it seems ive barely escaped pneumonia...and have just a horrible chest cold/sinus infection.
and of course with a dip in my immune system the shingles have returned.
and the doctor i saw seemed genuinely concerned with my blood pressure.

by the way no health insurance sucks.

it seems i dont have friends.

and i guess im ok with that.

dont call me out of the blue and try and be one.

it just wont work.

you missed your chance.

i fucking hate you.

ive done some pre-mature spring cleaning.
ive deleted myself from myspace/friendser.
im taking people of my friends list, who i know dont want to be there.
if i've missed you just let me know.

after this entry,
this journal will be friends only.
for the time being.

i didn't lie.

fuck love.
i just want to makeout with boys.

you cant runaway from problems.
they have to be confronted.
moving to somewhere new isnt going to solve anything.

I remind myself how holding hands is so powerless,
tonight I dont even have the stars to hold on to..

someone please stop me from jumping to conclusions.

it's a 'Jump to Conclusions mat!
You see, you have this mat,
with different CONCLUSIONS written on it..
that you can JUMP TO!

I'm imagining the way you say my name
I don't know when
I'm going to hear it again
my friends can't tell
my laughter from my cries
someone tell this photograph of you
to let go of my eyes