho says after a while, not ready to accept what others think about this happening. he is blocked by his own natural urge to have the ability to perform, the urge that moves through him regardless of his strained ankle. he does not accept it.
taemin wants to laugh about it, for it sounds silly and makes his spirit light. he tries not to; minho could interpret it wrongly and the last thing they need is to fall out of synch with one another. so he tries; “hyung thinks it is a lesson. you have to learn,” he echoes jinki’s words and he trusts in them. he knows all there is to life is lessons, no matter how insignificant they seem.
“what lesson can I learn from this?” minho struggles, too caught up in the situation. he bases his thoughts solely on what he feels physically. to him there is only annoyance. “I’m not sure anymore,” he confesses absentmindedly.
time passes slowly. “you make it so black and white, but nothing works like that. maybe that is your lesson,” taemin answers, eyes coming to rest on the other man’s face. he can see minho is tired. “that despite your injury, there will be benefits if only you’d recognise them.”
there is silence between them again, until minho decides to come forth with his thoughts. “it gets difficult to believe and trust blindly. I only believe in what I can achieve. everything else is just the collected mess that tries to interfere.”
it sounds so final, taemin wants to shake the other man. “I think you’re wrong, hyung. everything is fate and your part in it is how you choose to interact with it.” on that note he leaves for bed. minho needs time to figure himself out.
jinki was the first to notice and when he did, his eyes followed taemin’s every move. he is much like a father and a brother, but first and foremost a leader; he devotes a lot of his time and attention to making sure the path is clear for them to walk on. he sides with taemin and smiles.
“you visited my dreams,” he tells when they are in the van and taemin knows the others are listening in on their conversation. “I saw you dance, I know you did.”
taemin becomes bashful under the other’s gaze, but nods anyway. “it was a nice dream.”
“you’re different,” jinki concludes, simply stating what he thinks, even though it bothers the others, sometimes. “I know you’re different and it’s okay. we're here because of you.” the words sound oddly filled with emotion so early in the morning. to his side, kibum chuckles.
“what are we now, slaves to the pretty face?” but kibum does not mean it like that, taemin can feel that. jonghyun laughs, but meets his eyes with a confidence that tells him he is aware, too. no one holds anything against taemin, but minho seems distant. minho is sidetracked.
in an attempt to help the other understand, taemin pulls minho to the side of the stage. not that he fully understands himself; there are a lot of pieces, coming from all five of them, which somewhat fit in a bigger picture. yet they are young and there is a lot left to unfold. his soul pushes him towards the other, before minho ends up trapped in the boundaries his mind creates.
“like stars,” taemin places his hands on top of the other’s upturned palms. minho is leaning against the wall, watching him silently. “like stars, hyung. we're a cluster and we move together. we can only move if all of us are synchronised-“
minho’s eyes darken. “are you placing blame? are you telling me-“
before it escalates, taemin quickly interrupts him. his eyes widen at the other man’s words and he needs to choose his words carefully now. “no! hyung, that is not what I’m saying. listen-“ he curls his fingers around the other man’s, holding his hands loosely.
“it’s not easy. every universe has problems- you got knocked out of orbit and you think that that’s just that, that you’re supposed to be angry about it because it makes you feel frustrated,” he leans in a little closer, knowing that the conversation would sound too weird if it was overheard by anyone. “and the more you focus on how frustrating it is, the further you drift away.”
the older man stays silent yet again, but he does not pull away. taemin knows he should not hand out his opinion and advice to those older than him, culturally speaking. it is not his place as a human, but his instinct tells him it has to be said. minho will forgive him.
“...so I’m getting sidetracked,” he concludes, expression calm as he watches taemin. the younger singer is glad minho chooses to approach his words carefully. “by my injury.”
“only if you want to,” taemin reminds him, giving his fingers a little squeeze. “that is free will. I cannot decide for hyung what to do, but I feel it might be heading the wrong way.”
without warning, minho pulls on his hands and wraps his arms around him in a hug. taemin sighs, a smile on his face as he buries his face against the other man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to get away from you,” minho admits in a soft tone. taemin knows it takes a lot of courage for him to do so.
“you’re far from gone,” taemin encourages. “just a little out of tune, that’s all.”
he drinks a tall glass of milk every day. nothing about milk or dairy is good for the human body- people have been deluded to think that they need the substance for stronger bones and healthier bodies. they ignore the cholesterol, the toxins and the cancer that comes with it, but he is different. his spirit is not human.
kibum makes sure he drinks all of it, but never touches it himself. none of the others do and taemin only comes to understand why after several years. he chokes on the next sip, eyes tearing up as he looks at kibum.
“come on taemin-ah, don’t worry about it so much,” the other man waves off the sentiment, but taemin feels how it affects him, too.
he does not want to cry, but the tears sting his eyes nonetheless. stubbornly he wipes at his eyes with his sleeve, one hand still clutching the half-finished glass as sobs threaten to break his control. eventually he cannot take it anymore and buries his face against his arms as he lets it all out.
kibum is warm, pulling him into an embrace when the others are not around. taemin is so thankful for his care that he fears he will never be able to express his gratitude, not to any of them. he also does not understand that the four of them cannot see that they are just like him, that they will be just like him, were they to give it some thought. instead, they praise him like being an idol to their fans is not enough already; instead, he just cries, shaking his head in disbelief.
“it is as jinki said,” kibum tries to calm him down. “we’re here because of you. you're the sun, little one.”
after all the stressful emotions have left his system, taemin downs the remainder of the milk confidently. kibum vows not to tell anyone, but taemin knows jinki will come to him later.
“so that is how it is,” jonghyun addresses him one evening when he is curled up on his bed with a book. at the singer’s words, he looks up and places the book aside.
“what is how what is?” he wonders, tilting his head some, but he has a vague idea what the other is talking about. it makes him a little nervous, because it is jonghyun.
jonghyun sits down on the edge of his bed, looking all sorts of held-back smiles and mischief. “you and our purpose. what we are all about. the butterflies and everything, about you being important on a different level.” it could be jealousy, but only if jonghyun understands it the wrong way.
so taemin shakes his head, looking down at his hands instead. “no, hyung... don’t make it sound like that,” he rubs his lips together, trying to find the right words to convey the feeling. jonghyun kicks his legs about, not knowing what to say, either. “it’s got nothing to do with importance, I hope you understand-“ he looks up at their praised vocalist, seeing only talent in everything the man does.
jonghyun grins, pulling his legs up on the bed. “no, it’s alright, really. I get that we’re all needed,” he waves his hand about. “you, me, kibum, tofu and even mister black hole. we're a bunch of stuff and we circle around each other and then stuff happens. something like that,” he laughs.
clutching a pillow to his chest, taemin laughs soundly. on days like these he is reminded of why they are a group; they need one another to remain sane.
the universe knows but the intent to learn. there is only progress, even in failure. every single decision has a reaction, consequences that lead to different paths and different truths. the road they have ended up on is longer and wider than their minds can grasp right now- there is only the bleed-through of emotions and memories, knowledge that is handed to them freely. the blanks are theirs to fill up. in this reality too, they have to create a synchronised ideal.
taemin has stopped asking why it is him, why he has to be the one, but even now that he has stopped asking, he still wonders at it. in his mind he tries to patch it all together; the images of past lives that tell of his long lost triumphs and the knowledge of something bigger, something higher. he knows he is, because he feels the way he wants to move even without thinking.
in another reality, taemin sighs and spreads his wings. his feathers are young and hollow and he cannot trust in them to carry his weight would he choose to take flight. he sits amidst flowers, gently dancing in the wind as it passes over the fields.
his human counterpart is becoming aware- with every breath he takes on the earthly plain his strength grows. eventually his wings will be strong enough to carry him to different places, but all he can do now is watch how a part of him decides to interact with reality through the limits of the 3D universe. every now and then he is able to reach through; mostly in dreams, he reminds himself of another existence. of the importance, the essence.
in realms below the one he resides in, his four allies rest. they are one evolutionary step away from entering his world, but he can talk to them through memories and sounds; visions far stronger and more interactive than those he can project onto the earth. his friends rely on him too, to take them through the natural process and guide them towards the ultimate unification of their thoughts.
the only breaths he draws on the astral plane are those that give life; puffs of air become carriers for souls, seeping through all the realms until they reach the earth where they take the shape of butterflies. it is the only hint he can give aside from dream projections, barely enough to awaken the natural urges in his earthbound body.
when he is on the stage, all nervousness goes away. the moment he moves his feet to a beat, he becomes synchronised with the vibration of sound. it is much the same when jonghyun and jinki sing, or when kibum and minho rhyme their words in time with a melody. sometimes when he lifts his body off the floor, be it only a jump, for a split second it feels like flying. he clings onto that feeling with all his might.
“will you forgive me?” minho asks, his injury barely healed. he insisted on practicing the dance routine alongside of them, but taemin knows it hurts when he has to turn on his heels. minho is pushing himself.
“is there anything to forgive?” taemin wonders, staring at the other with bright eyes. he reaches out for the other man’s hands and holds them- a familiar gesture he has come to find comforting and easy when communicating with the other. minho needs something to ground him.
“I was selfish,” minho reminds him, “and I didn’t want to listen to you, or jinki,” he adds. he looks sincere, but then again taemin hardly knows a different minho. though the man goes through his faults rapidly, he is always honest. so taemin shakes his head.
“it doesn’t matter. did you learn?”
minho hesitates. “I’m not sure. how can we be older and expected to lead you, will I ever get an answer to that?”
taemin just smiles. the other man is being silly again. “when will you stop treating me as if though I’m special?” he asks in return.
sure, everyone is special, but none of them is more so than others. even when they remind him countless times and even when he is reminded in his dreams, all the time, it does not necessarily have to make a difference. eventually, they will get where they are going and the goal is all the same. it is only through their group’s effort that they will be able to reach it, his purpose is solely to keep them all together. it has nothing to do with age.
“when will you realize that you are?” minho laughs, their eyes meeting.
“when will you realize that you are?” taemin retorts, pushing at the boundaries of their relationship. he forgets that he is supposed to show respect to his older friends simply because it does not make sense anymore, not when they are all equal.
“in another life, perhaps,” minho concludes, letting go of the other’s hands.
yet minho changes; taemin sees it in the way the man adjusts his manners and his worries. he understands how to approach things now, more so than jinki already did. taemin feels the ripple in the other’s energy and how it shoots up like a reversed falling star. he is letting go of the boundaries more rapidly than anyone he has ever seen.
underneath his breath, he mumbles; “awakening.” for a couple of minutes he is fascinated by the turn of events.
kibum hits his arm playfully and starts dragging him towards the stage. “stop saying weird things. let’s go steal some hearts.”
minho’s soul arrives on a blue butterfly. it flies around his head until it comes to rest on his palm. amused, taemin plays with it for a while until the man indicates wanting to take a more physical shape. he nods, takes his distance and watches how the other appears. flowers raise their petals to welcome him.
“you just needed a nudge,” taemin concludes, laughing as his friend moves up to him and embraces him. he sighs and closes his eyes, leaning against the other. “taemin will be happy,” he says, referring to his human counterpart.
“he will have to share his milk,” minho reminds the other, but he laughs too. “it will take time…”
“everything takes time,” taemin says, pressing his lips to the other’s ear. “but time is nothing. we can give them nothing.”
milk is the drink of the gods and the video for ring ding dong inspired this story. it might seem odd and I guess it is a little different from your usual read, but I like including symbolism in my writing. the title is actually taken from Tablo’s song ‘lesson one’.