Lj Idol: Week 4, "What does Narcissism have to with me"

[xreesex]

The sky hangs heavy with moisture and the faint scent of electricity. A huge bonfire has been built, flames lapping upwards in an ever steady rhythm. Women dance all around it, some looking for love; the topless ones looking for a good fuck. I hate these nights, cheap beer bringing out cheap morals. I come here to watch, to make sure nothing

Comments

[sweeny_todd]

I love the image of her tattoo! lovely prose :-)

[xreesex]

Thank you, honey!

[xreesex]

Aw, thank you. I don't know how I feel about it. I was trying to get out an entry and started with one thing and then this came out. <3

[xreesex]

I like your fiction!!

Yeah, everyone seems to be struggling this week with ideas, I don't know why it's such a hard topic!

[similiesslip]

You're very good with all the descriptive details. I could truly "see" this in my mind.

Great job setting the scene. I need to learn to learn to write descriptions better. This is lovely!

[xreesex]

Oh, thank you for the wonderful compliment! I was hoping it made sense since I wrote it late last night.

[similiesslip]

I truly mean it. It..in rather different circumstances, it reminded me of something I once tried to write. But you..yours turned out the way mine sounded in my mind but didn't come out.

(different details in the story but kind of alike.)

I guess.. part of it is the..in life, I'm often the observer, longing but not..I guess it's the feelings as well as the description. The "yes but not tonight." In different circumstances, I "know" those kind of feelings.

(I'm not sure I made sense. So I guess that's part of it too. You conveyed it and it flowed and made sense. Your writing..made me think of the dancing. It had that kind of rhythm somehow.)

[xreesex]

I was hoping to move in rhythms when I wrote it, so I really appreciate this comment.

I'm an observer often too, and while it depresses me sometimes, I have learned a lot about people this way.

[basric]

Excellent storytelling, leaving me wanting more.

[alien_infinity]

You did really well with the visuals, especially the description of the tattoo. :)