...the scars remind us that the past is real...
So I just happened to be looking at the burn marks on my arm and as sick as it is I was thinking gosh I love that boy! I mean wtf? Who thinks that? Then I was thinking well at least Ill have something to look back on and remind me of yet another hard time in my life that I know Im gunna get through. Then my eyes wander to the recent cuts on my legs and a sense of relief comes over me. Am I fucked up? I mean they arent that bad kinda looks like I just scratched my leg a lil bit. They stung enough for me not to think about things for a minute. Oh and I dyed my hair last night/this morning too. First some orange color then I realized it looked like ass so I dyed it black. Black looks good. Kinda calming in a sense. Didnt go for the gusto and do the whole head though cause black is forever and plus i didnt have enough for all my hair. I kinda want to dye it all black though. Maybe people wont talk to me then. Yeah riiiight. I wish I could get my neck peirced again because that was the MOST orgasmic piercing I ever got. It felt sooooo good! I dont know what it was but I tingled all over and felt flush with fever I might have even creamed my jeans I dont remember. Blood is so beautiful to me. How can people puke at just the thought of the sight of it? Its such a lovely color. The way it trickles down my skin and glistens on the razor blades.... I love it. I dont think its a bad thing. At least I dont get my rocks of by dressing up like a stuffed animal and doing people in the butt with a vibrator.