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...Before you even begin to think about clicking this, put on some good music, and get ready to read. You won't think this is coming from me...
Now, to begin things off, I had a very very gay night with Becca. I try to tell her what she's doing wrong, and try to help her out, instead of watching her fall into line with the girls who base themselves around guys, and don't even care abuot themselves. For those who saw the entry post about sending her to africa, I'm sorry. It was me, being the stupid person I am. I basically amt rying to prevent a huge depression she will go into, because sooner or later, it will fail her, and those guys will stop liking her. Anyone who has anything to say about this stuff that's gonna be said, go for it. That's what the Lj commecnt box is for.
You know your life sucks when you get a call from your grandma and her not knowing if she's gonna live through the past 6 months. Pretty sad. I don't know what to say. My grandma and I are awesome, she understands me more then my mom does. My mom is an insanly cool person, but she's stuck in the 80's. My grandma has spinners on her mercedes I mean come on people, she's the coolest person around. I love her so. I can't really tell you the feeling. I don't really know how to explain it. She's in Ohio, so I guess it almost feels like I'm on a leash, and can't do anything. It's really really hurtful.
If any of you have noticed a change in me latly, then good, because I have. I'm done pleasing people, I'm done "Dressing the way that makes me look good", I'm done trying to get attention from girls. None of that really matter to me. I'm going to start being myself, and not really caring about what other people think. I guess doing that is the first part of accepting God into my life, which, this is coming from the Atheist of 6 months ago, I have. I am building a relationship with God. I can feel it. You talk aloud, and when someone/something responds, you know that they are theere for you. It's an amazing feeling - not caring whether I'm alone or not, because either way I know I'm not.
The band is kind of picking up, which is really awesome, but for some reason, true friends are starting to show. People come to who, who again are obsessed with the scene, and not the music, "You have screaming?" Hardcore, Yeah!" No. Not at all. People try to pose as my friend now, "Hey you gonna take me on tour?" Stupidity. I'm not going to be eman to them, because once again I've changed, but to ignore me in school, and to ignore all the other kids is so wrong, and try to be my best friend now? Stupidity once again. People commit suicide everyday because they're tired of being ignored, and they're tired of not haveing any attention payed to them at school, and because you want to be popular, and the popular thing to do, is that, and they do it, so now you pay attention to them? I was an outcast in school. The only kid who owned a throwdown hoodie. The only kid with his lip pierced. Now it's cool, and before I was a "Gothic Fag." People have no understanding for others so they judge them. DO NOT EVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER. If you learn nothing in life, learn that. So many cool people exist out there, who you would have probably never looked twice at. I'm not saying everyone. Truly there are good people out there...But for the most part, they aren't.
My truck broke down, I have a 400$ a month truck payment, 200$ insurance because when I was in school I had striaght f's. 50$ cell phone payment. and it's all due, on the 1000$ I make every month, leaving me with not very much to do what I need/want to do. I really hope this life pays off. Grandma starting to die, truck breaking down..it's all like really gay right now. I think that if I wouldn't have already accepted God into my life, I would've done something durastic. Friends are always there for me, I know that, Especially Luke, Luke and I fit together so awesome. Same with Lukis, us three in the band, it's meant to be, I know it's meant to be. It's just finding the other parts to make it happen. I really, honestly, think it will work when we get the members all together, but that's just me. for all I know we could fail and dive into the ground like idiots. Who knows. All I know is that there has to be something for me. I'm a dropout, Failing, kid. All I have as talent is drums, maybe something will pay off?
While we're on the topic of things paying off, let's move onward to this whole little, "I hate Becca, I love Becca, I hate Britt, bla bla bla," and this is the par tthat will get the most comments. God forbid someone cares about Dustin's life before their name is mentioned in a harmful way in a live journal. Anyways, You both are friends. You know you both are friends. Britt exagerates and Becca needs attention, those two always collide, but ya'll need to get over it, and come back together as friends, if not, you'll both wind up doing something you ish you haden't.
Anyways, thats abuot all for now. I just needed to get some of that off of my chest before is just made me mad. I'll update tomorrow. Peace.
Now, to begin things off, I had a very very gay night with Becca. I try to tell her what she's doing wrong, and try to help her out, instead of watching her fall into line with the girls who base themselves around guys, and don't even care abuot themselves. For those who saw the entry post about sending her to africa, I'm sorry. It was me, being the stupid person I am. I basically amt rying to prevent a huge depression she will go into, because sooner or later, it will fail her, and those guys will stop liking her. Anyone who has anything to say about this stuff that's gonna be said, go for it. That's what the Lj commecnt box is for.
You know your life sucks when you get a call from your grandma and her not knowing if she's gonna live through the past 6 months. Pretty sad. I don't know what to say. My grandma and I are awesome, she understands me more then my mom does. My mom is an insanly cool person, but she's stuck in the 80's. My grandma has spinners on her mercedes I mean come on people, she's the coolest person around. I love her so. I can't really tell you the feeling. I don't really know how to explain it. She's in Ohio, so I guess it almost feels like I'm on a leash, and can't do anything. It's really really hurtful.
If any of you have noticed a change in me latly, then good, because I have. I'm done pleasing people, I'm done "Dressing the way that makes me look good", I'm done trying to get attention from girls. None of that really matter to me. I'm going to start being myself, and not really caring about what other people think. I guess doing that is the first part of accepting God into my life, which, this is coming from the Atheist of 6 months ago, I have. I am building a relationship with God. I can feel it. You talk aloud, and when someone/something responds, you know that they are theere for you. It's an amazing feeling - not caring whether I'm alone or not, because either way I know I'm not.
The band is kind of picking up, which is really awesome, but for some reason, true friends are starting to show. People come to who, who again are obsessed with the scene, and not the music, "You have screaming?" Hardcore, Yeah!" No. Not at all. People try to pose as my friend now, "Hey you gonna take me on tour?" Stupidity. I'm not going to be eman to them, because once again I've changed, but to ignore me in school, and to ignore all the other kids is so wrong, and try to be my best friend now? Stupidity once again. People commit suicide everyday because they're tired of being ignored, and they're tired of not haveing any attention payed to them at school, and because you want to be popular, and the popular thing to do, is that, and they do it, so now you pay attention to them? I was an outcast in school. The only kid who owned a throwdown hoodie. The only kid with his lip pierced. Now it's cool, and before I was a "Gothic Fag." People have no understanding for others so they judge them. DO NOT EVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER. If you learn nothing in life, learn that. So many cool people exist out there, who you would have probably never looked twice at. I'm not saying everyone. Truly there are good people out there...But for the most part, they aren't.
My truck broke down, I have a 400$ a month truck payment, 200$ insurance because when I was in school I had striaght f's. 50$ cell phone payment. and it's all due, on the 1000$ I make every month, leaving me with not very much to do what I need/want to do. I really hope this life pays off. Grandma starting to die, truck breaking down..it's all like really gay right now. I think that if I wouldn't have already accepted God into my life, I would've done something durastic. Friends are always there for me, I know that, Especially Luke, Luke and I fit together so awesome. Same with Lukis, us three in the band, it's meant to be, I know it's meant to be. It's just finding the other parts to make it happen. I really, honestly, think it will work when we get the members all together, but that's just me. for all I know we could fail and dive into the ground like idiots. Who knows. All I know is that there has to be something for me. I'm a dropout, Failing, kid. All I have as talent is drums, maybe something will pay off?
While we're on the topic of things paying off, let's move onward to this whole little, "I hate Becca, I love Becca, I hate Britt, bla bla bla," and this is the par tthat will get the most comments. God forbid someone cares about Dustin's life before their name is mentioned in a harmful way in a live journal. Anyways, You both are friends. You know you both are friends. Britt exagerates and Becca needs attention, those two always collide, but ya'll need to get over it, and come back together as friends, if not, you'll both wind up doing something you ish you haden't.
Anyways, thats abuot all for now. I just needed to get some of that off of my chest before is just made me mad. I'll update tomorrow. Peace.