Essay-ness
Here's the promised essay. Because Travis is so not writing anything about the dinner party.
On my way to work this morning, I discovered something new about Travis. I'd be more concerned about how much I contemplate my characters when I'm offline except for the fact that... well, I know I'm at home among other RP-geeks who understand.
So here's the scoop. Travis has intimacy issues.
Which would earn him a big duh and a place among half the male population if it weren't for the corollary revelation. It's because of his work.
To say that Travis eats, breathes and sleeps his work would be pretty close to accurate. Basically, his work and he matured at the same rate. He was 18 when he arrived in NYC. Uncertain teenager, trying to figure out what the heck to do with this life that he'd already decided wasn't going to end up some worthless nobody back home.
Professional consultant. Client relations. Professional Thief. Back in the day, he might have even been considered a Roman Tax Collector. He's taught himself a little bit about everything, including how to never let anyone know that you're not absolutely 100% confident that you can get the job done better than the guy next door. And Pseudo-confidence eventually breeds confidence. He's done well for himself, has made a broad contact base in the shadier trades of New York, has a decent rep, although certainly not a high-profile in either the under or the above societies.
When you arrive in NY with literally nothing more than a backpack and some change, you learn to adapt. And to make use of what tools you have. Smooth talking being the first, looks and sex being the second, and empath powers falling last.
Because he doesn't trust his powers. He's told perhaps three people about them in his lifetime, because it's best to keep some cards up your sleeve. So there are no bragging, no false confidence, and as such, no real confidence in his abilities. They're there, sometimes they help, but he's not going to risk his life on anything his senses tell him.
Smooth-talking. This he trusts. Time and time again, he's had to talk himself into or out of situations. Where he needs something or he needs to get out something. He doesn't believe half of what he says, although a lot of the time, it's hard to tell which half he believes and which half he doesn't. But when all else fails, just start talking until the other person walks away in frustration.
And finally, sex. He knows he's attractive. And he knows how to use that to get ahead. And this is one area where he's not afraid to use his powers to add lust to benefit from a situation. For him, sex is a tool. A means to getting what he wants. He's at the end of the spectrum where it doesn't have any symbolic meaning, no strings attached.
Then along comes Sabby. Who defies all three of these. He can't talk his way around her. She'll tell him exactly what she thinks of his BSing out of awkward situations. He can't rely on his senses, because Sabby's emotions are too unreadable for him, constantly shifting and changing, and frequently blends of polar emotions. And she wants affection from him. Which isn't the same as commitment, which he could manage. And she's absolutely right that it's not about the sex. Because he could give that as he has in the past, and have it mean nothing.
So she means something to him that he has no clue how to express, because affection is not an emotion he understands. And there's no way to explain this without sounding either stupid or weak. And he's had enough of failed attempts at explanation.
So, these are more ramblings than essay, I suppose. Free-thought, not very well structured, but hey, I was working today while thinking them through, so go easy on me.
On my way to work this morning, I discovered something new about Travis. I'd be more concerned about how much I contemplate my characters when I'm offline except for the fact that... well, I know I'm at home among other RP-geeks who understand.
So here's the scoop. Travis has intimacy issues.
Which would earn him a big duh and a place among half the male population if it weren't for the corollary revelation. It's because of his work.
To say that Travis eats, breathes and sleeps his work would be pretty close to accurate. Basically, his work and he matured at the same rate. He was 18 when he arrived in NYC. Uncertain teenager, trying to figure out what the heck to do with this life that he'd already decided wasn't going to end up some worthless nobody back home.
Professional consultant. Client relations. Professional Thief. Back in the day, he might have even been considered a Roman Tax Collector. He's taught himself a little bit about everything, including how to never let anyone know that you're not absolutely 100% confident that you can get the job done better than the guy next door. And Pseudo-confidence eventually breeds confidence. He's done well for himself, has made a broad contact base in the shadier trades of New York, has a decent rep, although certainly not a high-profile in either the under or the above societies.
When you arrive in NY with literally nothing more than a backpack and some change, you learn to adapt. And to make use of what tools you have. Smooth talking being the first, looks and sex being the second, and empath powers falling last.
Because he doesn't trust his powers. He's told perhaps three people about them in his lifetime, because it's best to keep some cards up your sleeve. So there are no bragging, no false confidence, and as such, no real confidence in his abilities. They're there, sometimes they help, but he's not going to risk his life on anything his senses tell him.
Smooth-talking. This he trusts. Time and time again, he's had to talk himself into or out of situations. Where he needs something or he needs to get out something. He doesn't believe half of what he says, although a lot of the time, it's hard to tell which half he believes and which half he doesn't. But when all else fails, just start talking until the other person walks away in frustration.
And finally, sex. He knows he's attractive. And he knows how to use that to get ahead. And this is one area where he's not afraid to use his powers to add lust to benefit from a situation. For him, sex is a tool. A means to getting what he wants. He's at the end of the spectrum where it doesn't have any symbolic meaning, no strings attached.
Then along comes Sabby. Who defies all three of these. He can't talk his way around her. She'll tell him exactly what she thinks of his BSing out of awkward situations. He can't rely on his senses, because Sabby's emotions are too unreadable for him, constantly shifting and changing, and frequently blends of polar emotions. And she wants affection from him. Which isn't the same as commitment, which he could manage. And she's absolutely right that it's not about the sex. Because he could give that as he has in the past, and have it mean nothing.
So she means something to him that he has no clue how to express, because affection is not an emotion he understands. And there's no way to explain this without sounding either stupid or weak. And he's had enough of failed attempts at explanation.
So, these are more ramblings than essay, I suppose. Free-thought, not very well structured, but hey, I was working today while thinking them through, so go easy on me.