I liked how you began the story with the description of the place Livia is in, like a camera is focusing on several people as the narrator is talking. "But as we look more closely, we notice a girl standing at the back." I liked that.
The part with the mask was creepy (when you described the color melting and the tearful right eye) but I felt like it could've been more horrifying. You have it in you to creep us the hell out, I know it!!
Comments 7
luv it sooo much
gd luck finishing it
:3
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As usual, I love the quotes. Mashalla they fit :P
I liked how you began the story with the description of the place Livia is in, like a camera is focusing on several people as the narrator is talking. "But as we look more closely, we notice a girl standing at the back." I liked that.
The part with the mask was creepy (when you described the color melting and the tearful right eye) but I felt like it could've been more horrifying. You have it in you to creep us the hell out, I know it!!
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I appreciate your faith in my ability to horrify and terrorize my reader's imagination :)
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i loved it the more u write the more i will read k +)
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