/ disclaimer: i am no professional. these are just some of the helpful/common terms/concepts i put together for my own use/knowledge. i do not own any of them, credit goes to the rightful sources. /
Ace - Short for asexual. **
Ace of Hearts - A symbol or nickname for asexuals who experience romantic attraction.
Ace of Spades - A symbol or nickname for asexuals who are aromantic.
Acephobia - Prejudice or discrimination against asexual-spectrum people.
Acevague / Arovague - Describes when your status as an asexual/aromantic person is heavily influenced (in whole or part) by your status as a neurodivergent person.
Acoromantic / Acrosexual - Experiencing romantic/sexual attraction that one wants to act on, at the same time having a strong aversion to engaging in a romantic/sexual relationship due to bad experiences, apprehension, or other misgivings about being involved in romantic/sexual relationships.
Adfecturomantic / Adfectusexual / Affecturomantic / Adfomantic - Describes someone whose romantic/sexual attraction is affected by one’s neurodivergency, especially fluctuating moods, personality disorders, and effects from PTSD / being a trauma survivor.
Aegoromantic / Autochorisromantic - Describes someone who enjoys the idea of romance, but not wishing to be a participant in romantic activities (based off of autochorissexual / a disconnection between oneself and a romantic target or fantasy).
Aegosexual / Autochorissexual - A disconnection between oneself and a sexucal target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in sexual activities. Commonly found in asexual people; an analogous feeling may occur in aromantic people for romantic fantasies. [
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Aesthetic Attraction - An interest or desire to look at someone and appreciate their appearance, but which isn’t necessarily sexual or romantic.
Agender - Someone who feels gender neutral, or experiences a 'lack' of gender.
Akoi(ne)romantic / Lithromantic - Experiencing romantic love without desire for reciprocation.
Akoi(ne)sexual / Lith(o)sexual - Experiencing sexual attraction without desire for reciprocation. [
more info ]
Alloromantic / Allosexual - A person who experiences romantic/sexual attraction to other people; someone who is not in the aromantic/asexual spectrum, a non-aromantic/non-asexual person.
Allosexism - Belief or assumption that being allosexual is the only way to be, or best way to be.
Alterous - Experiences attraction that can only be described as a desire for emotional closeness because neither romantic or platonic attraction is accurate, is intended to be used in place of romantic or platonic. [
more info ]
Amatonormativity - The social force that treats romantic relationships as intrinsically superior, more valuable, or more necessary than friendships and non-romantic relationships. A problem for everyone, but especially aromantic people.
Androromantic - Romantically attracted to masculinity.
Antisexual - Ideologically opposed to sex, or having negative views of other people’s sexual lifestyles. Related to slut-shaming.
Apothiromantic / Apothisexual - a term for someone under the aromantic/asexual umbrella who is specifically romance/sex repulsed. It’s simply an easier term to say romance/sex repulsed aromantic/asexual.
Aro - Short for aromantic.
Aromantic / Asexual - A person who does not experience romantic/sexual attraction.
Aromantic Spectrum - The set of all people who are aromantic, gray-romantic, demiromantic, lithromantic, or who have aromantic tendencies.
Aromate - A platonic friend who’s pretty much your soulmate but in a friend way. For exmaple, you’d totally hold their hand and take them out to movies, no romo.
Arospec - Aromantics go by aro, people on the aromantic spectrum go by arospec (aros included).
Aroflux - Describes a person who fluctuates along the aromantic spectrum, between aromantic to alloromantic (arofluid could be used if it’s a fluid transition).
Asexophobia / Asexualphobia - See Acephobia.
Asexual Spectrum - The set of all people who are asexual, gray-asexual, demisexual, or who have asexual tendencies.
Asexy - Describes a person or thing who is cool, excellent, or attractive in a non-sexual way. Also a complimentary descriptor for asexual people in general.
Bellusromantic - A romantic orientation where you're fine with cute fluffy stuff with anyone but you don't want a relationship at all. Not necessarily arospec identitiy, similar to nonamory.
Bi-curious - A heterosexual person interested in having a sexual experience with a person of the same sex.
Bigender - Someone who identifies as two seperate genders.
Biromantic / Bisexual - Potential to feel romantic/sexual attraction to two or more genders. Biromantic/sexual orientations are also frequently described as feeling attraction to “the same and different” genders.
Caedromantic / Caedsexual - Describes someone whose romantic/sexual orientation incorporates the specific feeling that one once was alloromantic/sexual, but that has been “cut away” or taken from them due to past trauma (for trauma survivors/PTSD sufferers only).
Cisgender - Someone who identifies as the gender that they were assigned at birth. Often shortened to cis.
Compulsory Sexuality - The cultural force that expects all people to be either sexually available or in a sexual relationship, and which expects sex to be an important value or goal for all people. Heterosexuality is especially valued. A major problem for asexual people.
Corrective Rape - Sexual assault done with the intent to change someone’s sexual or romantic orientation. People who are not straight or cisgender, including asexual people, are sometimes victimized by corrective rape.
Cross Dressing - The practice or act of dressing as the other gender.
Crush - Based on romantic attraction, a strong desire to be romantically close to or have a romantic relationship with a specfic person. [
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Cupioromantic / Cupiosexual - Describes someone not romantically/sexually attracted to anyone, but desiring to form a romantic/sexual relationship. Was known as kalosromantic/kalossexual.
Demigirl / Demiwoman - Identifying partially as a girl/woman, but not wholly.
Demiboy / Demiguy - Identifying partially as a boy/man, but not wholly.
Demiromantic / Demisexual - A person who can only feel romantic/sexual attraction to someone they have established a close emotional connection with.
Dfab - Designated female at birth.
Dmab - Designated male at birth.
Drag - The practice or act of dressing, an exaggeration of gendered norms performance. It's usually used for satire or commentary and lip-syncing.
Drag Kings - Are usually females who dress in masculine drag and personify male gender stereotypes as part of their routine. Drag kings often perform as exaggeratedly macho portray marginalized masculinities.
Drag Queens - Are usually males who dress in drag and often acts with exaggerated femininity and in feminine gender roles. Often they will exaggerate certain characteristics such as make-up and eyelashes for comic, dramatic or satirical effect.
Frayromantic / Fraysexual - A person who is romantically/sexually attracted to those they are less familiar with. Also called reverse demiromantic/reverse demisexual.
Gender Binary - The concept that gender is a binary, comprised of masculine/men and feminine/women.
Genderfluid - A gender that changes, or is 'fluid'.
Genderqueer - Being of neither, both and/or other gender in regards to the masculine/feminine gender binary.
Grace - Short for gray-asexual.
Gray-A - Short for gray-asexual.
Gray-aromantic / Grey-aromantic / Grey-asexual - Describes someone who experiences romantic/sexual attraction only rarely, weakly, unstably/unreliably, and/or gains/loses the attraction under certain (maybe unknown) circumstances. Can be used as an umbrella term for identities like demiromantic and akoiromantic, etc (anyone on the aromantic spectrum that isn’t just aromantic).
Graysexual - Short for gray-asexual.
Gynoromantic - Romantically attracted to femininity.
Heteroromantic / Heterosexual - Romantically/sexually attracted to people of a different gender than one’s own.
Heteronormativity / Heterosexism - The cultural force that expects all people to be cisgender, heteroromantic and heterosexual. Major problem that affects all queer identities, including asexuals. Closely linked to homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and acephobia.
Homoromantic - Romantically attracted to people of the same gender as oneself.
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) - Controversial medical disorder; used as evidence that asexuality is pathologized by the medical community.
Hyposexual - Having a low libido or sex drive.
Identity policing - Telling a person that the way they identify, or the labels they use to describe themselves, are wrong.
Intersex - Being born of ambiguous or indeterminate sex.
Invalidation - In regards to asexuals, telling us that asexuality does not exist, humans can’t be asexual, asexuality isn’t an identity, etc. A form of allosexism.
Kink - A fetish or means of pleasure, often but not necessarily sexual. Some asexual people have kinks.
Libido - Sex drive, which may or may not be targeted at a person. Asexual people may have libidos despite not feeling sexual attraction.
Limerence - Strong feelings of attraction that can be romantic, sexual or platonic. Characterized by a mixture of joy, nervousness, obsessive thoughts and desire for approval from the target of interest. Often occurs in crushes.
Lush - Based on sensual attraction, a strong desire to be sensually close to or engage in sensual activities with a specific person. [
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Mixed Orientation Identity - Any combination of a sexual orientation and romantic orientation that do not “match up,” or share the same gender preference. Any person who is not hetero-romantic heterosexual, homoromantic homosexual, aromantic asexual, biromantic bisexual, or panromantic pansexual, etc., has a mixed orientation identity. Also called cross-orientation sexuality.
Mixed Orientation Relationship - A relationship in which not all partners have the same sexual and romantic orientation. For example, a bisexual man and a heterosexual woman, or a lesbian woman and an aromantic pansexual woman. Mixed orientation relationships can be romantic or platonic. Frequently occurs in polyamory.
Nonamory - A lifestyle choice or relationship style that does not include intimate, long-term partnerships, whether romantic or platonic. [
more info ]
Nonlibidoist - An asexual person who does not feel any desire to masturbate, or who has no sex drive.
Panromantic / Pansexual - The potential to experience romantic/sexual attraction to someone of any/all gender. Opposite of aromantic/asexuality, but some aromantic/asexual people go through a period of wondering if they are panromantic/sexual.
Platonic Attraction - Desire for friendship or another close non-romantic relationship with someone.
Placioromantic / Placiosexual - Means to feel little to no desire to receive romantic/sexual acts performed on them but expresses interest/desire in performing them on someone else. Not necessarily arospec, but a useful term for the community.
Platoniromantic / Quoiromantic / WTFromantic - The romantic orientation for people who find romantic orientations confusing, or who don’t perceive a clear difference between feelings of romance and friendship, or for whom the idea of “romantic orientation” does not apply.
Poly - Short for polyamorous.
Polyamorous - Someone who is attracted to, and is comfortable with being in a relationship with more than one person at a time.
Polyamory - Intimate relationships that are not exclusive. Non-exclusivity may be romantic, sexual, neither, or both. May be a lifestyle choice or an intrinsic part of someone’s sexuality, depending on the person.
Polyromantic / Polysexual - Romantically/sexually attracted to many genders, but not all.
Pomosexual / Pomosexuality - 1) A personal decision not to identify with conventional orientation labels, or the belief that such labels do not apply; and 2) the belief or philosophy that conventional orientation labels are not useful for people in general, and can, or should be, disregarded.
Post rubor - Someone who is a post-rubor aromantic can quickly get crushes on others and have romantic feelings for someone but once the excitement of a new romance/flirtation is gone, the romantic feelings disappear. [
more info ]
Primary Attraction - Attraction that is felt upon first meeting someone.
Queer - An umbrella term for all people who are not heterosexual, heteroromantic and cisgender, and who self-identify as queer. A sensitive issue because of its history as a slur. Some asexual people identify as queer, and others do not.
Queerplatonic / Quasiplatonic - Love, attraction or interest that is stronger and closer than friendship but not easily categorized as romance; or else, an emotional connection that is ambiguous between friendship and romance.
Reciproromantic / Reciprosexual - Experiencing romantic/sexual attraction only after realising someone is romantic/sexually attracted to you.
Requiesromantic / Requiessexual - Limited or no romantic/sexual attraction due to some form of emotional exhaustion. Emotional exhaustion may be the result of previous romantic/sexual endeavors and past experiences dealing with romance/sexuality, or from something else just as emotionally draining.
Sapioromantic / Sapiosexual - Becoming romantically/sexually attracted to people based on their intelligence; sometimes overlaps with the aromantic/asexual spectrum. [
more info ]
Secondary Attraction - Attraction that only develops after personally knowing someone for a period of time.
Sensual Attraction - Attraction that involves a desire to touch or be physically close to someone, but not necessarily in a sexual way.
Sex-averse - Usually a synonym for sex-repulsed; however, some people may be averse to sex without actually feeling repulsion toward it.
Sex-indifferent - Willingness to either participate in or avoid sex; not actively discomforted by engaging in sexual activities. Common among asexual people.
Sex-positive - A movement or ideology that values all forms of sex between enthusiastically consenting adults. Opposed to slut-shaming and homophobia.
Sex-repulsed - Not wanting to engage in sex, often due to disgust, annoyance or discomfort with it. Common among asexual people. Sex-repulsed people may still be sex positive and support sexual freedom for other people. Also called sex-averse.
Sexual Attraction - A feeling of attraction to someone’s physical appearance with a sexual component, or desire to touch someone sexually. Difficult for some asexual people to define and recognize.
Slut-shaming - Attacking a woman’s character or treating her as less worthy of respect because she has had sex, is perceived to have had sex, or dresses in a manner that the slut-shamer does not approve of.
Smush - Based on sexual attraction, a strong desire to be sexually close to or have a sexual relationship with a specific person. [
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Soft romo - An adjective to describe something, like a relationship, as something that is low-level romantic. Soft-romo relationship is like a low-level romantic relationship. [
more info ]
Squish - Based on platonic attraction, a strong desire to be platonically close to or have an intimate friendship with a specific person. [
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Swish - Based on aesthetic attraction, a strong desire to be aesthetically close to or have freedom to continue aesthetic appreciation of a specific person. [
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Touch-averse - Not wanting to touch and/or be touched by other people. Some asexual people are naturally touch-averse.
Trans - Shortened version of and slang term for Transsex/Transsexual, Transgender or Transvestite, a slang term to mean not identifying with the gender assigned at birth.
Transgender - When the sex of the body does not match the gender of the mind, and one identifying with this.
Transition - The entire process of changing sex, including hormones and surgery.
Transsex / Transsexual - Having been born in the wrong sex body, often having treatment to change the sex of the body, and one identifying with this.
Transvestite - Somebody who practices Drag / Cross Dressing.
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x a/n: hope this helped in one way or another!
[ hover over these for more descriptions ]
** - newly added
* - edited
last updated: 09/12/2015
!!! these are not all the terms and concepts !!!