Ryan Christopher Fowler
Ryan asked me to write all about him and how I feel about him. There is literally not enough words in the universe to describe what I have been through because of him within the past year and nine months. I have gone from being completely happier than any person should ever be down to being completely depressed to the point where it was unbearable. He has had by far the biggest impact on my life that anyone ever has or ever will. I am the way I am because of him. I am about to rehash every memory and open every wound that I have had from him.
After I met him in July of 2004, I have become a different person. I have grown up and matured faster than anyone I know. All my growing up occurred over one miserable winter. He was the greatest person to be with when we met. The first thing he said to me was that he was a member of Hanson. He had chased my friends and I down into the ocean at Hampton Beach with two of his friends. We thought they were goofballs right away because they came in with their clothes on rather than bathing suits. We got out of the water and decided to meet up after we had showered and put dry clothes on. I remember he was rubbing my back with one hand saying he had already found his lover and I was absolutely repulsed.
My friends, Kelsey and Lea, and I were so excited to have finally met boys on the beach. That was always my cute, little dream about meeting the guy I would spend the rest of my life with. We argued for a bit about who was going to be with who, but when we finally went out to meet them, I knew I wanted to be with Ryan. We walked in pairs down by the water and we held hands, swinging them and skipping while rhyming. Of course it sounds lame, but if you only knew how happy it made me. We went up on the dry sand and sat in our own areas, still in pairs. Ryan took me to a spot in the sand where there was a little ditch for us to sit in. He kept asking me, "Do you wanna do what I wanna do?" He wanted to make-out and I absolutely did not so I just kept telling him maybe because I didn't want to be rude. Finally, Kelsey and her guy Brandyn came over and rescued me.
We met up with Lea and her guy Doc (His real names is Walter.) and all six of us walked over to the benches infront of the stage. Lea and Doc had already kissed on the lips, but the rest of us hadn't. Doc said he was winning the game so I grabbed Ryan's face and kissed him then Kelsey followed my lead with Brandyn. From that moment on, we never stopped kissing or saying I love you.
On our way back to our hotel, we were walking by an ederly couple and Ryan asked me if I would be offended if his pants fell down. I said no then asked why. I looked over, his shorts were at his ankles right infront of them. They had fallen down because he had no change of clothes with him when he came into the ocean to meet us so he had to put on a pair of Brandyn's shorts and Brandyn is much taller than Ryan. I told him to pull them up in a panicked tone then laughed.
Ryan is the first guy that let me hug him with my arms under his. We stood next to the playground holding each other for what seemed like forever. He kept telling me he loved me and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. I knew from then on that my life would never be the same. I said we would have to go back to our inn before Kelsey's mom had a "baybeh." It was meant to be said as "baby," but with an accent. Since then I have been his baybeh. There were many more details to that night, but it's been so long and I'm writing this only from memory.
The next day we all met up again and I was closer to Ryan than I was the day before. It was like we had known each other for years rather than just a day. He had a red bandana in his pocket that he called his hanky. When he pulled it out of his pocket, my exclamation was, "Oo la la!" Since then he has been my oo la la. We spent the entire day together and we all met up at night again. There were fireworks that night and we watched them together. Ryan held my hand and whispered that he loved me. I thought that I missed my ex-boyfriend Nick and I felt guilty for being with Ryan. I was treating him like he was the biggest jerk when he was being the sweetest person. I regret treating him that way.
That night seemed like the shortest ever known. It went by too fast and we had the weakest goodbye. We all thought that we would see each other the next day so we didn't make our goodbyes a big deal. We left that Thursday morning without saying goodbye. Turns out that Ryan and Brandyn had walked past our inn all morning in hopes for us to come out. Kelsey's mom, her, Lea, and I went to eat breakfast at a diner called Chubby's. None of us could eat. We were all so heart broken that we didn't get to say goodbye to them. I felt sick to my stomach. I had given Ryan my AIM screen name the night before in hopes that he would remember me. Everyone thought we would never see them again, but I had a feeling in my gut that Ryan would change me forever and he did.