(no subject)
Hello,
I haven't written anything in a while. I've been exhausted over school and it took a while for me to get the energy/inspiration to write anything.
I've come to the realisation that the friends I thought I had last year, don't really seem all that interested in being my friend. Granted I'm not terrible good at being a friend, but I would have thought the few years of interaction with them would count for something at least?
I'm not terribly broken up about it I guess? I sort of had the feeling that something like that was going to happen when I moved out to live on my own (when they decided to move out together as just a couple, something about not wanting to lose anymore friends, which to me sounds a bit flimsy because in a sense, they've sort of lost me anyway? I'm tried not to be bitter over their decision at the time since it kinda felt like I was being thrown off a boat/drowning or something.)
This I think comes at time when i'm contemplating how I'm going to spend my birthday this year. Last year's was a spectacular celebration with them. This year feels like it's going to be a very solitary one.
This losing friends thing seems to happen every year. I've lost a few friends I thought I was close to but in reality, perhaps not. Maybe I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. (I try not to be an annoyance by bothering people all the time, and I keep thinking if they wanted to keep in touch, they'd be making an effort too yeah?)
I'm trying not to be bitter. I'm not I think. I'm just sort of tired of it. I'm used to being on my own after staying on my own for the past couple of months. But tbh, it's getting me into horrible habits of talking to myself in public, rambling to my cat at strange times and all sorts of things I really shouldn't be doing.
There are friends I treasure though. Friends that I talk to almost every day, (well, in reality it's just you sunflower_mynah.) There are friends that I can go for years without talking, yet the first time we meet in years, it's like those years never existed (this is to you guys: aulait, alldoubtaboutit, tofucheeks and Cyn whom I can't seem to find on my lj friends list)
This is what I always think friendship should be like. It unfortunately, doesn't seem to be anything I've found here in Melbourne so far. Perhaps the way we collide isn't at the right speed, direction or time for us to be friends properly. Perhaps in a sense, we don't click.
I really did think at one point that we did though. That perhaps is the tragedy here, the difference between what it could have been and what it really is.
Anyway.
This song:
I am in love. This is the music that sends tingles down my spine. Not the ramble I hear so often on the radio. I'm sure what they play is brilliant to some, but to me it's boring and repetitive.
I do need to stop pushing the play button though. It's likely to drive up my usage and I was hoping to save it for games now that I have the proper hardware to play games. Can't lie though, the sound of electric guitars is addictive *_*
I haven't written anything in a while. I've been exhausted over school and it took a while for me to get the energy/inspiration to write anything.
I've come to the realisation that the friends I thought I had last year, don't really seem all that interested in being my friend. Granted I'm not terrible good at being a friend, but I would have thought the few years of interaction with them would count for something at least?
I'm not terribly broken up about it I guess? I sort of had the feeling that something like that was going to happen when I moved out to live on my own (when they decided to move out together as just a couple, something about not wanting to lose anymore friends, which to me sounds a bit flimsy because in a sense, they've sort of lost me anyway? I'm tried not to be bitter over their decision at the time since it kinda felt like I was being thrown off a boat/drowning or something.)
This I think comes at time when i'm contemplating how I'm going to spend my birthday this year. Last year's was a spectacular celebration with them. This year feels like it's going to be a very solitary one.
This losing friends thing seems to happen every year. I've lost a few friends I thought I was close to but in reality, perhaps not. Maybe I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. (I try not to be an annoyance by bothering people all the time, and I keep thinking if they wanted to keep in touch, they'd be making an effort too yeah?)
I'm trying not to be bitter. I'm not I think. I'm just sort of tired of it. I'm used to being on my own after staying on my own for the past couple of months. But tbh, it's getting me into horrible habits of talking to myself in public, rambling to my cat at strange times and all sorts of things I really shouldn't be doing.
There are friends I treasure though. Friends that I talk to almost every day, (well, in reality it's just you sunflower_mynah.) There are friends that I can go for years without talking, yet the first time we meet in years, it's like those years never existed (this is to you guys: aulait, alldoubtaboutit, tofucheeks and Cyn whom I can't seem to find on my lj friends list)
This is what I always think friendship should be like. It unfortunately, doesn't seem to be anything I've found here in Melbourne so far. Perhaps the way we collide isn't at the right speed, direction or time for us to be friends properly. Perhaps in a sense, we don't click.
I really did think at one point that we did though. That perhaps is the tragedy here, the difference between what it could have been and what it really is.
Anyway.
This song:
Click to viewI am in love. This is the music that sends tingles down my spine. Not the ramble I hear so often on the radio. I'm sure what they play is brilliant to some, but to me it's boring and repetitive.
I do need to stop pushing the play button though. It's likely to drive up my usage and I was hoping to save it for games now that I have the proper hardware to play games. Can't lie though, the sound of electric guitars is addictive *_*