at the oddest hours i find that the doors, weed, alcohol, and tobacco combine to create a scent that permeates my hazy mind and makes me think that the doors will never be quite the same after this summer. at least the fall can be looked forward to.

by the way, i leave for nyc sext friday... the last of the girls.

jesus fucking christ ( Read more... )

in a span of four hours my life has been completely fucked up. in four hours i've had every drop of happiness sucked right out of me and the only thing left is this hollow thing. god, i fucking hate myself, no one is to blame but me. death has never looked so appealing than now.

before anyone has cause for concern, i will have everyone know i am not feeling depressed as i write this... just fucking pissed, annoyed, and stressed. as i was driving in dylan yesterday, "mr. jones" came on and it obviously summoned all these memories from new york and it reminded me that tess was leaving the next day. i had this sudden burst of ( Read more... )

ONE ( Read more... )

i knew how long it had been since the last time. i knew the months, weeks, days that had passed since i gave into it. 8 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days since then. and in that time i can still remember so vividly what it felt like... the rush, the sting, the adrenaline, the burn, the guilt, the absolute... sick pleasure i got off on from it. maybe i'm ( Read more... )

patrick once told me that all of life's accomplishments are worth less than rat shit when you're dead... i called him a buzz kill and cynical. now, a year and a half later i think back on that statement. i stll think its a buzz kill and cynical but i do see truth within it. but instead of looking at this truth in the light of sartre's depressed and ( Read more... )

so... i didn't really like muse. their music style wasn't really mine. but then... last night i saw muse live at the greek and it was... FUCKING AMAZING!!!!! holy shit to the feel the energy and sound coming from stage, it got my adrenaline rushing. it was beautiful and so fucking memorable. o god... muse

what happened when i was in high school and the opposite gender were so complex? now i see that they are anything but complex and in fact, rather basic. and because of their simplicity... i am completely lost yet once more. i know what they want, i know they like me... but why the fuck can't this be simpler?! ok, i like you, you like me, let's get ( Read more... )

the new killers song is absolutely beautiful, the imagery and poetry is so... original and unique. so biblical. life is treating me well until my return to new york where if you can make it there you can make it anywhere. my love for tool is quickly overwhelming my entire conscious and obssession. o how i love music!