If you don't want to be the person that you feel like you are when you are around or at your mother's, then just hold on to the person that you want to be, even if it is just an idea. Remember all of the good things that you have expirienced and all of the people you have met through your life. You are a strong individual and you can beat the urges and the other side of you that you hate so much and wants to come back. Even if you do accidentally take steps back, you need to remember about the people around you who you can fall back on and who want to help you. It's good to have weekends or even a day or so off from the stresses of everyday life... Take more of them, especially if the opportunity arises to get away.
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I lov eyou ybe xox <3
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love youuuuu
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