[chaptered] i'm so crazy for you (1/?)
i'm so crazy for you.
pg-13. youngsaeng/jungmin.
he was just a bat boy to youngsaeng...or an ex-bat boy, rather. his feelings would never matter.
chapter one of ???
youngsaeng's whole life had been baseball. he'd been playing ever since he could throw a ball, ever since he could run and catch it. his father told him that one day, he'd be famous. he'd be on television, winning games, winning trophies.
he'd been through school on the baseball team every single year, just to prepare for the big league.
it was all he had dreamed of, it was all he knew. and it came to be a reality -- one too real for his tastes.
"i can't do this anymore." youngsaeng murmured, turning the baseball bat in his hands. "it's...i don't get that thrill anymore of getting a home run. the adrenaline...it's not there." he whispered. "what's the point of doing something i don't enjoy, right?"
the younger man in the room swallowed. "you have to, hyung, your father---"
youngsaeng let out a snort, rolling his eyes. "if it wasn't for my father pushing me so much i wouldn't even be having this problem, jungmin ah." he said quietly. "i'd still love it if i didn't breathe it." he snapped.
jungmin winced. "w-well you can't just quit." he blurted. "you still love it, you..." he bit his lower lip. "i might only be your bat boy, but i can't let you quit." he shot the man a glare. "that spark in your eyes, when you run. it's still there, so even if the adrenaline isn't you must---"
a finger went to his lips and jungmin's face flushed at the contact.
"you talk too much." youngsaeng said under his breath, setting the baseball bat down on the bench in the locker room.
"to make up for you talking too little." jungmin flashed a smile.
youngsaeng rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "i'm serious, i can't...i can't do it anymore, i feel no passion." he repeated. "you love acting, right? what if you...did it so much you couldn't stand it?" he questioned, tilting his head. "that's where i'm coming from, jungmin ah, i just..." his voice trailed.
jungmin sighed. "i don't do enough acting to get tired of it, saeng." he mused. "i work at a cafe, i take acting classes for univeristy. i don't spend whole seasons on it....as much as i'd like to." he frowned.
"why did you do this in the first place?" youngsaeng asked, taking off the gloves on his hands. "you've stuck with me for two years and i still don't understand why."
you was the one word jungmin wanted to blurt out, but he only shrugged instead, smiling again. "it's interesting." was all he could say.
youngsaeng raised an eyebrow. "interesting, huh." he repeated. "you're a terrible liar."
"i am not." jungmin pouted. "it is interesting. although sports aren't my thing...it doesn't put me to sleep like others do." he pointed out.
youngsaeng snorted. "i feel so honored that you stay awake just to watch me." he said dryly.
"is there ever a moment you aren't being sarcastic?" jungmin let out a groan. "look, hyung, i just don't want you to give up everything you worked for." he quickly went back to the subject at hand. "you're twenty-four, you've spent the majority of your life doing baseball and to give it all up is stupid." he mumbled.
at the narrowing of youngsaeng's eyes, he winced again. "i'm not saying you're stupid, saeng, i'm saying to not give up what you worked for. you had a dream and look where you are now." he gestured to the locker room.
the older man only raised an eyebrow. "yeah, the disgusting locker rooms of a baseball team, that's where i am now. i make a hell of a lot of money but that doesn't mean i'm happy with it." he replied. "i'm tired of it." he pulled the shirt of the uniform over his head and jungmin had to quickly avert his eyes, face reddening.
"i'm talking to my father about quitting the team tomorrow. i'll make up some excuse." youngsaeng grabbed a plain white t-shirt and put it on. "you can't convince me otherwise, jungmin ah. once i'm gone from the team...so are you." he smiled. "you really are a terrible liar, i know you don't enjoy it. it's fine. i don't anymore either." he reached over to ruffle the redhead's hair. "have a good night."
the next thing jungmin knew, he was staring at the swinging door to the locker room and he swallowed as the words sunk into his brain.
it wasn't like he'd meant for it to happen...falling for youngsaeng. he'd been a sophomore in university and his idiot friend hyungjoon took him to a game out of boredom. he soon discovered it wasn't that bad, as he laid eyes on a player by the name of heo youngsaeng.
after the game led him wandering around the stadium as hyungjoon found an old friend from high school and being the clumsy one he was, he bumped into someone. youngsaeng.
the baseball player had studied him at first, nodded, and he was apparently appointed ball/bat boy for the new player.
he couldn't just let youngsaeng quit. if only for his own feelings, he knew he'd most likely never see the older man again if something happened. he had to convice him to stay. but how...?
the redhead sighed and prepared for a long night at home, thinking of ideas. he'd do anything just so youngsaeng would stay. anything.
jungmin had contemplated many times that night on grabbing his cell phone and texting (if he said it he'd be a stuttering mess) his feelings for the baseball player, telling him that should be reason alone on why he shouldn't leave, couldn't leave.
he got as far as typing 'i love' before he chickened out and willed himself to go to sleep.
he hadn't been so surprised to wake up to his phone flashing, signaling he had received a text message.
honestly? he was scared to open it. he knew it'd say something along the lines of i did it. i'm out and so are you.
as much as he hated baseball, he didn't want out. he wanted to stay, wanted to be youngsaeng's friend (more than that, but that wasn't the point), wanted to do whatever he could to help the older man.
he let out a sigh and sat up in his bed, rubbing his tired eyes. he picked up his phone and flipped it open, still prepared for the worst.
it took quite a while, but it's done. father already has a replacement. he wasn't pleased, of course, but i told him the truth. feel free to pick up your stuff later today. thanks for everything, i guess.
the last sentence stung.
jungmin shut his eyes and sighed again. youngsaeng was normally cold and sarcastic, he shouldn't have been surprised at the message. thanks for everything, i guess.
that certainly made the older man's feelings for him obvious.
and damn it all if it didn't hurt his heart, just a bit.
he cleaned out his locker with the hope that maybe he'd see youngsaeng, maybe he could try one last time to convince him to not quit.
he knew it wouldn't be any use, but it'd be worth a shot. it was useless hoping, though, as he went back home. he'd sent the older man a text, saying that he had gotten his stuff. all he received back was an okay.
jungmin had given two years of his life to baseball (not like the job was huge anyway, but still) and youngsaeng probably didn't even care about him. he knew he had been an idiot to accept the whole offer in the first place. it was fun, sure, but...
it wasn't worth this.
he wouldn't call it heartbreak exactly, but it was close enough.
cheesiness and suckiness galore I am sorry. .___. But I'm back with something other than a oneshot this time! :D
This is for mskatness, who helped me come up with the idea. ♥ There's also no set schedule for this being posted, it's taking me ages to write it haha. Chapter two will pop up eventually~ ^_^
pg-13. youngsaeng/jungmin.
he was just a bat boy to youngsaeng...or an ex-bat boy, rather. his feelings would never matter.
chapter one of ???
youngsaeng's whole life had been baseball. he'd been playing ever since he could throw a ball, ever since he could run and catch it. his father told him that one day, he'd be famous. he'd be on television, winning games, winning trophies.
he'd been through school on the baseball team every single year, just to prepare for the big league.
it was all he had dreamed of, it was all he knew. and it came to be a reality -- one too real for his tastes.
"i can't do this anymore." youngsaeng murmured, turning the baseball bat in his hands. "it's...i don't get that thrill anymore of getting a home run. the adrenaline...it's not there." he whispered. "what's the point of doing something i don't enjoy, right?"
the younger man in the room swallowed. "you have to, hyung, your father---"
youngsaeng let out a snort, rolling his eyes. "if it wasn't for my father pushing me so much i wouldn't even be having this problem, jungmin ah." he said quietly. "i'd still love it if i didn't breathe it." he snapped.
jungmin winced. "w-well you can't just quit." he blurted. "you still love it, you..." he bit his lower lip. "i might only be your bat boy, but i can't let you quit." he shot the man a glare. "that spark in your eyes, when you run. it's still there, so even if the adrenaline isn't you must---"
a finger went to his lips and jungmin's face flushed at the contact.
"you talk too much." youngsaeng said under his breath, setting the baseball bat down on the bench in the locker room.
"to make up for you talking too little." jungmin flashed a smile.
youngsaeng rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "i'm serious, i can't...i can't do it anymore, i feel no passion." he repeated. "you love acting, right? what if you...did it so much you couldn't stand it?" he questioned, tilting his head. "that's where i'm coming from, jungmin ah, i just..." his voice trailed.
jungmin sighed. "i don't do enough acting to get tired of it, saeng." he mused. "i work at a cafe, i take acting classes for univeristy. i don't spend whole seasons on it....as much as i'd like to." he frowned.
"why did you do this in the first place?" youngsaeng asked, taking off the gloves on his hands. "you've stuck with me for two years and i still don't understand why."
you was the one word jungmin wanted to blurt out, but he only shrugged instead, smiling again. "it's interesting." was all he could say.
youngsaeng raised an eyebrow. "interesting, huh." he repeated. "you're a terrible liar."
"i am not." jungmin pouted. "it is interesting. although sports aren't my thing...it doesn't put me to sleep like others do." he pointed out.
youngsaeng snorted. "i feel so honored that you stay awake just to watch me." he said dryly.
"is there ever a moment you aren't being sarcastic?" jungmin let out a groan. "look, hyung, i just don't want you to give up everything you worked for." he quickly went back to the subject at hand. "you're twenty-four, you've spent the majority of your life doing baseball and to give it all up is stupid." he mumbled.
at the narrowing of youngsaeng's eyes, he winced again. "i'm not saying you're stupid, saeng, i'm saying to not give up what you worked for. you had a dream and look where you are now." he gestured to the locker room.
the older man only raised an eyebrow. "yeah, the disgusting locker rooms of a baseball team, that's where i am now. i make a hell of a lot of money but that doesn't mean i'm happy with it." he replied. "i'm tired of it." he pulled the shirt of the uniform over his head and jungmin had to quickly avert his eyes, face reddening.
"i'm talking to my father about quitting the team tomorrow. i'll make up some excuse." youngsaeng grabbed a plain white t-shirt and put it on. "you can't convince me otherwise, jungmin ah. once i'm gone from the team...so are you." he smiled. "you really are a terrible liar, i know you don't enjoy it. it's fine. i don't anymore either." he reached over to ruffle the redhead's hair. "have a good night."
the next thing jungmin knew, he was staring at the swinging door to the locker room and he swallowed as the words sunk into his brain.
it wasn't like he'd meant for it to happen...falling for youngsaeng. he'd been a sophomore in university and his idiot friend hyungjoon took him to a game out of boredom. he soon discovered it wasn't that bad, as he laid eyes on a player by the name of heo youngsaeng.
after the game led him wandering around the stadium as hyungjoon found an old friend from high school and being the clumsy one he was, he bumped into someone. youngsaeng.
the baseball player had studied him at first, nodded, and he was apparently appointed ball/bat boy for the new player.
he couldn't just let youngsaeng quit. if only for his own feelings, he knew he'd most likely never see the older man again if something happened. he had to convice him to stay. but how...?
the redhead sighed and prepared for a long night at home, thinking of ideas. he'd do anything just so youngsaeng would stay. anything.
jungmin had contemplated many times that night on grabbing his cell phone and texting (if he said it he'd be a stuttering mess) his feelings for the baseball player, telling him that should be reason alone on why he shouldn't leave, couldn't leave.
he got as far as typing 'i love' before he chickened out and willed himself to go to sleep.
he hadn't been so surprised to wake up to his phone flashing, signaling he had received a text message.
honestly? he was scared to open it. he knew it'd say something along the lines of i did it. i'm out and so are you.
as much as he hated baseball, he didn't want out. he wanted to stay, wanted to be youngsaeng's friend (more than that, but that wasn't the point), wanted to do whatever he could to help the older man.
he let out a sigh and sat up in his bed, rubbing his tired eyes. he picked up his phone and flipped it open, still prepared for the worst.
it took quite a while, but it's done. father already has a replacement. he wasn't pleased, of course, but i told him the truth. feel free to pick up your stuff later today. thanks for everything, i guess.
the last sentence stung.
jungmin shut his eyes and sighed again. youngsaeng was normally cold and sarcastic, he shouldn't have been surprised at the message. thanks for everything, i guess.
that certainly made the older man's feelings for him obvious.
and damn it all if it didn't hurt his heart, just a bit.
he cleaned out his locker with the hope that maybe he'd see youngsaeng, maybe he could try one last time to convince him to not quit.
he knew it wouldn't be any use, but it'd be worth a shot. it was useless hoping, though, as he went back home. he'd sent the older man a text, saying that he had gotten his stuff. all he received back was an okay.
jungmin had given two years of his life to baseball (not like the job was huge anyway, but still) and youngsaeng probably didn't even care about him. he knew he had been an idiot to accept the whole offer in the first place. it was fun, sure, but...
it wasn't worth this.
he wouldn't call it heartbreak exactly, but it was close enough.
cheesiness and suckiness galore I am sorry. .___. But I'm back with something other than a oneshot this time! :D
This is for mskatness, who helped me come up with the idea. ♥ There's also no set schedule for this being posted, it's taking me ages to write it haha. Chapter two will pop up eventually~ ^_^