6 ;; eek, haven't posted in a while
Honestly? There just isn't much to say. Or at least, hasn't been. That's why I haven't posted.
But I've gathered a few things to talk about, so I suppose I'll talk about them. :D
Well, first, this is being posted from my new laptop. ♥ Hell yes. It's an amazing piece of computer, with buttons and shiny silver features, and... akajdakdhad. It's just wonderful. Though the silver of it smudges so easily, I've gotta choke down my OCD just to be able to look at it. Yeah, I know, 'how can anything bother you about a new laptop'? Well really, it doesn't bother me, it's just... OCD-inducing.
Second... I've found something to do that really entertains me. And I've made a couple of friends through it, too. Heck, it even helped me start talking to an old friend again, and he's overjoyed that we're talking and all that again. Which is a topic for another paragraph. But this entertaining something... I wish there was a way to filter who sees a post and who doesn't. Or at least, sees part of it. Because I'd love to talk about this really fun thing, but for the fact that I've got a friend who may or may not judge me for it. (No, it's not immoral or weird, don't get that idea, silly people.) If I find a way around this, or just end up telling her... All the better.
Okay, like I said, a new thing for a new paragraph. Here it is:
I have this friend, see. Well, he used to be my friend. Let's call him S. S and I met because we both were writers. Of fanfiction, actually. Wait, no, I remember now, we met because another friend (M, the friend I reunited with earlier tonight) pretty much idolized him at the time. So as a gift to M, since M rocked my socks, I wanted to introduce them. Soooo that got S and I talking, now that I'd contacted him. Time goes on, and suddenly we're great friends and co-writing a story. Four or five months later, S says he loves me. I was with my ex at the time, and I didn't like S like that anyway beyond just really good friendlove (it was over the internet... There's only been one person over the internet that I've genuinely cared about like that, though he spent a good length of time hating me, but I'll not specify who he is, seeing as he may or may not read this sometime in the future). Basically, I turned him down. And for maybe another month, he persisted.
Then, for some reason, we stopped talking.
I dunno. He just quit saying hi to me. He was still friendly when I messaged him, but something was... weird.
We've only talked occasionally since then. Mostly, he's unresponsive, using faces (":\", "o.o") or one word sentences ("heh." "k."), and it feels like pulling teeth getting him to talk.
So I told him yesterday that I genuinely wanted to talk to him, but he just... wouldn't. And that I was done trying to force it, and to talk to me when he wanted to be friends again.
I doubt he will.
And though we're not super good friends anymore, we used to be, and that kills me a little bit, that he really doesn't care anymore.
That's why I was actually kind of scared to talk to M tonight. When M and I met, he talked to me first, so I never had to poke out of my shell until it was established that we could click as good friends. But all throughout our lovehatefriendship, I was pretty much constantly aware of how much more epic he was than I am. He's a better writer, he's smarter, he's more interesting to talk to... But it was all fine, since he had fun talking to me like I did him.
We hadn't talked in a year, before tonight. He has a bigger reputation now. I've never actually been that scared to talk to a friend in my life. I don't know why. I didn't used to be like this...
...
Ugh, enough of that. It's too late at night to get all thoughtful. >_<; And I can't sleep, for reasons that I'm not going to specify due to the possibility that some male might read this. Obvious!Marissa is obvious. ^^;
And I want to make icons. A lot of them. But I can't seem to get started.
The fact that I'm stuck in Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney isn't helping.
Why is my inbox still empty? >_< I should have gotten some replies by now...
Ugh. I wanna write someone a letter. But that would just complicate things, now wouldn't it?
...
Supermexicans--
(Wow, that word sounds so weird after such a serious post.) For the most part, you shouldn't be able to understand any of this post. It was all before you guys. I could tell you, if you want. If you promise not to tell a certain nineteen-going-on-six-year-old, should you ever get a chance to talk to him when I'm not around.
Those of you I met through FF.net originally--
You might understand parts of it. It wasn't before your time.
Everyone else--
I swear, I'm not always this... kaldjakjdalkd. You understand, right? ♥
On a concluding note: I hate jealousy. It... hurts.
EDIT: Oh, I forgot: Yesterday? My birthday. Hell yes. :D
But I've gathered a few things to talk about, so I suppose I'll talk about them. :D
Well, first, this is being posted from my new laptop. ♥ Hell yes. It's an amazing piece of computer, with buttons and shiny silver features, and... akajdakdhad. It's just wonderful. Though the silver of it smudges so easily, I've gotta choke down my OCD just to be able to look at it. Yeah, I know, 'how can anything bother you about a new laptop'? Well really, it doesn't bother me, it's just... OCD-inducing.
Second... I've found something to do that really entertains me. And I've made a couple of friends through it, too. Heck, it even helped me start talking to an old friend again, and he's overjoyed that we're talking and all that again. Which is a topic for another paragraph. But this entertaining something... I wish there was a way to filter who sees a post and who doesn't. Or at least, sees part of it. Because I'd love to talk about this really fun thing, but for the fact that I've got a friend who may or may not judge me for it. (No, it's not immoral or weird, don't get that idea, silly people.) If I find a way around this, or just end up telling her... All the better.
Okay, like I said, a new thing for a new paragraph. Here it is:
I have this friend, see. Well, he used to be my friend. Let's call him S. S and I met because we both were writers. Of fanfiction, actually. Wait, no, I remember now, we met because another friend (M, the friend I reunited with earlier tonight) pretty much idolized him at the time. So as a gift to M, since M rocked my socks, I wanted to introduce them. Soooo that got S and I talking, now that I'd contacted him. Time goes on, and suddenly we're great friends and co-writing a story. Four or five months later, S says he loves me. I was with my ex at the time, and I didn't like S like that anyway beyond just really good friendlove (it was over the internet... There's only been one person over the internet that I've genuinely cared about like that, though he spent a good length of time hating me, but I'll not specify who he is, seeing as he may or may not read this sometime in the future). Basically, I turned him down. And for maybe another month, he persisted.
Then, for some reason, we stopped talking.
I dunno. He just quit saying hi to me. He was still friendly when I messaged him, but something was... weird.
We've only talked occasionally since then. Mostly, he's unresponsive, using faces (":\", "o.o") or one word sentences ("heh." "k."), and it feels like pulling teeth getting him to talk.
So I told him yesterday that I genuinely wanted to talk to him, but he just... wouldn't. And that I was done trying to force it, and to talk to me when he wanted to be friends again.
I doubt he will.
And though we're not super good friends anymore, we used to be, and that kills me a little bit, that he really doesn't care anymore.
That's why I was actually kind of scared to talk to M tonight. When M and I met, he talked to me first, so I never had to poke out of my shell until it was established that we could click as good friends. But all throughout our lovehatefriendship, I was pretty much constantly aware of how much more epic he was than I am. He's a better writer, he's smarter, he's more interesting to talk to... But it was all fine, since he had fun talking to me like I did him.
We hadn't talked in a year, before tonight. He has a bigger reputation now. I've never actually been that scared to talk to a friend in my life. I don't know why. I didn't used to be like this...
...
Ugh, enough of that. It's too late at night to get all thoughtful. >_<; And I can't sleep, for reasons that I'm not going to specify due to the possibility that some male might read this. Obvious!Marissa is obvious. ^^;
And I want to make icons. A lot of them. But I can't seem to get started.
The fact that I'm stuck in Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney isn't helping.
Why is my inbox still empty? >_< I should have gotten some replies by now...
Ugh. I wanna write someone a letter. But that would just complicate things, now wouldn't it?
...
Supermexicans--
(Wow, that word sounds so weird after such a serious post.) For the most part, you shouldn't be able to understand any of this post. It was all before you guys. I could tell you, if you want. If you promise not to tell a certain nineteen-going-on-six-year-old, should you ever get a chance to talk to him when I'm not around.
Those of you I met through FF.net originally--
You might understand parts of it. It wasn't before your time.
Everyone else--
I swear, I'm not always this... kaldjakjdalkd. You understand, right? ♥
On a concluding note: I hate jealousy. It... hurts.
EDIT: Oh, I forgot: Yesterday? My birthday. Hell yes. :D