{FT Island/AOA} A Prelude to Goodbye
Genre: romance, angst
Pairing: Choa/Jaejin, Jaejin/Mina
Word Count: 2k+
Rating: G
Summary: He’s always had a solution to every problem, but she’s the equation that he can never seem to solve.
Warning: unbeta'd
a/n: A side story to “The End of Our Story”
a/n2: cliché stories are cliché, I am so sorry
---
Jaejin never liked coffee; he was more of a carbonated drinks guy. That’s why when Choa made him a cup of expresso (“To help you stay awake”, she had said) as they were pulling an all-nighter two nights before their final exams for their first year in high school. He precariously held the cup on one hand, pretending to wait for it to cool.
Choa had slumped over the book she was reading, and after a while of silence, he was about to shake her awake when she suddenly held his hand in hers, eyes still closed. “Please… Don’t go…”
He stared at her sleeping face and marveled at how she could look so serene while sleeping yet quite the opposite while awake.
He still likes her despite that, though
He brushed away a stray strand of hair from her face and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”
She smiled then, and he couldn’t help but marvel at how beautiful she was, but not really. He stretched out his other hand, about to touch her cheek, but stopped himself.
No, this isn’t supposed to happen, she’s my best friend. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.
His hand dropped to his side and he sighed in defeat. He wouldn’t want to risk their friendship for that. He was a man of skepticism after all: a man who prefers assurance and doesn’t like taking risks.
He downed the contents of the cup in one go and almost choked with the drink’s bitter taste.
---
Her hair still had the same style and color. She still wore the same type of clothes she wore back in high school. Walking towards her, he couldn’t help but remember those days they spent together in the convenience store buying food before going on a studying spree at Jaejin’s house before studying for finals. She still looked the same, but her eyes lost the glow that it used to have. Was she sad? But why? She had everything that she had hoped for back then. But why does she still look unhappy?
“Choa-ya!” he called, the endearment feeling foreign in his tongue as he hadn’t been using it for quite some time.
His thoughts about this matter disappeared, however, as she spotted him and waved for him to come over. He noticed that the sunken expression in her face disappeared and was replaced by a smile that reminded him of the fireflies they often saw when they walked along the riverbank at night time whenever they felt like going out.
“So… How are you?” He asked.
“I’m okay.” She kept her answer short, not trusting the words that may come out of her mouth.
He chose to tell her what he had meant to in the first place. “I’m getting married.” It should have been you
Choa’s smiled faltered a bit, but he didn’t notice it. He’s always seen, but he never saw enough.
He never saw that she loved him too.
“We’re getting married in six months.”
And she never saw that he used to love her back. And maybe in the deepest corners of his heart, he still did.
“Awesome!” she smiled and clapped him on the back, even though her heart was breaking into pieces. “So, who’s the lucky girl?”
He turned to call the girl standing a few feet away from them. “Mina?” She beamed at them-that same smile that made him notice her-and greeted Choa. She greeted back, and Jaejin couldn’t help but sigh in relief that Mina and Choa seemed to be okay with each other. He definitely didn’t want that the girl he was going to marry wasn’t on nice terms with his best friend. Well that is, if Choa still considered him as her best friends.
Choa smiled, and they chatted up a bit before they proceeded to take a seat, Mina talking animatedly about how she met Jaejin for the first time and all that, filling Choa in with all the details. Choa nodded with a smile at everything Mina had to say, and Jaejin thought that maybe he made the right decision. Maybe he was right that he didn’t act on his feelings. Because if he hadn’t done that, they wouldn’t have been here, together under the roof of a cozy café, with his beautiful fiancée.
But despite the years of friendship they had, he didn’t see through her mask. He hadn’t noticed the tired look in her eyes, didn’t see that the smile she gave them didn’t quite reach her eyes. He didn’t receive the telepathic messages Choa was sending him, telling him to help her get out of this situation because it just hurts-just really hurts that she couldn’t breathe. He didn’t see how much she wanted to cry then and there and scream for them to stop-because what hurt her more than seeing the guy that she loved be engaged with someone else was seeing him being happy with her. She had loved him, after all.
And she still did. Despite all those years, she still did.
---
“Why aren’t you with Mina today?” Choa asked him as she was tying a ribbon around one of Jaejin and Mina’s wedding invitations. Some time back then, Jaejin had imagined Choa and him having stomach aches from having had eaten too many cakes from the pool of samples that they were supposed to choose from for their wedding cake. Some time back then, Jaejin had imagined Choa in a white bridal gown, veil covering her face but not masking the smile on her lips as she walked down the aisle as he waited for her at the other end, arms ready to take her hand in his. Sometime back then, he imagined Choa giving him kisses that were sweeter than the cakes that she used to make, writing books about him and professing her eternal love for him through the written word-or maybe even have acknowledgment pages of book after book filled with his name.
But some time back then, he decided to go to the best university and leave Choa behind, only to meet Mina in the process.
Jaejin sighed deeply, plopping down on a chair beside her, putting his cup of coffee on the table. “She’s mad at me because she wants “Growl” as the background music for the wedding march.”
“But that’s not-“Choa started, but Jaejin cut her off, already fully having knowledge of what she was about to say. Just like the old times.
Except that things were different now, and it’s not really like the old times anymore.
“I know, I know. That’s what I told her. But she just won’t listen because it’s her favorite song, and I… I just don’t what to do…” He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. It was definitely not helping that Mina was a stubborn girl who always got what she wanted.
“Well, you can always dance away to the chorus part as you enter the church. I could even contact EXO for you, and have Suho-ssi as your priest.” Choa suggested. Jaejin looked at her as if she was going crazy, (but indeed, she was going crazy from all that was happening), but then he burst in laughter, and Choa couldn’t help but laugh along too.
The laughter faded, along with Choa’s smile. “Do you love her?” A pause. A moment’s reluctance. A flicker of hesitance in his eyes.
“Yes.” Came the answer. It used to be you.
She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but think that if it would have been Choa instead, if he just had confessed to her that day, it might be that it was the two of them who were getting married. “Then tell her.” She stood up and dusted off her pants before holding out her hand to him. “C’mon, before it’s too late.”
Jaejin took her hand in his and pretended that they were going to walk down the aisle one last time. Just one last time, before he starts erasing those delusional thoughts. Because now, he had Mina. Now, he had someone he loved that he was getting married too. Now, he wouldn’t have had to hide behind the closed doors of his room because of his failed attempts to confess.
But he didn’t love Mina as much as he had loved Choa. He never could.
---
He excused himself from the crowd, disentangling his hand from his newly-declared wife despite her protests. “It’ll only take a minute, I promise.” He said, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead. She blushed, and nodded in agreement.
Choa was staring off into the distance, eyes glassy as if she was remembering some distant memory that could never be regained. But he never knew that he was that distant memory, and that he could still have been regained. If only he got the nerve to ask. “You still okay?” When she didn’t reply, he sat beside her and attempted to hand her the water bottle once more. “You looked like you could use a drink.”
“No, I’m okay.” She muttered, making Jaejin wonder as to why his friend looked grumpy. Wasn’t she supposed to be happy that I got married? Wasn’t she supposed to be happy that she’ll finally be able to get rid of me?
But he forgot the fact that they haven’t seen each other for quite some time now and if getting rid of him was her problem, then it had already been done
“Are you sure?” he sounded uncertain, even in his own ears. “You sound unusually quiet.” She simply nodded at his question, and he couldn’t help but rake his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Great, she probably hates my guts for making her sing in a wedding she probably didn’t want to take part in.” he thought to himself. And for once, he was right.
He placed the water bottle between the two of them and stood up, dusting off the non-existent dirt on his slacks. “Well then,” he stood up. “I’m going back in. Do you wanna come with me?” he held out his hand for her to take.
Instead of the usual response of taking his hand with a smile, she shook her head and didn’t take his hand instead. “I need a bit of fresh air. Singing twenty songs straight is a tiring feat, you know?”
He let his hand slack off and fall to his side, nodding. “Yes, of course. I understand. I’ll be going then.” He walked back to where his wife was waiting, hand hovering over the doorknob. But a cold gust of wind greeted him as droplets of rain started to fall from the sky and he stopped dead on his tracks.
He looked back in her direction and felt a pang of sadness wash over him. At that moment, Choa strangely looked exactly like the seemingly-fragile and delicate girl that he had 13 years back, in a place called Lover’s Lane. The first time he saw her, he had that sudden urge of wanting to protect her, but it was her who had saved him from falling off the tree when he climbed up to fetch his kite instead.
He remembered their whispered promises and seemingly-surreal dreams of the time forgotten. But there was one promise that he forgot to keep, and one dream that he wasn’t able to achieve.
“Choa and Jaejin forever, okay?” her smiling face haunted him.
He looked up at the dark sky, clouds thickened by the water vapor that had built up. In a way, the rain reminded him of Choa: of how they used to run together to seek shelter from those icy raindrops; how they would scoop up some rainwater in their hands and flick them at each other; how they used to walk under the rain, with him holding her umbrella as they squeezed together under its protection.
He saw a track of glistening tears coming from Choa’s eye, and he knew that she never forgot their promise unlike he did. He had the urge to go to her and wipe her tears away with the pad of his thumb, to comfort her with a song that he had composed for her the first time he realized that he was in love. But he didn’t. Because up until now, he was a coward.
“I hope that even though a lot of things have changed these past few years, you’ll never forget the memories we once shared.” She whispered to the wind.
He shook his head and whispered, “How could I ever forget about you, stupid girl? You’re my first and greatest love.”
And you always will be. Until the very end.
Thunder rumbled, and Choa squeaked in fear. She has never liked storms that much. Jaejin took a tentative step forward, and seeing that tendrils of smoke didn’t appear at his foot and licked at his ankles to teleport him straight to hell (because really, he felt guilty for leaving her and felt that he didn’t deserve her forgiveness), he went directly to her and hugged her from behind.
Choa was obviously shocked, clearly not expecting his presence and what he did, but she turned to face him with tears in her eyes and hugged him back.
Because even if Jaejin hadn’t fulfilled his dream of marrying Choa, he would make sure that he would never forget to fulfill his promise.
“Yep, Choa and Jaejin forever.” He recalled his answer before he took Choa’s pinkie finger in his that time.
---
Pairing: Choa/Jaejin, Jaejin/Mina
Word Count: 2k+
Rating: G
Summary: He’s always had a solution to every problem, but she’s the equation that he can never seem to solve.
Warning: unbeta'd
a/n: A side story to “The End of Our Story”
a/n2: cliché stories are cliché, I am so sorry
---
Jaejin never liked coffee; he was more of a carbonated drinks guy. That’s why when Choa made him a cup of expresso (“To help you stay awake”, she had said) as they were pulling an all-nighter two nights before their final exams for their first year in high school. He precariously held the cup on one hand, pretending to wait for it to cool.
Choa had slumped over the book she was reading, and after a while of silence, he was about to shake her awake when she suddenly held his hand in hers, eyes still closed. “Please… Don’t go…”
He stared at her sleeping face and marveled at how she could look so serene while sleeping yet quite the opposite while awake.
He still likes her despite that, though
He brushed away a stray strand of hair from her face and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”
She smiled then, and he couldn’t help but marvel at how beautiful she was, but not really. He stretched out his other hand, about to touch her cheek, but stopped himself.
No, this isn’t supposed to happen, she’s my best friend. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.
His hand dropped to his side and he sighed in defeat. He wouldn’t want to risk their friendship for that. He was a man of skepticism after all: a man who prefers assurance and doesn’t like taking risks.
He downed the contents of the cup in one go and almost choked with the drink’s bitter taste.
---
Her hair still had the same style and color. She still wore the same type of clothes she wore back in high school. Walking towards her, he couldn’t help but remember those days they spent together in the convenience store buying food before going on a studying spree at Jaejin’s house before studying for finals. She still looked the same, but her eyes lost the glow that it used to have. Was she sad? But why? She had everything that she had hoped for back then. But why does she still look unhappy?
“Choa-ya!” he called, the endearment feeling foreign in his tongue as he hadn’t been using it for quite some time.
His thoughts about this matter disappeared, however, as she spotted him and waved for him to come over. He noticed that the sunken expression in her face disappeared and was replaced by a smile that reminded him of the fireflies they often saw when they walked along the riverbank at night time whenever they felt like going out.
“So… How are you?” He asked.
“I’m okay.” She kept her answer short, not trusting the words that may come out of her mouth.
He chose to tell her what he had meant to in the first place. “I’m getting married.” It should have been you
Choa’s smiled faltered a bit, but he didn’t notice it. He’s always seen, but he never saw enough.
He never saw that she loved him too.
“We’re getting married in six months.”
And she never saw that he used to love her back. And maybe in the deepest corners of his heart, he still did.
“Awesome!” she smiled and clapped him on the back, even though her heart was breaking into pieces. “So, who’s the lucky girl?”
He turned to call the girl standing a few feet away from them. “Mina?” She beamed at them-that same smile that made him notice her-and greeted Choa. She greeted back, and Jaejin couldn’t help but sigh in relief that Mina and Choa seemed to be okay with each other. He definitely didn’t want that the girl he was going to marry wasn’t on nice terms with his best friend. Well that is, if Choa still considered him as her best friends.
Choa smiled, and they chatted up a bit before they proceeded to take a seat, Mina talking animatedly about how she met Jaejin for the first time and all that, filling Choa in with all the details. Choa nodded with a smile at everything Mina had to say, and Jaejin thought that maybe he made the right decision. Maybe he was right that he didn’t act on his feelings. Because if he hadn’t done that, they wouldn’t have been here, together under the roof of a cozy café, with his beautiful fiancée.
But despite the years of friendship they had, he didn’t see through her mask. He hadn’t noticed the tired look in her eyes, didn’t see that the smile she gave them didn’t quite reach her eyes. He didn’t receive the telepathic messages Choa was sending him, telling him to help her get out of this situation because it just hurts-just really hurts that she couldn’t breathe. He didn’t see how much she wanted to cry then and there and scream for them to stop-because what hurt her more than seeing the guy that she loved be engaged with someone else was seeing him being happy with her. She had loved him, after all.
And she still did. Despite all those years, she still did.
---
“Why aren’t you with Mina today?” Choa asked him as she was tying a ribbon around one of Jaejin and Mina’s wedding invitations. Some time back then, Jaejin had imagined Choa and him having stomach aches from having had eaten too many cakes from the pool of samples that they were supposed to choose from for their wedding cake. Some time back then, Jaejin had imagined Choa in a white bridal gown, veil covering her face but not masking the smile on her lips as she walked down the aisle as he waited for her at the other end, arms ready to take her hand in his. Sometime back then, he imagined Choa giving him kisses that were sweeter than the cakes that she used to make, writing books about him and professing her eternal love for him through the written word-or maybe even have acknowledgment pages of book after book filled with his name.
But some time back then, he decided to go to the best university and leave Choa behind, only to meet Mina in the process.
Jaejin sighed deeply, plopping down on a chair beside her, putting his cup of coffee on the table. “She’s mad at me because she wants “Growl” as the background music for the wedding march.”
“But that’s not-“Choa started, but Jaejin cut her off, already fully having knowledge of what she was about to say. Just like the old times.
Except that things were different now, and it’s not really like the old times anymore.
“I know, I know. That’s what I told her. But she just won’t listen because it’s her favorite song, and I… I just don’t what to do…” He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. It was definitely not helping that Mina was a stubborn girl who always got what she wanted.
“Well, you can always dance away to the chorus part as you enter the church. I could even contact EXO for you, and have Suho-ssi as your priest.” Choa suggested. Jaejin looked at her as if she was going crazy, (but indeed, she was going crazy from all that was happening), but then he burst in laughter, and Choa couldn’t help but laugh along too.
The laughter faded, along with Choa’s smile. “Do you love her?” A pause. A moment’s reluctance. A flicker of hesitance in his eyes.
“Yes.” Came the answer. It used to be you.
She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but think that if it would have been Choa instead, if he just had confessed to her that day, it might be that it was the two of them who were getting married. “Then tell her.” She stood up and dusted off her pants before holding out her hand to him. “C’mon, before it’s too late.”
Jaejin took her hand in his and pretended that they were going to walk down the aisle one last time. Just one last time, before he starts erasing those delusional thoughts. Because now, he had Mina. Now, he had someone he loved that he was getting married too. Now, he wouldn’t have had to hide behind the closed doors of his room because of his failed attempts to confess.
But he didn’t love Mina as much as he had loved Choa. He never could.
---
He excused himself from the crowd, disentangling his hand from his newly-declared wife despite her protests. “It’ll only take a minute, I promise.” He said, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead. She blushed, and nodded in agreement.
Choa was staring off into the distance, eyes glassy as if she was remembering some distant memory that could never be regained. But he never knew that he was that distant memory, and that he could still have been regained. If only he got the nerve to ask. “You still okay?” When she didn’t reply, he sat beside her and attempted to hand her the water bottle once more. “You looked like you could use a drink.”
“No, I’m okay.” She muttered, making Jaejin wonder as to why his friend looked grumpy. Wasn’t she supposed to be happy that I got married? Wasn’t she supposed to be happy that she’ll finally be able to get rid of me?
But he forgot the fact that they haven’t seen each other for quite some time now and if getting rid of him was her problem, then it had already been done
“Are you sure?” he sounded uncertain, even in his own ears. “You sound unusually quiet.” She simply nodded at his question, and he couldn’t help but rake his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Great, she probably hates my guts for making her sing in a wedding she probably didn’t want to take part in.” he thought to himself. And for once, he was right.
He placed the water bottle between the two of them and stood up, dusting off the non-existent dirt on his slacks. “Well then,” he stood up. “I’m going back in. Do you wanna come with me?” he held out his hand for her to take.
Instead of the usual response of taking his hand with a smile, she shook her head and didn’t take his hand instead. “I need a bit of fresh air. Singing twenty songs straight is a tiring feat, you know?”
He let his hand slack off and fall to his side, nodding. “Yes, of course. I understand. I’ll be going then.” He walked back to where his wife was waiting, hand hovering over the doorknob. But a cold gust of wind greeted him as droplets of rain started to fall from the sky and he stopped dead on his tracks.
He looked back in her direction and felt a pang of sadness wash over him. At that moment, Choa strangely looked exactly like the seemingly-fragile and delicate girl that he had 13 years back, in a place called Lover’s Lane. The first time he saw her, he had that sudden urge of wanting to protect her, but it was her who had saved him from falling off the tree when he climbed up to fetch his kite instead.
He remembered their whispered promises and seemingly-surreal dreams of the time forgotten. But there was one promise that he forgot to keep, and one dream that he wasn’t able to achieve.
“Choa and Jaejin forever, okay?” her smiling face haunted him.
He looked up at the dark sky, clouds thickened by the water vapor that had built up. In a way, the rain reminded him of Choa: of how they used to run together to seek shelter from those icy raindrops; how they would scoop up some rainwater in their hands and flick them at each other; how they used to walk under the rain, with him holding her umbrella as they squeezed together under its protection.
He saw a track of glistening tears coming from Choa’s eye, and he knew that she never forgot their promise unlike he did. He had the urge to go to her and wipe her tears away with the pad of his thumb, to comfort her with a song that he had composed for her the first time he realized that he was in love. But he didn’t. Because up until now, he was a coward.
“I hope that even though a lot of things have changed these past few years, you’ll never forget the memories we once shared.” She whispered to the wind.
He shook his head and whispered, “How could I ever forget about you, stupid girl? You’re my first and greatest love.”
And you always will be. Until the very end.
Thunder rumbled, and Choa squeaked in fear. She has never liked storms that much. Jaejin took a tentative step forward, and seeing that tendrils of smoke didn’t appear at his foot and licked at his ankles to teleport him straight to hell (because really, he felt guilty for leaving her and felt that he didn’t deserve her forgiveness), he went directly to her and hugged her from behind.
Choa was obviously shocked, clearly not expecting his presence and what he did, but she turned to face him with tears in her eyes and hugged him back.
Because even if Jaejin hadn’t fulfilled his dream of marrying Choa, he would make sure that he would never forget to fulfill his promise.
“Yep, Choa and Jaejin forever.” He recalled his answer before he took Choa’s pinkie finger in his that time.
---