Changes - Part 16
Title: Changes - Part 16
Author: xjekkix
Word Count: 1011 words
Summary: A journey through self-discovery.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is not real.
A/N: Beta’d by csifreak90
Anna and Lindsay took things slow despite a mutual desire for each other. But they were both hesitant and didn’t want to risk their tattered hearts.
Anna also felt strongly about Lindsay coming clean about her sexuality.
“Do you have any idea what that could do to my career?” The girl was a sex symbol. She was too scared to tell her mother she was gay, so how could she possibly tell the entire world?
The woman insisted. She hated sneaking around, pretending they were “just friends”. She gave Lindsay an ultimatum. “Come out, or I’m gone.”
And so Lindsay let her go.
She had hoped losing Anna for a second time would be less of a blow but instead she spiraled further out of control. This was no rut; this was a rollercoaster ride.
Not knowing where else, or who else to turn to, she fell back into Kyle’s arms - and his bed. Her mother couldn’t have been happier.
Her relationships gradually became more high profile. She dated Wilmer, who seemed to understand her and her confusion. It didn’t bother him or make him feel insecure when Lindsay flirted with women in public. In fact, he encouraged it, both for his own enjoyment and for Lindsay’s happiness.
But like most Hollywood showmances, it didn’t last. She landed herself in several other sham relationships, each of them more unfulfilling than the last.
She would begin her nights out with a man-du-jour, meet up with girlfriends and disappear into the nightlife.
She and her friends would drink excessively, despite being too young. Lindsay appreciated that about her fame; she could go anywhere and do just about anything - but it was at a price.
When they were all drunk, Lindsay and her chosen lady would sneak off to a hotel room and fall into bed together. She got a reputation for being a party girl and spending most of her nights in hotel rooms. If only they knew the whole truth, Lindsay thought, they would be even more disappointed in me.
Lindsay grew to learn the real meaning of the word denial, often convincing herself that she slept with these women just because she had nothing better to do. But it made her feel hollow inside each time one of them walked out on her. It was then she knew this had to stop.
Everything changed when she met the first women who posed a real challenge for her. She had seen her in passing; they’d been introduced through mutual friends.
Her name was Samantha. She was older than Lindsay and much more grounded. Much to Lindsay’s dismay, the woman rarely drank and didn’t do so excessively when she did. Lindsay knew most of the women she’d been with so far had been more willing because the alcohol had caused them to throw their inhibitions out the window.
The way Samantha looked at her told her the woman was interested but hesitant. She, too, had been heartbroken in the past and was scared to let anyone in. The impenetrable wall she had put up made it difficult for Lindsay to charm her way into the woman’s heart - but she was determined to try.
But the way she felt about Samantha was different, of course, than the way she felt about her countless one night stands. These feelings were even more intense than what she had felt for Anna.
She was more grown up now. She knew what it meant to lose someone and she knew it wasn’t fair to toy with anyone’s emotions - after all, she had spent months having her own toyed with.
This was serious, and she planned to treat it that way.
So when Samantha was around, Lindsay didn’t drink. She did her best to act sophisticated and charming. She played hard to get while also making sure the woman knew she was accessible.
But the woman’s exterior was hard to crack. Samantha was painfully independent, often soft-spoken and distant when it came to real feelings. Lindsay couldn’t tell what she wanted - or didn’t want. How could she know if she stood a chance?
Still, she persisted. For months, she showed up to all the places she knew Samantha would be, insisting it was purely coincidence. It became an addiction - when she wasn’t smoking or drinking, she was chasing.
And just when she was about to give up, the woman came around.
Lindsay had laid on the charm that night, showering Samantha with compliments and flirtatious touches. She acted helpless through DJing lessons even though she had learned the ins and outs of the turntable from an old friend.
She felt like she was getting nowhere; Samantha wasn’t saying much. But she thought she would give it one more try.
“Think I could get a follow-up lesson?” Lindsay asked, holding Samantha’s pink tie captive in her hands.
The woman looked down and blushed. Lindsay had never seen her this vulnerable. She was practically wearing her heart on her sleeve - or perhaps it was on her tie.
Samantha joked with her. Lindsay found her irresistibly witty when she let her guard down. Her smile made Lindsay’s stomach churn - in a good way - and when she giggled, Lindsay had to giggle too.
Of course, Lindsay didn’t want lessons at all; just another excuse to see Samantha; maybe this time, just one-on-one.
“I could probably do that. But after the first one, I gotta start charging.”
Lindsay’s head was spinning. This exchange of witty banter wasn’t exactly what she wanted, but she was happy with any emotional response.
Samantha nodded when Lindsay told her she’d see her around; that was a start. But Lindsay decided to keep trying while she was ahead.
She tugged gently on Samantha’s tie, gradually bringing her closer throughout their conversation. She kissed her quickly before gallivanting off into the night with her friends.
Before she left the club, she turned to take one last look at Samantha. The woman stood there stunned and wanting more. Mission accomplished.
Author: xjekkix
Word Count: 1011 words
Summary: A journey through self-discovery.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is not real.
A/N: Beta’d by csifreak90
Anna and Lindsay took things slow despite a mutual desire for each other. But they were both hesitant and didn’t want to risk their tattered hearts.
Anna also felt strongly about Lindsay coming clean about her sexuality.
“Do you have any idea what that could do to my career?” The girl was a sex symbol. She was too scared to tell her mother she was gay, so how could she possibly tell the entire world?
The woman insisted. She hated sneaking around, pretending they were “just friends”. She gave Lindsay an ultimatum. “Come out, or I’m gone.”
And so Lindsay let her go.
She had hoped losing Anna for a second time would be less of a blow but instead she spiraled further out of control. This was no rut; this was a rollercoaster ride.
Not knowing where else, or who else to turn to, she fell back into Kyle’s arms - and his bed. Her mother couldn’t have been happier.
Her relationships gradually became more high profile. She dated Wilmer, who seemed to understand her and her confusion. It didn’t bother him or make him feel insecure when Lindsay flirted with women in public. In fact, he encouraged it, both for his own enjoyment and for Lindsay’s happiness.
But like most Hollywood showmances, it didn’t last. She landed herself in several other sham relationships, each of them more unfulfilling than the last.
She would begin her nights out with a man-du-jour, meet up with girlfriends and disappear into the nightlife.
She and her friends would drink excessively, despite being too young. Lindsay appreciated that about her fame; she could go anywhere and do just about anything - but it was at a price.
When they were all drunk, Lindsay and her chosen lady would sneak off to a hotel room and fall into bed together. She got a reputation for being a party girl and spending most of her nights in hotel rooms. If only they knew the whole truth, Lindsay thought, they would be even more disappointed in me.
Lindsay grew to learn the real meaning of the word denial, often convincing herself that she slept with these women just because she had nothing better to do. But it made her feel hollow inside each time one of them walked out on her. It was then she knew this had to stop.
Everything changed when she met the first women who posed a real challenge for her. She had seen her in passing; they’d been introduced through mutual friends.
Her name was Samantha. She was older than Lindsay and much more grounded. Much to Lindsay’s dismay, the woman rarely drank and didn’t do so excessively when she did. Lindsay knew most of the women she’d been with so far had been more willing because the alcohol had caused them to throw their inhibitions out the window.
The way Samantha looked at her told her the woman was interested but hesitant. She, too, had been heartbroken in the past and was scared to let anyone in. The impenetrable wall she had put up made it difficult for Lindsay to charm her way into the woman’s heart - but she was determined to try.
But the way she felt about Samantha was different, of course, than the way she felt about her countless one night stands. These feelings were even more intense than what she had felt for Anna.
She was more grown up now. She knew what it meant to lose someone and she knew it wasn’t fair to toy with anyone’s emotions - after all, she had spent months having her own toyed with.
This was serious, and she planned to treat it that way.
So when Samantha was around, Lindsay didn’t drink. She did her best to act sophisticated and charming. She played hard to get while also making sure the woman knew she was accessible.
But the woman’s exterior was hard to crack. Samantha was painfully independent, often soft-spoken and distant when it came to real feelings. Lindsay couldn’t tell what she wanted - or didn’t want. How could she know if she stood a chance?
Still, she persisted. For months, she showed up to all the places she knew Samantha would be, insisting it was purely coincidence. It became an addiction - when she wasn’t smoking or drinking, she was chasing.
And just when she was about to give up, the woman came around.
Lindsay had laid on the charm that night, showering Samantha with compliments and flirtatious touches. She acted helpless through DJing lessons even though she had learned the ins and outs of the turntable from an old friend.
She felt like she was getting nowhere; Samantha wasn’t saying much. But she thought she would give it one more try.
“Think I could get a follow-up lesson?” Lindsay asked, holding Samantha’s pink tie captive in her hands.
The woman looked down and blushed. Lindsay had never seen her this vulnerable. She was practically wearing her heart on her sleeve - or perhaps it was on her tie.
Samantha joked with her. Lindsay found her irresistibly witty when she let her guard down. Her smile made Lindsay’s stomach churn - in a good way - and when she giggled, Lindsay had to giggle too.
Of course, Lindsay didn’t want lessons at all; just another excuse to see Samantha; maybe this time, just one-on-one.
“I could probably do that. But after the first one, I gotta start charging.”
Lindsay’s head was spinning. This exchange of witty banter wasn’t exactly what she wanted, but she was happy with any emotional response.
Samantha nodded when Lindsay told her she’d see her around; that was a start. But Lindsay decided to keep trying while she was ahead.
She tugged gently on Samantha’s tie, gradually bringing her closer throughout their conversation. She kissed her quickly before gallivanting off into the night with her friends.
Before she left the club, she turned to take one last look at Samantha. The woman stood there stunned and wanting more. Mission accomplished.