untitled

[rotatingcookie]

Title: draftdraftdraftdraft
Pairing: Kai/Sehun
Rating: R
Genre: Action(?)
Length:~2500
Summary/Warnings: kris, some gore at the end , swearing, character death, a character has suicidal thoughts, zombies

Comments

[anonymous]

hhhhhh, your dialogue is brilliant. and the writing style is very clean and devoid of any purple prose. i sure hope you don't have many concerns because it's really hard for me to pick anything out. i have a question though, did you mean for a somewhat voyeur-ish point of view? intended or not, i really like this quick-paced style, it's like one of those non-linear movies in written form! i look forward to the sehun/jongin dynamic, as thus far, they are simply just characters existing in the same verse.

[rotatingcookie]

Thank you!! I do try to avoid being overly descriptive. I tend to like fics that are short, sweet and get to the point ^u^
However, details do add to the characters and the world (total pun opportunity right here), so I’ll work on adding those!

As for the pov, well… it’s definitely not on purpose lol. I wanted to try out an odd pov by switching between the two mcs every twelve hours because it would’ve been fun, but I found that if I did that, I would end up missing some critical scenes :c

[anonymous]

ok before i start, i'd like to say that i'm always in a constant state of confusion when i don't know every single detail about the fic's universe. if i come off as .. like.. empty headed or dull, it's just because of that! the entire universe hasn't been revealed via the story yet, that's all :) plus also idk what a shiki is

[anonymous]

wait, same anon here, i also just wanted to let you know i really enjoyed the last little vignette thing! like the whole.. flashing.. thing.. like.. wow.. impact!!

[rotatingcookie]

Ahh thank you ^^ I’ll be expanding on the world some more, so hopefully it’ll make more sense soon!

Shiki is this one anime/manga series about, zombie/vampire/corpse people(?? idk) in a rural village. It was kinda dumb because people started receiving suspicious bite marks and dying right after the new foreign neighbors with COMPLETELY BLACK EYES moved in and no one suspected a thing >_>

I’ll try to fix all the grammar errors~ I tried to write in only present tense because I thought it sounded more impactful, but I seem to have slipped up woops ::

I’m confused about something though. What did you mean by “end in sentences instead of commas”…? Is it something like this error?

> “Blah blah ton otp n’existe plus blah blah”, someone said.

Or was it something else?

[anonymous]

dialogue should look like this

"i love parties," baekhyun said.
rather than
"i love parties." baekhyun said.