Bible

[xjuggernaughtx]

Since I work with all these religious types, I get into biblical discussions a lot. Christianity makes no real sense to me, at least how it is historically presented. Don't kill people and don't steal stuff makes perfect sense. However, the way that the bible presents it's own history makes none

Comments

[evil_erin]

Reading your version of the Bible is so much more entertaining than reading the Bible itself. This is like Cliff Notes, only better: Shawn notes.

[xjuggernaughtx]

I've come to conclude from my brief reassociation with the Bible that Christians are even more stupid than I remember. Seriously, you have to be a complete idiot to come to the conclusion that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving from the text you are given. All signs point to an entity that is learning the job as he goes and is in way over his head.

[co_cutthroat]

I tried that whole 'reading the bible' thing once. It didn't really work out. But your summary is kinda making me want to give a go again, just for the giggles.

[xjuggernaughtx]

I think the bible would make a good bathroom book. It's best to take it in small chunks. Reading it for hours would be a chore, but just a page or two a time is entertaining.

[madeofmeat]

I've gotta get me a copy of the King James without the annoying italics. Years ago, I was getting all into this Gideon bible I yoinked from a motel room[1], but the italics were like brain speed bumps and I had to stop.

_____________________
[1] Me, on the way out to Portland from Cleveland with Jewish friend Matt: "Ohay, there's a Gideon bible in this motel room drawer! I've kind of wanted a bible..."
Matt: "Well, take it."
Me: "I can't do that! That would be wrong!"
Matt: "Why do you think they put them there?!"
Me: "Oh yeah." ::yoink::

[xjuggernaughtx]

My bible has these italic portions as well. There is no apparent explanation for them. I've found no rhyme or reason to why they are there.

I expressly told my friend that I wouldn't accept a King James bible from him. I'm not wading through all that Elizabethian style language. I want something that is easy to understand if I'm going to do critical analysis of it.

[madeofmeat]

I vaguely recall reading somewhere that they indicate some translational issue. That could be bullshit.

And regarding version, good point. Maybe I'll hit one of those Christian supply stores and ask them about what version I should go for.

[justinbastard]

Wait... why would the Pharaoh be less inclined to take the wife if he thought she was Abram's sister? Instead of her being a married lady, she would be this dude's unmarried sister... right?

I'm confused.

[xjuggernaughtx]

It wasn't a matter of the Pharaoh taking his wife. They knew that was going to happen. It was that if they were married, the Pharaoh would kill Abram to make his wife available. If she was Abram's unmarried sister, then he would let Abram live because Abram would be no obstacle to the marriage.

[justinbastard]

Oh, okay. I thought he was all "Yeah! We'll pretend she's my sister instead of my wife! That's sure to make him uninterested!"

[xjuggernaughtx]

Besides the nightmare of ethical questions that is raised in this little charmer, my question is: Why go to the Pharaoh at all? You're carrying every friggin' thing you own. Egypt is a big country. Go camp out somewhere. Go to a little town and buy some new supplies. Why do to the one play you know is guaranteed to jack you?

[far_niente]

Haha. You remind me of River in Firefly fixing the Bible. I'm assuming you know what I'm talking about, and if you don't you need to watch Firefly. now. right now.

[xjuggernaughtx]

Don't you worry your pretty little head. We've got the Firefly Boxset. It's a staple in this house!

Does that seem fair to you?