Finding You Chapter 10
Title: Finding You
Chapters: 10/?
Pairing: EunHae
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, only the weird plot. Written in Donghae’s p.o.v.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Donghae’s choice.
Note: This is written from Donghae’s point of view.
After I asked Yesung to take me home I had to sit next to HIM; I couldn’t blame Ryeowook or Yesung for wanting to be close together, they had just become a couple, and I was happy for them, I just wish I wasn’t in my current situation. Which is when said “situation” decided to talk “Listen Donghae, I’m really, really sorry about ruining your pants, and your nose” I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him, if felt like if I did I would cry, so I stared out the window thinking about how today didn’t turn out the way I had expected.
I would be lying if I said the first time we met I didn’t feel something, because I had, it was weird, like my skin was on fire, but in a good way, like I wanted to be consumed by the heat, and when he ran away so suddenly, claiming he was going to be killed, I felt cold, like he took half my heart with him.
I found myself thinking about him, about the way he was staring at me, the way he smiled, the way he talked, the way he ran; okay I was obsessing, I admit it, but there was just something about him. So when Ryeowook asked me if I wanted to go on a date with you, needless to say I readily agreed. I spent the rest of the week fantasizing about the perfect date we were going to have, like some crazy obsessed school girl with crush. I was so deep in thought I hadn’t realized we were in front of my house till I felt the car stop, I had to say something to Hyukjae, but what could I say? I had such high hopes for this date. So I said “Look Hyukjae let’s…let’s not meet again” but as I said it my heart felt like I had ripped it out of my chest and stomped on it, leaving it in a bloody pool of despair. But I had been hurt before, and my mind was screaming at me that if I let Hyukjae in and he hurt me, I wouldn’t survive it.
I don’t know how I did it, but somehow I walked up to my door, even though I could feel Hyukjae’s gaze on me, it felt like fire, and not the good kind from before, was burning my soul, killing me. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until I reached my room, and saw my reflection in the mirror. It didn’t look like me, it wasn’t me, I couldn’t look this person in the face anymore, so I looked down at my once white jeans, the pink and red stains a reminder of you. I had to get them off, they were burning me, everything hurt, from my soul to my skin, all I felt was fire.
I lay in bed, crying, I don’t even know why; I was the one who told Hyukjae I didn’t want to see him. It was my fault. But I was scared, the date started out so well, perfect even, in my 17 years of life I’ve never been able to feel comfortable with someone I just met, but with him it was different, I instantly felt attached, and that scared me. One minute we were doing so well, then the next it had changed drastically; that’s when I felt it, this man, this Hyukjae, no my Hyukjae (it just sounds so right), he held my life in his hands. I’m too young, too childish to feel such an emotion; it was too big, so I did the first thing that came to mind, the thing I was best at, I ran.
I don’t know how long I was awake; I didn’t know it was possible for one human being to cry so much, I was exhausted, crying took all my energy, I couldn’t feel anything, and that was the only comfort I had.
That night I fell asleep and dreamt my world was burning, I was surrounded by nothing but fire and it burned through my life, leaving me with nothing.
♥♥♥
I woke up the next morning, nauseated and my head was pounding. It felt like someone had drilled a hole in my head, and tried to suck my brains out with a straw, and to top it all off my heart…my heart felt…it felt…broken, there was no other way to explain it. The only upside was I no longer felt like I was on fire, the burning was gone, but in a sick way I kind of missed it. I tried to get out of bed, but I just couldn’t, it was like a weight was on top of me, holding me down; one thing was for sure, I was not going to school today.
I spent the whole day in bed; I didn’t get up for anything, not even to eat, my stomach was already full of regret. Nothing could get me out of bed, the weight was relentless, making me feel its full force, even if I wanted to there was no way I was getting out of bed. All I could do was think of you, and whenever I thought of you I cried, needless to say I spent 95% of my day crying.
At 5:00 p.m. my body was worn out from crying, and with heavy lids I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.
In my dream I was on a marry-go-round, and sitting a few seats in front of me was Hyukjae, he was looking at something in front of him, or should I say someone. We spun round and round, not once did I call your name, not once did I go up to you, not that I didn’t want to but because the weight was holding me in place, making me a silent observer. So I sat and watched you, watching him, until it looked like you gave up and turned your head to look at the sky. I was happy that you weren’t looking at him anymore, but that didn’t last long, because he got off his horse and walked towards you, then he looked right at me and smirked. He looked like me, but not really, he was older but the smile and the eyes were exactly the same, he looked like the me I saw in the mirror yesterday; he nodded his head at me, and that’s when he put his hand on your arm, and the burning started. But it was the burn I liked, the burn I wanted to always keep.
As they talked an anger grew inside of me, who the hell did this imposter think he was? That was my Hyukjae, mine. But I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream at that ass hole to get away from what was mine. I was so angry I was actually crying, and when I tried to blink the tears away, Hyukjae was gone. In the blink of an eye Hyukjae disappeared.
I was frantic, what did that alien do with Hyukjae? Did he abduct him? Take him to his ship to experiment on his brain? I was in such a state of panic I didn’t see the alien standing next to me with that smirk on his face, until he touched my arm.
“AHHHH” I yelled.
“What’s the matter?” alien Hae asked.
“What’s the matter? What’s the matter? You abduct my Hyukjae and you’re asking what’s the matter?” I yell getting madder with each word.
“I didn’t abduct him. He woke up” the alien said.
“You promise” I ask.
“You really are childish aren’t you? But yes, I promise” the alien laughs. I wanted to yell at him for laughing at me but decide against it when another question pops into my head.
“Why do you look like me? Who are you?” I ask.
“Call me Cupid, call me Fait, call me whatever you want, I have many names; and I look like you because it’s my job to bring soul mates together who would not have met in reality, and Hyukjae needed to know what you looked like.” The alien named Cupid said.
“But you don’t really look like me” I pout “you’re too old”
“Hey, it’s not a precise science, okay. Besides I got the eyes and the smile just right, plus he found you so what are you complaining about?” alien Cupid said.
“I…”
“Yeah I thought so. Now let’s get down to business” and that evil grin is giving me the creeps.
“W…What do you mean?” I ask with at stutter.
“You told your soul mate you didn’t want to meet again, and even after the pain you never once thought of calling him, you were going to accept the pain forever, why?” he asks.
“I…I’ve been hurt before, more than once…it always starts out good…then it ends…badly” I say and tears are forming in my eyes. I have lost my dad, and my first love, and it nearly killed me, how could I let Hyukjae in, especially when I feel for him what I’ve never felt for anyone before. And as if reading my mind, the alien says
“You’ll never know unless you try” and with that I was left alone, all alone on the marry-go-round, except the once green field that surrounded it is now on fire. But I’m not afraid, the fire is comforting somehow, and I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
That’s when I wake up, tears running down my cheek, and I exhale. I don’t feel the pressure anymore, the weight is gone, and I know what I have to do, I think I’ve always known.
I sit up, grab my phone and dial.
Ring
Ring
Ring
I’m nervous, but I won’t give up. Not this time.
Ring
“Hello?”
*****
Just in case you forgot the dream that Donghae is watching is the dream Hyukjae has in the first chapter