HanHae: All The People
Title: All the People
Starring: Hangeng, Donghae (HanHae)
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Romance, Historical/War Fiction, Angst
Warnings: Hint of yaoi (boyxboy romance), death
Words: 1,759
A/N: Part of 100 Super Junior Fics Challenge - 039. All the People, Hankyung/Donghae
Sometimes I dream of him. I remember his smile, the way he blushed and how he blinked his big confused eyes whenever I was too excited and my rambling didn't make any sense to him. Sometimes it feels as if I simply came back without him while he is still in China, but I know waiting for his return is futile. I shouldn't allow myself to think like that, because I know the truth and I know he is no longer with us, with me.
We all have days where it feels like it's us against the world. It's easy to complain and accept the role of the victim. He never did that though, he was one of the few people who would never let himself drown in other people's sympathy. He was a brave man, a true hero. A hero till the end.
Out of all the people, it had to be him and it had to be this God damn country. Had I ever asked him to be this brave? Did I even want him to save me? No, it was quite the opposite as I clutched his coat and screamed his name. Don't leave me, don't do this, stay with me, hold me. It didn't matter what I said when sobbing, he was determined and had everything planned out already. When he pushed me toward the bunker and bid me farewell the only thing I wanted was to clutch him tightly and never let go.
But I had to let go at one point, when an explosion startled us both and the large gusts of wind made us tumble to the ground. I fell down the stairs of the bunker, reaching the end and though he asked me if I was okay, I couldn't even answer before he closed the door and barricaded it from the outside. He had probably seen how I easily scrambled to my feet, obviously not hurt enough to be seriously injured. I felt a lot of pain though. Your worried and pained expression lingered in front of my eyes as I as waited.
I didn't know what was going on at that moment or what had happened when the door was opened after I had been locked inside for three days. The people who had found me were utterly surprised by my survival, but he had taken precaution, providing the bunker with enough food and water that could have kept me alive for months if necessary.
The men quickly found out I was a foreigner in the big country that was China. They probably saw me as dangerous, because I have had kinder and less hurtful ways to be escorted to a pick-up truck. Though I knew a fair amount of Mandarin, their quick words and sentences that sounded like questions made no sense to me. It made me think of him, he must have felt like this millions of times. Sorry, I was never able to control my rambling when I was emotional.
They kept me in a cell without questioning me further. They fed me, gave me water and when I thought they had forgotten me after almost a week of no interrogation at all, a high commander wished to see me. I was hardly in any state to meet someone of that status, not mentally or physically. I smelled awful, looked like a homeless person and could only think about one thing, him. Where was he? Was he still alive? Was he injured? Also a captive perhaps? And most importantly, why did he leave me back there?
My face soon met the ground, they enjoyed making me as uncomfortable as possible, spewing words that could not have a kind meaning as I listened to the intonation. I didn't understand them, they didn't understand me as I tried to make this clear. It seemed I wasn't completely useless or they were all just sadists, because they didn't kill me, they simply threw me back in that dirty cell where I spent the next weeks sitting upright or sleeping on a communal board, wearing an orange uniform they forced me to wear to signalize I was indeed their prisoner.
I had no one. I knew there were many others like me, probably all foreigners, but there was no communication allowed between prisoners. The walls of the cells were thick, whispering and knocking could not be heard on the other side. It was the isolation that broke me apart. I didn't care who it was, I just had to talk to someone and not be ignored like the guards would do when bringing me my food and water. The ruckus I made as I swore in Korean and took my anger and frustration out on the door was enough to get their attention. They hit me, but I was smiling nevertheless.
They broke my arm, had quite the fun to see me limp as they inflicted deep cuts in my legs. That didn't withhold me from making my presence known. If they thought pain would shut me up, they were sadly mistaken. I was still alive and I would let them know I was no matter how much they hurt me.
"Lee Donghae"
I licked the blood from my lips, feeling proud they finally knew my name. Yes, I was Lee Donghae and you better never forget that name.
"Nationality: Korean?"
Was that English? I nodded. That's right, mother fuckers, I'm a proud citizen of Daehanminguk, my homeland, the place I was born and raised and the place I would die, not here in this pathetic excuse of a country. The snarl on my face didn't intimidate them, but I kept expression my disgust and anger nevertheless though it was a bit difficult when tied to a chair.
The high commander who I had met before kept glancing back and forth between the letter in his hand and the death glare I was sending him. More rapid Mandarin words were spoken and I tensed when one of the soldiers neared me, a knife in his hand. I screamed at him in Korean and used the few Mandarin curse words I knew, though when he cut my rope I didn't quite know what to say.
My first instinct had been to stand and the soldier looked alarmed but did nothing to hurt me or make me sit back down. Strange, what was going on?
"It has been proven you are not our enemy", the accented English pierced my ears but made my heart accelerate. Of course I'm not your enemy, wait, you thought I was Japanese? Do you imbeciles not even hear the difference between Korean and Japanese?!
But how? How did they find out who I was? The commander beckoned me to step forward and I did though carefully and slowly. Once I reached the desk I saw my passport, dirtied and bloody. Whose blood was that? I scared me and instantly I knew what was going on. It all made sense now.
I had been aware of the Imperial Japanese Navy that was lurking at the other side of the Yellow Sea. I had been aware this large country was battling Japan to see who had enough manpower to take over Korea. I was neither a conservative wanting to retain the traditional relationship with China, nor was I a reformist wanting to establish closer ties with Japan and western nations. I just wanted to live my life. China was suspicious of us all though, we did sign the Treaty of Ganghwa after all. Japan had already stationed troops near Asan and soon Japan would annex Korea.
Even so I accepted his invitation when he wanted to introduce me to his parents, as a friend of course. Getting into the country had been a hassle, going through lots of check-ups and having him by my side constantly saying I was Korean, not Japanese and I was still loyal to China - had I ever been? My passport was my proof, but I had not been carrying it with me on that dreadful day when the Imperial Japanese Navy crossed the Yellow Sea and attacked.
During times of caution and fear the Chinese soldiers had mistaken me for a Japanese and it had taken them almost a month to figure out I was thrown in jail as an innocent Korean man. Who had proven my innocence though?
It was him. Of course it was.
I didn't really know what the commander was telling me. His lips moved and he threw in some English words, but it didn't register until I heard his name. Han Geng, his Chinese name though I always called him Hankyung. With the words I could understand the man opposite of me spoke, I tried to figure out what had happened.
Yes, I knew Han Geng. Passport, yes that one was mine. He had it? When? How? The next few words threw me off completely and I leaned against the desk with a shocked expression. Han Geng knew of the possible attack? Of course, that's why he had that bunker prepared for me. Military service? He never told me he would have to join the army. Don't tell me this. I don't want to hear it anymore. He wouldn't, not without telling me. He never told me.
"When we carried him away, we found two passports", the commander said. I understood very well what had happened. He didn't need to tell me, there was no reason to carry a soldier unless he was injured or worse. By the amount of blood that stained my passport I knew it was the latter.
Just as fast as they had thrown me in that cell, they threw me out of the entire country. They gave me money, to keep my silent I suppose. I accepted it and spend it all at once, not that it was a lot, cheap bastards. I ate as much fried rice as I could, my stomach aching enormously and I was glad it drowned out the pain in my chest. I clutched the silver frame that held his eternal smile. It helped me to forget about that worried and sad look he had given me at that moment I didn't even know I would never see him again. I traced his engraved name with my finger tips and the Mandarin words he had made me remember by heart.
"我永远不会忘记你 - Wŏ yŏngyuăn bù huì wàngjì nĭ"
How could I ever?
Starring: Hangeng, Donghae (HanHae)
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Romance, Historical/War Fiction, Angst
Warnings: Hint of yaoi (boyxboy romance), death
Words: 1,759
A/N: Part of 100 Super Junior Fics Challenge - 039. All the People, Hankyung/Donghae
Sometimes I dream of him. I remember his smile, the way he blushed and how he blinked his big confused eyes whenever I was too excited and my rambling didn't make any sense to him. Sometimes it feels as if I simply came back without him while he is still in China, but I know waiting for his return is futile. I shouldn't allow myself to think like that, because I know the truth and I know he is no longer with us, with me.
We all have days where it feels like it's us against the world. It's easy to complain and accept the role of the victim. He never did that though, he was one of the few people who would never let himself drown in other people's sympathy. He was a brave man, a true hero. A hero till the end.
Out of all the people, it had to be him and it had to be this God damn country. Had I ever asked him to be this brave? Did I even want him to save me? No, it was quite the opposite as I clutched his coat and screamed his name. Don't leave me, don't do this, stay with me, hold me. It didn't matter what I said when sobbing, he was determined and had everything planned out already. When he pushed me toward the bunker and bid me farewell the only thing I wanted was to clutch him tightly and never let go.
But I had to let go at one point, when an explosion startled us both and the large gusts of wind made us tumble to the ground. I fell down the stairs of the bunker, reaching the end and though he asked me if I was okay, I couldn't even answer before he closed the door and barricaded it from the outside. He had probably seen how I easily scrambled to my feet, obviously not hurt enough to be seriously injured. I felt a lot of pain though. Your worried and pained expression lingered in front of my eyes as I as waited.
I didn't know what was going on at that moment or what had happened when the door was opened after I had been locked inside for three days. The people who had found me were utterly surprised by my survival, but he had taken precaution, providing the bunker with enough food and water that could have kept me alive for months if necessary.
The men quickly found out I was a foreigner in the big country that was China. They probably saw me as dangerous, because I have had kinder and less hurtful ways to be escorted to a pick-up truck. Though I knew a fair amount of Mandarin, their quick words and sentences that sounded like questions made no sense to me. It made me think of him, he must have felt like this millions of times. Sorry, I was never able to control my rambling when I was emotional.
They kept me in a cell without questioning me further. They fed me, gave me water and when I thought they had forgotten me after almost a week of no interrogation at all, a high commander wished to see me. I was hardly in any state to meet someone of that status, not mentally or physically. I smelled awful, looked like a homeless person and could only think about one thing, him. Where was he? Was he still alive? Was he injured? Also a captive perhaps? And most importantly, why did he leave me back there?
My face soon met the ground, they enjoyed making me as uncomfortable as possible, spewing words that could not have a kind meaning as I listened to the intonation. I didn't understand them, they didn't understand me as I tried to make this clear. It seemed I wasn't completely useless or they were all just sadists, because they didn't kill me, they simply threw me back in that dirty cell where I spent the next weeks sitting upright or sleeping on a communal board, wearing an orange uniform they forced me to wear to signalize I was indeed their prisoner.
I had no one. I knew there were many others like me, probably all foreigners, but there was no communication allowed between prisoners. The walls of the cells were thick, whispering and knocking could not be heard on the other side. It was the isolation that broke me apart. I didn't care who it was, I just had to talk to someone and not be ignored like the guards would do when bringing me my food and water. The ruckus I made as I swore in Korean and took my anger and frustration out on the door was enough to get their attention. They hit me, but I was smiling nevertheless.
They broke my arm, had quite the fun to see me limp as they inflicted deep cuts in my legs. That didn't withhold me from making my presence known. If they thought pain would shut me up, they were sadly mistaken. I was still alive and I would let them know I was no matter how much they hurt me.
"Lee Donghae"
I licked the blood from my lips, feeling proud they finally knew my name. Yes, I was Lee Donghae and you better never forget that name.
"Nationality: Korean?"
Was that English? I nodded. That's right, mother fuckers, I'm a proud citizen of Daehanminguk, my homeland, the place I was born and raised and the place I would die, not here in this pathetic excuse of a country. The snarl on my face didn't intimidate them, but I kept expression my disgust and anger nevertheless though it was a bit difficult when tied to a chair.
The high commander who I had met before kept glancing back and forth between the letter in his hand and the death glare I was sending him. More rapid Mandarin words were spoken and I tensed when one of the soldiers neared me, a knife in his hand. I screamed at him in Korean and used the few Mandarin curse words I knew, though when he cut my rope I didn't quite know what to say.
My first instinct had been to stand and the soldier looked alarmed but did nothing to hurt me or make me sit back down. Strange, what was going on?
"It has been proven you are not our enemy", the accented English pierced my ears but made my heart accelerate. Of course I'm not your enemy, wait, you thought I was Japanese? Do you imbeciles not even hear the difference between Korean and Japanese?!
But how? How did they find out who I was? The commander beckoned me to step forward and I did though carefully and slowly. Once I reached the desk I saw my passport, dirtied and bloody. Whose blood was that? I scared me and instantly I knew what was going on. It all made sense now.
I had been aware of the Imperial Japanese Navy that was lurking at the other side of the Yellow Sea. I had been aware this large country was battling Japan to see who had enough manpower to take over Korea. I was neither a conservative wanting to retain the traditional relationship with China, nor was I a reformist wanting to establish closer ties with Japan and western nations. I just wanted to live my life. China was suspicious of us all though, we did sign the Treaty of Ganghwa after all. Japan had already stationed troops near Asan and soon Japan would annex Korea.
Even so I accepted his invitation when he wanted to introduce me to his parents, as a friend of course. Getting into the country had been a hassle, going through lots of check-ups and having him by my side constantly saying I was Korean, not Japanese and I was still loyal to China - had I ever been? My passport was my proof, but I had not been carrying it with me on that dreadful day when the Imperial Japanese Navy crossed the Yellow Sea and attacked.
During times of caution and fear the Chinese soldiers had mistaken me for a Japanese and it had taken them almost a month to figure out I was thrown in jail as an innocent Korean man. Who had proven my innocence though?
It was him. Of course it was.
I didn't really know what the commander was telling me. His lips moved and he threw in some English words, but it didn't register until I heard his name. Han Geng, his Chinese name though I always called him Hankyung. With the words I could understand the man opposite of me spoke, I tried to figure out what had happened.
Yes, I knew Han Geng. Passport, yes that one was mine. He had it? When? How? The next few words threw me off completely and I leaned against the desk with a shocked expression. Han Geng knew of the possible attack? Of course, that's why he had that bunker prepared for me. Military service? He never told me he would have to join the army. Don't tell me this. I don't want to hear it anymore. He wouldn't, not without telling me. He never told me.
"When we carried him away, we found two passports", the commander said. I understood very well what had happened. He didn't need to tell me, there was no reason to carry a soldier unless he was injured or worse. By the amount of blood that stained my passport I knew it was the latter.
Just as fast as they had thrown me in that cell, they threw me out of the entire country. They gave me money, to keep my silent I suppose. I accepted it and spend it all at once, not that it was a lot, cheap bastards. I ate as much fried rice as I could, my stomach aching enormously and I was glad it drowned out the pain in my chest. I clutched the silver frame that held his eternal smile. It helped me to forget about that worried and sad look he had given me at that moment I didn't even know I would never see him again. I traced his engraved name with my finger tips and the Mandarin words he had made me remember by heart.
"我永远不会忘记你 - Wŏ yŏngyuăn bù huì wàngjì nĭ"
How could I ever?