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Um.. i was so happy for the shortest amount of time
and now its gone. i dont know where it went
and i dont know why its gone.
but it is.
I've been thinking alot.
alot alot.
and um i dont know where i ended.
but i do know that i hate this feeling.
i dont even know what this feeling is.
Last night i found these pictures.
Let me tell you how much i fucking miss these girls. all 3 of them best friends. One of thems gone and the other two will never be the same. I started reading the letter that i wrote nicole and i couldn't even finish the first page. Worst of all ashlee and leann are still here. and because of ONE particular person ( i wont mention any names here ) Had to fucking talk so much shit and make me and ashlee never be friends again. Leann i never see ever. and to me thats worst. they are still here yet i see them as much as i see nicole. I really do wish that things were the way they were 2 summers ago. You want to talk about the best summer of my life? Go back to Freshman summer. Me and melissa were best friends. Bethany and I were best friends. Ashlee, Leann, Jamie santini, Jenna, Cassidy, Amber, Shella, Kevin, Kyle, Trevor, matt, Drew, Lauren, Nikki, Stephen, Rj, Reid, NICOLE. Ever since that summer. ever since nicole left us. They all left me!! i used to be so happy, i found the good in everything there was ALWAYS a plus side. I had the largest group of best friends and i loved them all sooo much and i seriously have this HUGE HOLE in my fucking heart. i miss them all and i wish things were the way they are. Just read this. its a random journal entry except its really not so random. it was my last night with nicole:
XScReAmiNgAtYoUx: the fact that before penguins swim they have to check the water for sharks.. so they all line up on the edge and then one penguin pushes in the other
XScReAmiNgAtYoUx: hahah
XScReAmiNgAtYoUx: and if he lives they swim. and if not they leave him
XScReAmiNgAtYoUx: hahah
fLiPcHiK1493: HAHAHHAHAHAHA
fLiPcHiK1493: thats the greatest fact EVER
XScReAmiNgAtYoUx: haha i know it was funny
XScReAmiNgAtYoUx: hahah he just pushes him in!
XScReAmiNgAtYoUx: i cant get over that
fLiPcHiK1493: hahaha
o ashlee that was the funniest thing i have heard all week i heart you!! i wish you culd have come last night!!
OOO alright lets get down t bizzynas people.. last night wa tota KICK ACE!! i couldn't put into words how freaking fun it was. I came up with weid in the mini pimp.. cuz the orig. pimp is almost dizzead =( but anyways we were passin cars havin a ball then we showed up and nicol an cassidy came up to me and i hugged both of the litte munchkins haha even though i am smaller then them its ok then i found leann and attacked her!AR!! hehe reid thought she looked like a pirate haha later that evening me and nicole flirted with the merchandizing seller guy and got free buttns and stickers! haha my "i heart milk" buttons were the shiiit! everyone wanted one haha me and nicole attacked leann and then me and leann attacked nicole and sat on her feet hahaa then me and nicole found boo, and went in Rj's back yard to chillax in the hammock when out of no where it turnd us over and this guy named evan, or princess sophia, decided to ay a little hello he was from the band edesin good band all the band kicked major booty i had bubbles that brandn johns ended up with and i feared for their life because i had a dream that brandon johns tried to smoke them! haha but anyways the concrt was fun even though holiday didn't play i got to see leann niole cassidy kevin kyle OH WAIT i almost forgot the best part of the night!! me and leann were sittn on the porch when drummer steve comes hoping along ith my shos o! so i kicked him th butt and said "hey nice shoes" and he laghed andgave me a big hug haha it was fun GOOD NIGHT! but..
...{i}xMISSx[bethany]... haha she needs to come home gosh dang it so we can skip to eachothers house and eat chocolate chip cookies remenising over missed time!!!!! wooo i heart bethany! lol\
haha i gave ashlee a "i heart milk" button and m giving her 3 cents to do my journal hahaha in't it sexy?! i think so...
tell me how you CAN"T miss that.