valley of blood

[xjollyrogerx]

here's the thing I wrote

Comments

[punkrockvirgin]

The burning flesh line, drop the "smelled".

[xjollyrogerx]

... ok

and replace it wiiith?

i know that that is the weakest line in the whole thing but until i can think of a stronger couple of lines, i don't know how to fix what's already there.

[punkrockvirgin]

no need for another word. Read it.

[xjollyrogerx]

i just don't think i understand what you're getting at.. could you write out the line how you see it working for me?

[ethnic_m]

"As my small mind steals Your endless might"

This is the line that made me think the most. Probably because I tend to overthink way, waay too much and my thoughts kind of drown out God's voice. I make things a lot more complicated when all God wants from me is...

trust. again. haha, do you see a pattern?

anyway, the song is good. I like it. It makes you think which is important. The lyrics grab your attention and make you want to have a second look.

Now I want to hear it in a song... :]

[xjollyrogerx]

yep. in our over thinking, we have a tendency to limit God's power because our minds are so small that we can't even begin to fathom all that He is.

haha, yeah pattern. I gotcha.

maybe you will hear it in a song some day.
...
maybe.

[masticatus]

I like it.

[xjollyrogerx]

yeah?

[masticatus]

Yeah. It reminds me of an old fashioned hymn, but with a different cadence.

[weed]

"Vally" is spelled Valley.

I dig it though.

[xjollyrogerx]

wait.. so i spelled it wrong by spelling it valley? or is it supposed to be spelled valley? oh wait.. the title. haha

[weed]

the word "Valley" is spelled Valley and you spelled it incorrect, "Vally".

[xjollyrogerx]

yeah.. I figured that out after the fact.
boy, is my face red.

haha