things suck
I have been so stressed, frustrated and slightly depressed the past week. The fact that I'm not back at school is killing me and I'm not dealing well at all. As much as I hated certain things at school and all the work I had to do I am still incredibly jealous when people tell me about their classes. I want to be back at school so bad. I miss living with Courtney and just hanging out in the dorm. I miss meeting everyone at the DC for dinner and talking about the weirdos on campus. I miss my classes, especially the Classics ones.
I currently have $164 in my bank account and I think I owe at least $17,000 for loans. I have no money to do anything I want to. I can't find a job and my mother isn't helping at all. There's a new Forever21 opening in the mall near here and I sent them my resume last week. Two days ago I found out they were having open interviews and the last day was yesterday. I told my mom and she said she would take me. I wake up yesterday morning to find out Paula took the car to work cause my mom didn't feel good in the morning and she has an appointment as late as 5:30. I was so upset. I couldn't believe her. And she thinks it's okay because I sent them my resume and that's all that matters. The job opening isn't even listed on the website anymore. Like that was the only thing I had going for me because I have no idea what the fuck kind of job to look for.
I keep applying to random jobs but I haven't heard anything and they aren't even jobs I really want to do. I don't know what I really want to do and it's freaking me the fuck out!
Lisa said that she might have something part time for me if my Aunt can get a full time job. That is a huge fucking 'if'. And it's all the way in Braintree, I don't even know if I can really commute there.
I cried so much yesterday because I'm just so fed up and I don't know what to do anymore. I just can't believe my mother. I hate Paula she ruins everything, I swear.
I just need something. But I refuse to work some place that I hate. So if you suggest I apply to CVS or some shit like that, don't waste your time because I don't want to hear it.