Newborn babies are kind of frightening because of how fucking delicate everything about them is.

I can never sleep anymore.

I got 3 fish, but one died.

My other half is moving away on Tuesday to Chicago.

Beh.

Went to an art show so boring and typical I nearly died.

Jumpjumpjumped on my favorite trampoline and nearly fell.

Climbed the most scary climb ever to a roof and nearly had a heart attack.

Looked at him sitting across from me on my bed and nearly fell in love all over again!

So yesterday Johnny, Ashley and I were at jamba juice and this kid walks in ( Read more... )

6 months with the lover today! We win to the fullest extent of winning.

Also I have found my triplet.

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eatpaintbangsleepbangeatsleepgourdpaintbangeatsleep ( Read more... )

Pigs have 30 minute orgasms.

I wish I was a pig.

The boyfriend showed the sister my breast. Accidentally ( Read more... )

Today my mom caught Johnny and I having sex. And I couldnt get my pants back on for 5 minutes because one of the pant legs magically got eaten by the rest of the pants. Let me tell you; she was REALLY happy.

Also today the boyfriend said someone should name a Corgi dog Billy Corgi. His jokes are sooooo good!

And the handlebars are gone. Oh well

I saw Jessica Simpson on television yesterday tell her husband it was good she ' doesnt lick his asshole' because his butt was really hairy ( Read more... )

Twin power, fuckers.

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