my first legitimate journal post.
My icon perfectly summarizes how I feel about you right now.
This is just one specific 'you', one who won't read this, but whom I feel the need to address firsthand rather than complain about so I feel like I'm taking to you rather than bitching behind your back. Which I may very well be. But oh well.
Okay, first off, you were legitimately my friend. I promise you, you were. I cared about you, got on sometimes just to talk to you, texted you, told you things I've not told anyone else... I cared about you enough to listen to anything you had to say, about your screwed up love life, about how wasted you got, about how you're broke and miserable and can't afford a corset. I cared enough to try and console you, to want to make you happy.
Let me clear this up now: I never approved. Ever since I first heard about Squid, I didn't approve. The fact that he was married, I didn't approve. The fact that he still lived with his wife, I didn't approve. The fact that you hated him at whim, then went back to loving him the first drunk sappy horny text he sent you, I didn't approve. The fact that we had to listen to you talk about how amazing he is even though he just screwed you over, that we had to look at picture after picture even though none of us found him attractive, the fact that you constantly sat there and complimented his private parts...
That's another thing. You showed me pictures of him normal, and pictures of him in leotards with whips, and pictures of him in full-on clown makeup and tutus. There wasn't a single one of them that I found attractive, but I never once said anything about it. He nauseates me, quite frankly, and listening to you talk about the sex nearly brought me physical pain. But I never said anything. We never said anything. We, the rest of the seven. We all loved you to pieces, and didn't want to say a negative thing about your boy. But you sat there and said how each ugly picture made you so horny, and ugh...
You may have a few rebuttals so far. Yes, I do show a number of pictures of Beau. Yes, I may talk about him often. But first, everyone adores him. Him and I have a healthy relationship, and he is both attractive and very endearing. Squid, on the other hand, is the sweetest poison you've ever put in your system. You may think it's amazing, and some of the stuff he's done for you has been romantic and dedicated, but there will be no happily ever after. There won't. I'm sorry. And he keeps hurting you and being ugly, and none of us can see what you see in him at all.
He's fucking married, don't you get it? If he were married but totally ready for a divorce, or married but only in it because he can't afford to get out like you initially said, I'd get it. I was all for it, back then, because he was going to be on the market. But no. He's had plenty of time to leave her, but instead, he sleeps with her, and you don't take that as some sort of a warning sign? AND YOU'RE GOING TO VISIT HIM. With the money that could bring you here, to see what used to be the rest of your friends. People who were willing to love you like you should be loved and listen to you when you were sad rather than just texting 'I don't know' and help you get your life back in order.
I'm sorry we don't have penises.
But it's still no excuse to disregard us and how we feel and what we can do for you. You live with your parents and have no license and are devoted to a married man ('devoted' here means 'unless you can get into the pants of someone better looking') and are totally content to own a sock shop as your lifelong career.
We don't hate you for being a 'stupid whore'. Listen to me and listen to me now, we never thought of you as a stupid whore, so you'd better fucking quit feeling sorry for yourself. That's all that post was, you feeling sorry for yourself. That's all you ever do, feel sorry for yourself, and we had to sit there and know with 100% certainty that you fucked yourself over, and if we told you, you'd just get all pissy and say we don't understand.
Because we're so much younger and more immature than you. And nothing even relatively bad ever happens in our life. Does it? That's what you act like. Someone can say something bad happened that day, and the rest of us would be sympathetic, but you, true to your nature, would say, "Oh, well (insert worse event here) happened to me today." or something like that. You'd always have to top it, as if to prove your life just sucks that hard.
And you compared me to Bailey? You were the one always on your high horse, always being attention-spoiled. If one of us so much as had an issue, it was us who were spoiled, because 'such little things were such big deals' or whatever. If one of us made even the slightest hint that your problem was your own fault, or something that wasn't all that bad, you'd freak the hell out and get all bitchy at us.
And we didn't do this behind your back. You blatantly refused to talk to me about it when I brought it up, or Kendra when she did. Poor Kari has been showing signs for ages but has been too considerate to bring it up. Your constant talk about his impressive private parts actually caused her to leave a good deal of the time, but did you care?
That's a stupid question. Do you ever care? About anybody but yourself, I mean.
So in summary, I'm sorry a doomed relationship and a bunch of emo bullshit were enough to destroy what I thought was a number of good friendships, and I hope you find friends who will fawn over every bad thing that happens to you, kiss the boo-boo, make it better. Because y'know what? Those aren't real friends. We were real friends to you, so we didn't want to put up with it, we wanted to help you fix it, to get your life back into shape, the help you settle for what we were so sure you were worth.
But I guess you weren't worth it after all.
Four of your 'closest friends' just made it clear that they no longer want to be friends with who you've become, and you post a little bitty livejournal message that says, in summary, "sorry for being a stupid whore or whatever, but it isn't worth fighting to be friends with you".
That's what pisses me off, Rebecca Uerling. That after all we did for you, after we loved you enough to try so hard to get through to you, we aren't worth more than a skimpy little livejournal post of dismissal.
Fuck you, Becca. I hope life continues to screw you over just like it is now. And guess what? You just threw away some of the few people who honestly and truly loved you.
Have a good day.
This is just one specific 'you', one who won't read this, but whom I feel the need to address firsthand rather than complain about so I feel like I'm taking to you rather than bitching behind your back. Which I may very well be. But oh well.
Okay, first off, you were legitimately my friend. I promise you, you were. I cared about you, got on sometimes just to talk to you, texted you, told you things I've not told anyone else... I cared about you enough to listen to anything you had to say, about your screwed up love life, about how wasted you got, about how you're broke and miserable and can't afford a corset. I cared enough to try and console you, to want to make you happy.
Let me clear this up now: I never approved. Ever since I first heard about Squid, I didn't approve. The fact that he was married, I didn't approve. The fact that he still lived with his wife, I didn't approve. The fact that you hated him at whim, then went back to loving him the first drunk sappy horny text he sent you, I didn't approve. The fact that we had to listen to you talk about how amazing he is even though he just screwed you over, that we had to look at picture after picture even though none of us found him attractive, the fact that you constantly sat there and complimented his private parts...
That's another thing. You showed me pictures of him normal, and pictures of him in leotards with whips, and pictures of him in full-on clown makeup and tutus. There wasn't a single one of them that I found attractive, but I never once said anything about it. He nauseates me, quite frankly, and listening to you talk about the sex nearly brought me physical pain. But I never said anything. We never said anything. We, the rest of the seven. We all loved you to pieces, and didn't want to say a negative thing about your boy. But you sat there and said how each ugly picture made you so horny, and ugh...
You may have a few rebuttals so far. Yes, I do show a number of pictures of Beau. Yes, I may talk about him often. But first, everyone adores him. Him and I have a healthy relationship, and he is both attractive and very endearing. Squid, on the other hand, is the sweetest poison you've ever put in your system. You may think it's amazing, and some of the stuff he's done for you has been romantic and dedicated, but there will be no happily ever after. There won't. I'm sorry. And he keeps hurting you and being ugly, and none of us can see what you see in him at all.
He's fucking married, don't you get it? If he were married but totally ready for a divorce, or married but only in it because he can't afford to get out like you initially said, I'd get it. I was all for it, back then, because he was going to be on the market. But no. He's had plenty of time to leave her, but instead, he sleeps with her, and you don't take that as some sort of a warning sign? AND YOU'RE GOING TO VISIT HIM. With the money that could bring you here, to see what used to be the rest of your friends. People who were willing to love you like you should be loved and listen to you when you were sad rather than just texting 'I don't know' and help you get your life back in order.
I'm sorry we don't have penises.
But it's still no excuse to disregard us and how we feel and what we can do for you. You live with your parents and have no license and are devoted to a married man ('devoted' here means 'unless you can get into the pants of someone better looking') and are totally content to own a sock shop as your lifelong career.
We don't hate you for being a 'stupid whore'. Listen to me and listen to me now, we never thought of you as a stupid whore, so you'd better fucking quit feeling sorry for yourself. That's all that post was, you feeling sorry for yourself. That's all you ever do, feel sorry for yourself, and we had to sit there and know with 100% certainty that you fucked yourself over, and if we told you, you'd just get all pissy and say we don't understand.
Because we're so much younger and more immature than you. And nothing even relatively bad ever happens in our life. Does it? That's what you act like. Someone can say something bad happened that day, and the rest of us would be sympathetic, but you, true to your nature, would say, "Oh, well (insert worse event here) happened to me today." or something like that. You'd always have to top it, as if to prove your life just sucks that hard.
And you compared me to Bailey? You were the one always on your high horse, always being attention-spoiled. If one of us so much as had an issue, it was us who were spoiled, because 'such little things were such big deals' or whatever. If one of us made even the slightest hint that your problem was your own fault, or something that wasn't all that bad, you'd freak the hell out and get all bitchy at us.
And we didn't do this behind your back. You blatantly refused to talk to me about it when I brought it up, or Kendra when she did. Poor Kari has been showing signs for ages but has been too considerate to bring it up. Your constant talk about his impressive private parts actually caused her to leave a good deal of the time, but did you care?
That's a stupid question. Do you ever care? About anybody but yourself, I mean.
So in summary, I'm sorry a doomed relationship and a bunch of emo bullshit were enough to destroy what I thought was a number of good friendships, and I hope you find friends who will fawn over every bad thing that happens to you, kiss the boo-boo, make it better. Because y'know what? Those aren't real friends. We were real friends to you, so we didn't want to put up with it, we wanted to help you fix it, to get your life back into shape, the help you settle for what we were so sure you were worth.
But I guess you weren't worth it after all.
Four of your 'closest friends' just made it clear that they no longer want to be friends with who you've become, and you post a little bitty livejournal message that says, in summary, "sorry for being a stupid whore or whatever, but it isn't worth fighting to be friends with you".
That's what pisses me off, Rebecca Uerling. That after all we did for you, after we loved you enough to try so hard to get through to you, we aren't worth more than a skimpy little livejournal post of dismissal.
Fuck you, Becca. I hope life continues to screw you over just like it is now. And guess what? You just threw away some of the few people who honestly and truly loved you.
Have a good day.