Quiet
It seems frequent that I just kinda drop off the face of the Internet without any sort of notice nowadays. I mean, I do have enough free time to do stuff but I never really want to interact with people unless I absolutely have to (e.g. classmates, my new-sorta friends at my new school) and then not being required to talk to friends online is even worse because, yes, I do want to talk but at the same time I don't want to.
I think this is mainly because I'm stressed? The fact that university years are just around the corner is weighing on me immensely with trying to figure out what universities I want to apply to and also what majors/minors and careers I'd like to go into. And I'm an officer of a club at my new school and I'm also in a club that's going to be running an event in collab with that club but the teacher who is helping us run only wants senior officers of the club to help run so I've basically been put in charge to running the entire event since I have to make decisions for both the club and the class. I'm not even supposed to be running the event at all but my teacher is putting pressure on me and then something messed up with it yesterday and she's been pointedly blaming me for it and I'm just the Historian, a lower officer position. All I'm supposed to do is take picture to record events. I'm not supposed to be in charge of an entire event and I never signed up to be. There's also that being surrounded by 1000+ noisy, rowdy uncouth(cursing and bad attitudes abundant) students for 2/3 of my day is starting to really freak me out because people and it's always so loud and noisy.
I just want to cry a little bit at times. I just want to have a moment of alone and relative quiet.
... And I believe I derailed entirely from how this post first started out with. Great.
I think this is mainly because I'm stressed? The fact that university years are just around the corner is weighing on me immensely with trying to figure out what universities I want to apply to and also what majors/minors and careers I'd like to go into. And I'm an officer of a club at my new school and I'm also in a club that's going to be running an event in collab with that club but the teacher who is helping us run only wants senior officers of the club to help run so I've basically been put in charge to running the entire event since I have to make decisions for both the club and the class. I'm not even supposed to be running the event at all but my teacher is putting pressure on me and then something messed up with it yesterday and she's been pointedly blaming me for it and I'm just the Historian, a lower officer position. All I'm supposed to do is take picture to record events. I'm not supposed to be in charge of an entire event and I never signed up to be. There's also that being surrounded by 1000+ noisy, rowdy uncouth(cursing and bad attitudes abundant) students for 2/3 of my day is starting to really freak me out because people and it's always so loud and noisy.
I just want to cry a little bit at times. I just want to have a moment of alone and relative quiet.
... And I believe I derailed entirely from how this post first started out with. Great.