My little Lorelai is now over a month old. i cant believe it really. but i took her to her first doctor's appointment and all is well. she is growing right at her curve. now at 7 pounds 2 ounces and 20 inches long. as for being a mother, well, i love it. it is difficult somedays when all i want to do is cry because i am away from her father ( Read more... )

Sunday October 7th at 4:34am, after seven hours in the hospital and only two hours of pushing, my daughter Lorelai was born. 6 pounds 5.3 ounces, 18 1/2 inches long. Soft, straight dark hair and dark eyes(they looked blue at first but get darker each day). She has her daddy's nose and my cheeks and she is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. ( Read more... )

I'm not due for two more weeks (october 17th to be exact) but the realization that i could go at any moment is freaking me out. I hope i'm ready for this. I love her so much already. I never knew i could love anyone this much and it is a love that will only grow stronger once she is here ( Read more... )

Damn, i've never had so much trouble starting an entry. I just dont know how to even begin to form the words. It is something so simple, so natural and yet so very complicated. What a feeling of absolute joy and terror. The world becomes different when you are no longer the most important thing in your life ( Read more... )

In my entire life, nothing has ever been so difficult to begin. well, to end really. i took a chance. and anything that came out of it was nothing that i didnt choose. things were not what i expected. the dream was over and i tasted a real life that i could never imagine. i lost myself in a monster. one that had more control over me than i felt ( Read more... )

good music, good conversation, great company and a kick ass "nights" sleep. couldn't have asked for a better night with an old friend ( Read more... )

I leave on the 21st. I am excited to start a new life. But at the same time my heart is sad. I look out the window and i will miss everything. The way the colors change. The cold days spent under piles of blankets. Days with friends and family. But there is so much to look forward to. So much i loved in that place. The smell of the water. The sound ( Read more... )

It is very daunting when you realize that you dont know who you are anymore. Nothing is the way it was supposed to be. So many things have changed and none of them the way i would have chosen. My life feels so meaningless ( Read more... )

yea, so, anyone hear about the shooting that happened in marysville last sunday? i was there. oh what fun. because it happened about a few feet from my door. and the damn piggies basically locked me out of my own fucking apartment. fucking hick town ( Read more... )

you ( Read more... )