(no subject)
"im all alone
no where to go
my hearts cold as stone
and is numb from PAIN
with nothing to gain
i continue down this empty path
full of death's silence and god's wrath
with no one to turn to
i sing to myself
death's loving song
calling my name
knowing my pain
i've found my companion
a healthy stallion
carrying me to destiny"
-me
these past couple of weeks have been hell. im tired. im worn out. im drained from all this bullshit. but through it all, there's one person that helps me to keep moving forward. i've made a couple mistakes the past few days. do i regret it? no. do i feel sorry for it? yess. i do. cuz i hurt an innocent person that didnt deserve to be hurt. but i also know that everyone makes mistakes and i hope this person knows that the true person i am wouldnt normally do that. a lot of things have been getting to me lately. i dont know why. i am usually a strong, open minded, easy going, fun person. but for the past couple of weeks i've been stressed out. and sad. and angry. i HATE it!!! cuz im normally the person that doesnt give a shit. im jus here for a good time. but as a result, i have learned a few things along the way. such as, i need to listen to myself and not other pple. mai business is not your business. as much as i would love to tell pple wats going on in mai life..i cant. one reason is cuz i cant trust pple anymore. second is cuz all pple do is feed me their bullshit opinions about MAI life. so, we are ending that right now..=) i also learned that instead of keeping mai feelings in and exploding, i should tell pple I TRUST. also..the past is the past. as much as i would love for things to be different..i cant change it. i just have to deal with it and be strong. if i need help, i have friends (and bf) to help. i wish so much for things to be different. i wish mai mom was here. i wish i still lived in hawaii..(with an acception of a couple pple i would take wit me..lol) i wish certain things that happened to me during mai childhood never happened..but they DID. i cant change it. mai past has made me who i am. i have hit rock bottom one too many times in my life. and from there i can only build up. soo move out of mai way cuz im not stopping for anyone who's gonna fuck wit me or mai mind. im here to have fun, be a good friend and gf, and partayyy. so thank you for your time. i love you all. <3 for reals.